deranged tales from a sadoo stoodio

brumyren &

the future of whonymity

on merdre 29 a brumasaurus enters galadaps bedroom through an obscurity in valuation and befriendment spontaneously occurs and they tour through a menagerie of whonyms and whether the cages are small or large the whonyms think themselves free and the friends laugh a tad & awhile and watch the ruttings and gobblings a bit agog though commenting after over a few zazaracs that the expedition was remotely tedious for what is the whonym that it thinks itself so grand in its cages   but arent you a whonym asks brumasaurus

its the first thing ı remember mama saying  that our tasks to construct a plurality of worlds thatre invisible to whonyms and thatre more real than all worlds most real to whonyms and that these invisible worlds are inseparable from the one true visible world  less that of galleries and skyscrapers and michelinrestaurants and gazebos  lawnmowers iphones refineries knives though these arent excluded  yet more of the forgotten realms of forests clouds moss darkness   you brumasaurus are a creation of the meeting of those worlds and so am ı and so is the house of mama and so whether we who are of such birth are whonyms or some other thing   ı think that knowledge may be in the house of mama and playing hide and seek with me and this game seduces me to the marrow

we galadap my brister my sother are spovers in lirit

that may be brumy

that we fuliginous dinos are back on the radar must mean something

a theorys that as the gap between nature and whonymity  animalflesh and whonymflesh  increases   so nature and animal bridge the uncanny through shadow and enter the whonym from within

so the same applies to time

which takes the form of all shapes   something capitalist money doesnt have the capacity to recognize and as whonyms wear this money as their skin theyve lost the ability to know the many forms of time

i see we dinos growing in the whonym and bursting forth from whonym meat and returning to our foragings in a feral and demoneyed earth

ı wouldnt go that far

i see those born of widget and fern  swamp and vision  as the beginning of a new alphabet  the seeds of a future language that will merge image and meaning and the whonym will become as pleorotus braueri  trampled into the march of mulch  another taxon among countless taxa that was overspent

exciting concepts

i see dino and biped dancing to the drums of blue memories loosely hung in the once burnt forest  eyes open like stars and canopies of love flung over us like dreams

ı search for my species and find mockery and indifference   wander aimlessly in the rooms of the house of mama and listen for whispers of understanding   conventions parade outside like howitzers   this meat in which ım housed in an oven with bovines and porcines and screams silenced by pervasive feasting   ı search for my tribe like a ghost released from its encasement by spirits of unknowing and cry out the names given to me by midnight and echoes from outside of recognition return like summer flies   ım forlorn and wretched and dont know who ı am

but im brumy and im your friend

and the two outcasts venture into the night and detour the zoo until they pass through the customs of perception and enter naked the foyer of footstools of the throneroom of clouds

deranged tales from a sadoo stoodio

 

the pause of atramenta

each ides galadap goes to town and climbs the scaffold of the emple of ouds  puts a noose around her neck  opens a trapdoor 30 metres above the thranpopo and leaps   its the travelling saleswhonym of naganmaal who sells drigs from the forbidden city of namh who teaches her   extones it spent nine years in namh  exiled there through an enchantment of technical disallowance that achieves exemption by the energies of an encompassing indifference

galadaps just playing in the legoroom with her brumasaurus and a cup of taraxacum tisane when hallooo balloooo echoes through the house of mama and footsteps on the fifth or sixth floor approach like rubber balls i have drigs from the forbidden city of namh and i am from naganmaal and you are my esteemed client   but ive no need for drigs galadap thinks how shall i outwit this sliminess approaching

on an agenda of town council is galadaps leaping  for crowds are gathering and the ides are becoming no longer some disappearing reference and the reeves  some blæcca ruff your worship  intent on exterminating this habit but therere councillors whore entwined with the services of the house of mama and your worship knows it and mamas unknown to interfere in much of dotters doings

