the sadoo walks. it walks and walks, walking through walls of talk (what a magician!), wearing out its socks (where will it get new ones?), listening to its cock (what a blabby flabby thing!), death's clock tick-tock knock (how calm! how turbulent!). why does it walk, this doo-doo dao face? just to listen and wear out and wonder? if it were just these things, wouldn't that be fine? but the sadoo is not as evolved as it sometimes wants itself to be--being human and mortal and not much more--so it also walks for other things. it walks to dissipate its desolation, to laugh at its haplessness, to place its solitude on the wings of the sun and watch it burn. walking transplants the false roots in the sadoo's controlling mind, in its greedy heart, in its hungry ticky-cock, into the movement of its feet, the stillness of its eyes. what grows in such transplanted soil? walking, wearing out, listening, walking
30.4.10
The Sadoo, Walking
the sadoo walks. it walks and walks, walking through walls of talk (what a magician!), wearing out its socks (where will it get new ones?), listening to its cock (what a blabby flabby thing!), death's clock tick-tock knock (how calm! how turbulent!). why does it walk, this doo-doo dao face? just to listen and wear out and wonder? if it were just these things, wouldn't that be fine? but the sadoo is not as evolved as it sometimes wants itself to be--being human and mortal and not much more--so it also walks for other things. it walks to dissipate its desolation, to laugh at its haplessness, to place its solitude on the wings of the sun and watch it burn. walking transplants the false roots in the sadoo's controlling mind, in its greedy heart, in its hungry ticky-cock, into the movement of its feet, the stillness of its eyes. what grows in such transplanted soil? walking, wearing out, listening, walking
22.4.10
THE SADOO AS FLANEUR
A serious question that must be addressed in the future discipline of Sadoo Studies is the extent to which the sadoo is a flâneur. A number of significant obstacles are immediately raised.
The flâneur is most ecstatically, horribly, and originally linked to Saint Charles Baudelaire and the museum of Paris. Saint Baudelaire wandered that museum—before it became a museum—during The Great Age of the Birth of The Modern City, when pedestrians were pedestrians not the extensions of cars; when cities were livable and scalable and walkable; when Paris was a living beauty and not a postcard of itself.
It would take many days to walk across Delhi today—most of it tedious, sterile, feet-unfriendly, eye-unfriendly. So in the 143 years since St. Baudelaire died, the psychic and artifactual mass one has to negotiate to see God—the only objective of any authentic sadoo or flâneur—has exponentially and continues to exponentially increase. The distance between the genitals and purity, beast and divinity, ignorance and knowledge, the sacred and the profane, commerce and creation, is now so great as to break the feet of all but the greatest stroller. The human soul itself is being stretched from creation’s dim dawn to apocalypse’s eager maw and what tends to fill its corpulent diameters are money, mirrors, and noisy wills.
Since the ugly tepid demise of St. Charles, the term flâneur has been usurped by the academy and its pedants. This began with Georg Simmel (The Metropolis and Mental Life) and Walter Benjamin (The Paris of the Second Empire in Baudelaire), both likable enough, and from them into the rhetorical discursive polemical psychosociocultural analytical critical mediocre gobbledyfoofoo that passes for knowledge among those who dispense degrees from within the pomo vending machine which in the common tongue is called the university.
But the flâneur is no idea, but first a leaf in bodily form, second the eye that God lacks, and third a continuous visceral-emotional shock that the world in its corrupt incompetent horror and beauty is the way it is.
Whether the flâneur was moneyed or impecunious, he was invariably indolent—at least according to any standard definition of industry. Yet St. Charles flâneured in the pre-nanosecond world when art, God, and nature still were legitimate republics in their own right and had not yet capitulated to money’s false monistic claim. So leisure, anonymity, and caprice have been increasingly desecrated and, with these, the flâneur. Even artists these days—with their workshops and websites, careers and conformance—have lost not just the ability to walk, but their right to walk.
The rise and dominance of virtualization means that a flâneur is now a simulacrum of the flâneur: one can walk the world without walking; one can stroll Parisian streets through two-dimensions from a St. Louis suburb; one can receive mock-shocks and e-bustles from a virtual crowd in a potato-chip-chomping bedroom.