recursively and with frequent semblances of descending hallooo balloooos ripple the tisane and brumasaurus spikens in some corners  it got in through the luminosity must tell mama but how to do it and when to see her the lists are growing mutters galadap and the legorooms aquiver and the saleswhonym enters anon aloft with a nonfluorescence that briefly stills the brumasaurus and places galadaps mind to when mama brings her to the fired ossuaryist and lamps are lit and the vaults release their knowledge

its when atramentas gliding by in plumes and garters that the encompassing indifference extols itself in slim discretions in supple alleys and instead of advancing as almost all the principles descry they pause and listen to the seeping energies  and there  in the pause  an exemption opens and the travelling saleswhonym of naganmaal falls into it and through it to the forbidden city of namh and atramenta realize what theyve done and retreat into the forests and live on berries and dew for many solstices

the councils divided and your worship reels and steals to pass a prohibition on nooseleaping over the thranpopo but victory evades that blæcca ruff and it calls on the metamage suasor who owes it for a beneficent infidelity in the yesteryorrow

we can conjure the lusokasunalaki   but there may be unintended consequences

such as

such as   the order of things may find itself in positions of rare contortions

but thingness is such that that of which you speaks part of its order

inevitably   but as contours bend within thingness thingness itself risks losing the things that comprise its very essence

also inevitably   but as thingness also in its very essence cannot by definition lose itself the order continues regardless of these contortions and bendings of which you so fondly speak

inevitablies compound unto the manner of thingness   we cant dispute your logicalities for the spheres a great master in this regard and neither can we dispute the bendings and contortings of which we are not in fact particularly fond or disregarding   nevertheless we shall proceed as we must according to the afflictions of debts and respects are due magnanimously to us participants and the noble objectives in which we participate

and with neither party having understood much of what the other or itself has said the metamage suasor returns to its diaolou and conjures the lusokasunalaki and that ally of the house of mama  councillor d4f851c80e01  is dismembered by a clad of attack bananas and the prohibition passes but  as may have been inferred  the clad retains an unspoken autonomy and your worship as its performing its toilet is made bereft of eyeballs gonads lefthand rightfoot and suasor visions the amputated morrow and the balance of the books

meanwhile in the legoroom brumasaurus distracts the drigsmonger from naganmaal and the forbidden city of namh with a litany of nonsequiturs and galadap practices her luminosity transgression stranger discernment module with sufficient seeming success that she glimpses a desirable trick tucked away in the velvet folds of a thieved encoignure in a sealed garret in an unmapped pyrgos in a remote constellation of hallooobaloooos costard and the two friends conspire to convince this higgler to demonstrate their goods for how it must be reasoned can one peddle in wares one refuses oneself to ingest into ones own meat   and so galadap learns the ancient namhian arts of hanging oneself in public over a river from scaffolding of emples from the prescribed list only on each ides without recourse to any diminishment of self and she still hasnt broached mama about the defect in the luminosity on the fifth or sixth floor

not much else can be said of the nine years in namh and this isnt simply as its forbidden but also because no one remembers

deranged tales from a sadoo stoodio

 

the art room

galadap finds out by accident one night she can drink jade acrylic ink and temporarily develop superhero powers   no other colours of acrylic ink and not india ink or anything else   she tries 20 mills of muted pink alizarine eg and just stays in bed for 2 days with terrible stomach pains and hallucinations of nineheaded squirrels reciting the gita   its when shes with her friend tivisti and theyre playing doktor as usual and while she has her finger in his cute little anus officially to be checking the temperature and hes saying but doktor its the wee worm growth on the other side im concerned about   it was like this   how galadap wants tivisti to be doktor so she can have his finger up her anus but it always ends up with her in the power position and how boring is that but whats she to do   its not as if she doesnt enjoy it but shed prefer to mix things up a bit and tivistis someone who gets turned on by routine and she needs novelty but doesnt know how to get it   lifes like that she thinks as she spreads whippedaquafaba on tivistis little worm and he invents aches & pains to tell her about and he says how only she can help him for she alone has the special wisdom and the secret treatments and the deeper knowledge   its then she on a whim decides to run to mamas art room and colour the whippedaquafaba and turn tivistis worm a beautiful green so she tiptoes away telling her patient to lie specially still and wait and not stiffen the worm and gets the key shes not supposed to know about from inside the ars theurgia goetia on the topmost shelf at the back of the gilt closet in the library  she has to use a chair and a few very old dictionaries & encylopedias to reach it   mamas out at one of cranishs orgies but galadap still tiptoes as a matter of respect for the transgression    mama forbids her at least once a month and more when shes drunk so always more than once a month to even think about going into the art room or finding the key but galadap sees mama one night in the new moon in february naked as antarctica and strange geometric markings on her meat and chanting to herself in langwiches of polypodiophyta and odonata and galadaps frozen down the long corridor of mirrors and her spectres multiplying in the glass but mamas possessed and sees nothing

i dont want you to put the jade acrylic ink on the whippedaquafaba on the worm   i like it white like marshmallows and fluffy as vachon cakes

vachon cakes arent fluffy binzo theyre gross and she fills the dropper with jade acrylic ink

ill let you be patient next time tivisti pleads

galadap hesitates   she doesnt quite believe tivisti  next time hell make up some excuse and theyll argue but hell have more stamina and shell give in and all this sacrifice for nothing

i promise   ill put my finger in your anus and check your temperature the way i know you really want

the thought makes galadap lose her reason well what should i do with this full dropper of jade acrylic ink

drink it says tivisti itll probably give you superhero powers

thats likely she says but lifts the dropper anyway to her mouth  squirts  swallows   not as bad as vachon cakes she thinks and begins to feel funny   im hungry she says faintly and i feel like a heloderma suspectum

youre not a heloderma suspectum so how do you know what a heloderma suspectum feels like 

youre not me so how do you know i dont know what a heloderma suspectum feels like

im not you but youre certainly not a heloderma suspectum

but you already knew i knew what a heloderma suspectum feels like when you asked me how i knew what a heloderma suspectum feels like   i know it by being right here in the doktors room with the jade acrylic ink      and galadap proceeds to eat tivisti   skin eyes sinews organs hair tendons bones nails muscle  beginning with the head and ending with a lick of the very last drop of blood   yummy galadap says that jade acrylic inks a fine thing but now i must get myself another friend to play doktor with

galadap becomes enchanted and learns the rules of this new magic   never drink on fridays   allow at least half a moon between feedings   dont mix   always fully eat the patient within an hour of drinking   dont wear the unicorn jammies   swallow the entire dropper   she likes some of her patients and feels occasional regret but eatings never been so much fun      its true various digestive anomolies have begun appearing   vambrance not only keeps chattering in galadaps tummy but right along through digestion and even in turdform which for all friends have become perfectly spherical and green and the size of fluffy golfballs   she has to flush him quickly down the toilet and hope the workers at the waste treatment plant dont notice anything suspicious   theyre probably all on drugs and the turds are talking anyway   yoj and abugida emerge from her anus shrunk but whole and the expulsions are more painful than when she fell off her tricycle and hit her head on a neighbours frontyard buddha   for some reason she cant get abjados lefteye down and buries it in mamas herbgarden by the mcmyrpors secret cemetery but the next day an eyebush has grown and she spends the morning online searching arcane texts instead of building the city hall of hades with lego the way she wants just to figure out how to get rid of the thing before mama returns from cranishs   aara likes being eaten and begs to go feet first but bites galadaps left pinky off just as the heads going in the mouth and galadap loses sleep that night over whether aara mauled her from ecstasy or revenge  whether the act was premeditated or spontaneous  justified and on what grounds  if shes bitten off bodyparts before  the severing was so efficient  what kind of training aara had to remain so calm during the meal and so on till the vast dawn arrives as hungry as ever

its when galadaps examining hish though that things really get going  everythings fine at first  she has two fingers in hishs anus and hish is saying please pretty please doktor can you put a pretty third one in and then we all shall be very very well when she excuses herself to go potty but truly to get the jade acrylic ink telling hish shell get four fingers when she returns   