Three or four or more questions arise from these meandering musings and thick conceptual walls.
1. Is the flâneur dead?
2. If not, why? If not, how is it and/or can it—it being flâneurism—be transformed?
3. How is the sadoo a flâneur?
An attempt at answers.
St. Baudelaire’s flâneur is dead—or at least seriously maimed—but the flâneur lives on, minimally in the imagination and quite possibly in that most archaic of possibilities—the body.
The flâneur may continue to live because—
— the crowd—as offensive, cloacal, faceless, goalful, merging, as the nineteenth century—continues to exist and grow and throb in its active urban malaise. As long as the urban crowd exists and bulges, so must the flâneur.
— money—modernity’s cheap divinity—is no longer transcended through art, God, or nature but only through that which money now utterly depends on … movement—continuous meaningless movement—the flâneur’s chief love.
— one subverts the dominance of technomoney (and all money is now technology) by returning to the body in its schizoid simplicity. Certainly the urban throb-mob tries to return through sex, Baudelaire capturing this in his observation—sexuality is the lyricism of the masses. More modernly and popularly, TV shows such as Sex and The City express Baudelaire’s thought mythically and specifically. But the flâneur goes deeper than sex—which reeks too much of self-interest, groupgrasp, and false promises—into the body’s rank core: the combination of futile bestial wandering with the raw deep eye of God. It is a truism to say that nature no longer exists except as metaphor. There is one exception, though. And that is the body in the city—nature’s last stronghold. The flâneur does not primarily give his body over to other individual bodies (the sexual frenzy which dominates urban despair and ecstasy), but to the body of the city in its entirety and so attempts to recover the ancient trees and texts as they were once alive. Attempts to recover them on the shimmering sweat of his flesh.
This particular sadoo has extensively and precisely imagined the modern city as the sarcophagus of God—that we are secretly sustained by decaying divinity, affording the ecstasy our species requires. The human has always thrived on death—we kill (physically, emotionally) to risk extending ourselves—and the city affords great feasting. Faith in the city—the only faith remaining—necessitates believing God is dead; this is no textbook belief, no parched cognitive truth, but one as living and sinewy as water. This faith in the city is an aspect of the sadoo’s faith and an aspect of what drives him to walk.
So, then, the sadoo as flâneur sojourns aimlessly through God’s decaying body to observe and document the great convulsing human mass which has dubiously taken the burden of god upon itself; he sojourns, observes, and documents before the eye that circumscribes divinity, humanity, and bestiality disappears into itself, the city collapses to two dimensions, and the resultant mirror reflects nothing.
7.4.10
THE SADOO MAT
In a world of acceleration, the sadoo slows down; even stops. In a world of specialization and consequent ideology, the sadoo skims across the ocean of knowledge in his scatoo and the only thing he knows is the waves. In a world scared of darkness and silence, the sadoo avoids neither light nor noise but they seem to him simply different faces of night. The busy heap is busy buzzing, being anxious. About money, security, reputation, love, health, and--behind it all--that great diffused monolith, death. The bedsheets of memory, the duvets of hope, are happy escapes.
What does the sadoo do? He laughs and dances and eats and breaks his celibacy vows when necessary. When money happens, it happens; when it doesn't, it doesn't. So with love and death. Does he notice a difference in quality between having and lacking? How could he? The world is always full and verdant and he is in the world. Every day is much the same, every day is entirely new.
This particular sadoo--Sadoo Diaper--has taken recently to sleeping on a foam mat on the floor and performs a twice-daily pilgrimage to store and retrieve his mat and bedding. He views this as a comic ritual. Ritual--and thus serious--in that it occurs regularly and reminds him of old unspeakable things--as a dog might piss at a space where a church wall once stood. Comic in that the gap between the modesty of his sadoo-mat and the glory of the mighty mattresses he has had seems like no gap (he sleeps just as well, dreams as pleasantly) and he chuckles at the non-difference. He chortles at the thought that the only difference is that he makes a daily silly pilgrimage, which he ponders and enjoys.