but in place of the key in the ars theurgia goetia theres a note and it reads my darling darling galadap there are many layers & portals of forbiddings but the art room is of the most severe and there is no second chance   youll find your last bottle of jade acrylic ink in the anchorite washroom on the fourth floor by the pink bismuth   ive loved you like a dotter for that is what youve been

and galadap goes to the fourth floor and finds the anchorite washroom and drinks the jade acrylic ink which she finds beside the pink bismuth and devours hish like a timbit and goes to the library for she hears the ars theurgia goetia beckoning her with little whimsies but mamas swinging there from the chandelier naked as a sugarplum and the rope around her neck like the pearls of kurtz and mamas faces smiling and galadap smiles too and cuts mama down and knows this will be her last meal

shiteratures of confessing

 

ı enter the city of confessings with the silence of armadillidiidae and inquire at the municipal information booth which is a public toilet of how to find my way to the museum of novel  the customerservicewhonyms a colossal capybara and wearing nothing but brassieres and speaks through unknown holes a language of putrescence i understand more than ınglsh

if you take scum the genealogy of witches  the knowledge that circulates like malice among conductive outcasts and radaric wraiths overlaying it on the city with the screenprint of your destitution a map may appear though not according to your map of maps and in your confusion seek the legend and work out its interpretation with tears and dissembling and then seek the museum and youll find when you arrive that youve already paid the entrance fee but the exit fee  ah  well

they register the inexorable loss of the immediacy of memory   machines of representation cancel the references that support it  memory vomits itself into times clogged toilet and the future strung out in the bathtub and whonyms like trailerpark lights in a winter that doesnt end

the citys the book   one seeks a presence  however minor and fleeting  on its pages  or one reads  though the book while in plain views hidden and its text in the transient language of toadstools and clochards   one tries to read but the words are catadores  outcasts and porous  dispersed sloshed magicians without guild or code   yet if ones required to read one reads  even though meanings saturated with decrement and corruption   those of us of book but hardly in it try to write ourselves in through vain readings and the books fat and invisible and oozes all manner of militaristic insects   why one would ever try to be a part of its mystic machinations is a question for those nights youre misplaced alone in a forest and the moons down and unknown birds reel in the pitch of heaven

පාපොච්චාරණය කිරීම දාහත

 

lyteemə calls me up one afternoon and almost screams at me im not that kind of person for saying she was going to give me her mophie then retracting  you can take your mophies and shove them up all your filthy rectums except theres not enough room in them because theyre so full of shit i scream  youre attacking my character  gestate 666 morphie foeti in your warty anus and birth a termiteheap of dirty morphie babies in the morgue and let them loose on my person and destroy it and there shall be no backup  my phones wet with spit  youre being excessive  your morphiesre your decadence and the whore of babylon shall devour you alive and technology is your doom and the patch cables of existence shall pass you by  my eyesre gyrating like strippers and my tung lolls like jeremyhyatts sleepingpenis and my meats scarlet and horripilated and   but shes hung up and we giggle in the steamed spa of alienation   

were all looking for holes in communication arent we  apertures that take us through language to that sensation of being alone in the boreal forest after inescapable years in central delhi   that make langwich look like an idiot and we can sit back and gasp with pleasure at our inane complicity in this task that has seemed till now so critical  graspable  unavoidable  but has  for the moment anyway  become as ridiculous as marshmallows   isnt this why we seek and succumb to sex  it deceives but for that moment anyway comforts us that weve found the place below  the pit that circumscribes language and births it  rearing it into words that dissolve as quickly as rainbows   i see it now  what the mystics have flayed themselves for in their tiny hard cells of impossible silence   the silly french deconstructionists pomp about it in cisterns of wine but they know nothing but tenure and flagellation   the well that dances and the well that sings

seen from the cold window of the kitchen reflecting lights of the ministry of defense on the water as if theyre oracles of some quiet monster that breathes beneath the mud      my plasmatic throat vomits all langwiches      repentance  the last out you visit

le pénultième est mort

we havent had any sex for a few pages so lets fuck like the hippocritters we are   weve gone into one of those republican jesus white rumpydumpy churches in yokelahoma or sexas or disasraska or allahbama with sign slogans like this church is prayer conditioned  many who seek god at the eleventh hour die at 10:30  life without god is like an unsharpened pencil no point  give satan an inch and hell be a ruler   we break in at 333 sunday morning and find the immersion tank and sink into it clawing at each other like salacious mvumbi   we each have nine penises and nine vaginas and they ooze around our meat like maggots   stick allofem in us we both say in lustspeak and go at it like hinduism at the conception of consciousness

   at the peak of a ziggurat next time you gasp

                nipson anomēmata mē monan opsin i shout

                                eighteen simultaneous orgasms you scream

holy virgin jesus and

celibacy and cilices

and the papal smear and

many slutty marys

humppumping each other in chaotic unison in the baptistery of god in the heart of the porno republic at the end of the world we build our release like khafre grimacecontort religiosexually speak ritual fragments like priests of the fulfillment of degeneracy leave our textile shreds around the pulpit smear our cum on the pews fuck u amerika and christou we spraypaint on the walls giggling like corpses and gyrate from the front doors naked and saved

sex in a novels like wanking  you gotta do it then you forget about it and move on

qirasho lix iyo toban

as all dreams and screams know  to the extent it exists realitys a hypersphere or sphere or patasphere and the geography of these spheres includes a centre a circumference and a middle   sure the centres everywhere and the circumferences nowhere and the middles somewhere or the middles nowhere and the centres somewhere and the circumferences everywhere or however you want to put it in your fancischmantzi sophistries and all that may be true but theres still  like pollen and sand and clouds  middles and circumferences and centres  and what we call progress is just the expansion of the sphere so theres more middle and circumference   or more aptly what we call progress is part of a process we could describe as the breathing of the sphere as it expands and contracts   our obsession with wholeness wellness yoga spirituality ayahuasca the whole theybang relates to the fact that while we long to mirror the sphere in ourselves the spheres become too monstrously huge for us to do that  and its garbages so massively voluminous now even if you could for an instant hold the whole within you  including all its garbage for you cant have the mixterclean without the meowlitter  youd immediately incinerate   so despite yab about authenticity or unity or whathaveyou we have to specialize   most people  quite sensibly  praiseem lunchwithem  specialize in an aspect of the middle  they become lawyers or rangers or mercenaries or hrprofessionals or junkies or fishmongers or writers or mishfongers or mechanics or wastemanagementworkers  and there in that world they live and judge and breathe   but a few losers cant resist the perversion to dwell elsewhere  somewhere on the edges maybe   for as one cant be a competent surgeon  hairstylist  accountant  and prizewinning rhododenron grower  so one cant habitate along all regions of the circumference either   nobody understands anyone outside their specialty of course and even then its suspect which is why were all so obsessed with communication   because communication like tomorrow never happens   but at least the whonyms of the galacticallysized middle  however much they want to kill each other  are manufactured to function according to the operating principles of the middle and speak machinespeak to one another and think theyre poets   but those of us of the elsewheres have a completely different manual and dictionary  and so all of this toos happening when i go out to get eggs

speaking of eggs why do manual and dictionary have man and dick in them   if a woman wrote womanuals and cuntionaries what would they look like   confessings‽ 

onessings xv

 

we refer unreaders to our meditations on novel to determine whether or not confessingss a novel  after all if museo de la novela de la eternas a novel why cant this be   youre a novel im a novel theyre a novel   and to covida as to whether confessings is a pandemic   we do know that confessingss a very important new way to organize and present time   its also  and this shouldnt be undervalued or dismissed just because were uncouth blasphemous and obscene  worship   orisons of praise and supplication   toward what‽   god of course   but you clearly dont believe in any god‽   naturally not  theres no surer way to destroy god than belief   then what the hell are you talking about‽   those who ask such questions expecting answers in any form let alone words should be on basefook not confessings   you sure depend on words for someone who doesnt value them   words are breath and breath is time and times confessing  but none of thats a dependence ands more of a love affair