The only hero left is the non-hero. So as bumbling Bloom is to Odysseus, the farting sadoo is to Buddha, we all--absurd, passionate, and mortal--are to the swirling forces of life (once named the gods) that cast us up, swirl us around, and soon enough feed us to monsters and flowers.
The sadoo is free not by exercising his will, expanding the artifacts and prosthetics around him, or attempting to nail his name to the sky ... but by watching the clouds blot out the moon and hearing a cat's bell tinkle in the distance.
13.3.10
Of Merdia III
I cannot create from the power of myself, for what am I but the extension of my mother? Yet when I look at the perfect brown spirals curled happily in the tranquil waters awaiting their fate with dignity and silence, I know I too am capable of extensions as holy as my mother’s.
1.3.10
Of Merdia II
In the low is the high, in excrement are mansions. Every artist and homosexual knows this. Art swirls in the toilet. Sewers give birth to visions. Should I ignore Merdia, my life will be a suburb, smelling only of Mr. Clean and Lysol. Merdia is my fire for another world, a world I create to set against the power of my mother.
16.2.10
Of Merdia I
I am deeply in love with Merdia, goddess of first creations. She shows me my true destiny; she, more than any of the millions in the teeming pantheon, smells of truth. She, not my mother, was my first love. My mother I cannot help but resent; I am her creation, not she mine. We both know this, and this is her eternal power over me. How do I transcend this knowledge? To whom do I turn to draw power to combat my mother's supernatural strength? Merdia, she is the goddess of my first creation and the power of my once and future combats.
9.2.10
THE BOWL AND THE QUILT
The Sadoo wishes in their blog to weave a strange quilt. Not—it should be obvious—one that records having omelets for breakfast and little thoughts about the NFL. She does not wish to post pictures of the pricks of Supermodels or discuss the relationship between the Udder Pata Ash psyche and its suburban literature. No, they has other little threads to weave. He wishes to keep you suspended over the ultimate design of her comfy canopy. What is the Vision it dreamt 20 years ago? How shall it integrate or not with his Group Names and those additions of Others? Will her Group Names ever be complete or are they, like desire, infinite?
Now that my method is clear (or methodology, as the academics prefer), allow them to foreshadow two of the imminent threads.
One is a meditation on the Tao Te Ching, a book which has fascinated The Sadoo with its natural polarity to the bulk of Christian texts and its this-worldly orientation. Sadoo has taken to memorizing the DC Lau translation and, after each vignette is racing comfortably around with ou blood, they allows it to speak itself through him.
Two is a more comic (or is it?) meditation on one of The Sadoo’s most excellent activities—scatting. Sadoo has long noticed a distinct lack of adequate homage to the Noble Scat in literature. Certainly Chaucer and Shakespeare exploited the fart and Bloom's lingering Pprrpffrrppffff in Ulysses does modern justice. And a not incorrect interpretation of art in its entirety is that it's humanity's flatulence directed toward the heavens. We wish for a voice to be heard, "Whoa ... my beloved species ... my Divine Nose! ... in whom I am ... phew! ... well pleased" ... it won't happen, of course, but we're genetically predisposed to keep trying. Ze has also noticed that the traditional divine pantheons lack an adequate Holy Member to receive our praise and distress for what happens in The Bowl.
Being not just a taxonomist, but a scatologist, The Sadoo conjured with ve hapless sadooic colleagues and, in a terribly joyous and volcanic moment, encountered Merdia—goddess of ribald smells and steaming coils. All beauty is born in the toilet, all art crawls from mud and—as Yeats taught us—love itself has pitched yo mansion in the place of excrement. The Sadoo lives, as tey must, in the source and origin of things, laughing at how others despise that source and yet depend on it for life and culture. The Scat is where all things begin. Merdia must receive her due.
Weaving patterns in ways the loom directs, with a nidus of mothers and Tao and merde, the quilt begins. I wish it to cover the earth with sleepy exuberant tones and the down of gods.
7.2.10
GROUP NAMES G - P
| geeks | usurpation |
| geriatrics | complaint, olfactory, swallow |
| glass blowers | cunnilingus |
| gravediggers | descent, jukebox |
| guests | confusion, misunderstanding |
| heterosexuals | domination, constipation, despondency |
| husbands | cornucopia, temerity |
| impaired drivers | incarceration, spiritus, secretion, fumbling |
| janitors | doubt |
| journalists | despair, vomit, gall |
| kibitzers | deal, gratuity |
| lawyers | pomposity, jargon, bile |
| lepers | testament |
| lesbians | domesticity, lapidary |
| magicians | trace |
| mausoleum attendants | drawer, immobility, dearth |
| mayors | erection |
| mediums | acephalous |
| menstruators | funhouse |
| middle managers | mush, tenement |
| midwives | caesura |
| mistresses | codification, excess, levy, competition |
| mothers | album, query, blindness, sentimentality |
| mystics | eternity, negation |
| narcissists | reflection, kaleidoscope |
| neighbours | voyeurism, comparison, envy |
| newlyweds | shutter |
| nuns | beatitude, regress, murmur, hymen |
| nurses | fantasy, formaldehyde |
| nursing mothers | bouquet, areolae, murmur |
| ovulators | funhouse |
| perjurers | deception |
| philosophers | asomatous, labyrinth, consolation |
| piano tuners | intuition |
| piccoloists | fellatio |
| pimps | meanness |
| poets | preponderance, neglect, tedium |
| politicians | irrelevance |
| post-menopausals | historicity |
| preachers | deception, incinerator |
| presidents | repetition, cliché, forgettability |
| priests | consolation, pederasty |
| principals | grumpy |
| professionals | sorrow, pride, indistinction |
| professors | pretence, verbosity, abstruseness, tenure |
| programmers | carbonation, simulacrum, acronym |
| prostitutes | detachment, junction, diffusion |
| protestors | indignation, perturbation |
29.1.10
GROUP NAMES A - F
We're all animals and if animals deserve anything, they deserve names. I've got a name - Sadoo. You've got a name - Thanatos, Mooty-Socks, Wee Willie Wilbur, Alice Nd Çurap Mazlum ... whatever moved your mother in the weird reaches of the night. But when you see a pack of chefs sauntering down the street, you don't (or shouldn't) say, "Hey, look at that pack of chefs." You say (or should say), "Hey, look at that arrogance of chefs." And just as a pack of cats can be called a clowder, clutter, pounce, dout, nuisance, glorying, or glare (but not a pack) and kittens can be called a kindle, litter, or intrigue and cats wearing glasses can be called a geek, surprise, or impossibility and wild cats are simply a destruction, so those chefs can be many-named.
We'll do this in segments (beginning with A-F), interspersed with thoughts about pants, no-pants, underpants, uberpants, and--of course--farting. Add your own names, your own groups. Disagree with me. Share the names with your friends and enemies. Start using them in public. Let's get them in the dictionary before we die.
We'll do this in segments (beginning with A-F), interspersed with thoughts about pants, no-pants, underpants, uberpants, and--of course--farting. Add your own names, your own groups. Disagree with me. Share the names with your friends and enemies. Start using them in public. Let's get them in the dictionary before we die.
adulterers | transgress, alibi, caprice |
accountants | deceit, morgue, receipt, conceit |
agents | veiling, unveiling |
anarchists | constitution, vacancy, non-existence |
architects | erection, fenestration |
baptismal candidates | cowardice, wetness, confession |
bastards | stew, confusion |
believers | lobotomy, earnestness, syllogism |
bums | query, emancipation |
cashiers | catastrophe, mausoleum, flirtation |
chefs | competition, arrogance, suicide |
children | amorality |
consultants | semiotics, jealousy |
couriers | illegality |
cowards | comfort, tradition, omnipresence |
crossword addicts | cabal |
cuckolds | camaraderie, barnyard, greenhouse, serenity |
dancers | anorexia, diet |
doctors | obfuscation |
donut-lovers | cancer, exegesis |
dropouts | icharus |
engineers | balustrade, catapult, kingdom, input, euphemism (sanitation) |
entrepreneurs | resurrection, hummer |
epileptics | unpredictability |
executives | clone, treason |
farmers | reduction, irrelevance |
fashion students | aggression |
fathers | memory, poverty, absence |
fornicators | ingress, confession, condom |
freshmen | syphilis |
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