what our unreader doesnt realize is that confessing isnt done  its not an activity  and certainly not one that has an object   for proper confessing to occur you dont confess to anyone  or you confess to everything continuously which is much the same thing   and its this quality of confessing thats its energy   that turns us confessingadi into desert parents and children full of strange beseechings and succiduous visions

witlesstein once said that theyd planned to make a philosophical work consisting entirely of jokes but that they had failed to write this book since they lacked a sense of humour   this is that book  we are witfullstein and langwichs our ontology and fuck

im very pleased with the way my lifes decaying   the methods by which im set aside and forgotten   these daily death gifts each of which is a healthy bonbon full of nutrition and surprises   i await their delivery as the suburbs await their fedex and amazon packages  with a tracking anticipation and anxiety

the city wallows in its glittering makeup and the exiled trees sniff the newcomer perfume as if it were a laughter or an innocence

even the thought now of leaving house to get eggss an adventure  as complex as planning to go to eukratidia or invade nauru   i must be 92  society looks like a highschool corridor  i go to a bar and its full of yabbering foeti   hows langwich possible in the womb i say moscow mules in the uterus i say conders never wease i say  im beaten up and thrown in a dumpster and the fun rolls without end   its my fault   ive lost capacity  ive retreated so far for so long i dont remember how to socialize   the autoexile of my dreams has become my cave and bedding   but those whove retreated from retreat andve lost my capacity to lose capacity   we seek a society in which ones permitted to retreat and to retreat from retreat simultaneously and equally  we want many treats

all the conflicted blab from the colonialists following the scripts about first nations   if they were serious about compensation all the white people would go to compounds called second nations  perhaps farflung walled ghettoes in the wilderness with mercury and whiskey for water  and the first nations people would take over the cities and wed see what happens

debt avowings 十四

 

so weve established in our outsider skullarship that in the big inning theres the meatscape or meatspace or meatverse which contrasts with the pataverse and this is the new gnosticism   evrythng cums round   so u go pata or u go meat   meat isnt meta its meat  not a meetup but a meatpu ie meatpoo   of course theres no big inning only infinite teenyweeny ones like polkadot bee keenies   i once dated a dispolkadotted bee keenie and they were keen as screams lemme telu  keen as lemons on a russian rollercoaster  keen as poutine jizzin on a ewe crane  goto urban dick shun airy and look it up  lick it all up

lemme speak like yesu in patables there was once a mamaw called mcurinal and it flushed like a big whack & stuffed the meatverse in its mamaw like a fryer and if it jizzed less than pooteen aint that just becuz it didnt and fried its frying in a tent called heyzoo and here we blow round again

heyzoo weeps

its dark as noon isnt it now and the sun hangs like pappardelle across an inexplicably horny earth and the aminals swag on the avenue of zeroes and the blood of love breaks the damned   where are the rivers my darling gnarling whys their song not on apple in eden   eyeeye say the rivers dying dying those whonyms love killing love killing killing and breathing is ending and musics dead

eye confess that night rises like an eagle on discluded horizons and eyes close like oceans on the unnamed

babies are enigmatically intent on something we adults cant fathom in our mature ignorance

i read skullarship when i need the fictions of order & reason

i read journalism when i need the fictions of order & unreason   

i read literature when i need the fictions of disorder and reason

i read mysticism when i need the fictions of disorder and unreason

a too ordered and irrational system

when the light of a summersolstice fullmoon rising in the south

enters the recesses of the cave of sıtėoppo

the desert rats rise from their monasteries and

battle the rats from the lake on the

parallelepipedic plains of dōlhēdōnōn

see violence  how it cycles through the temple like a coconut offered to grimacing gods with inoperable limbs flailing down the secret stairwells of disillusion  it flows greater than the hacked amazon through the polluted unnavigable lands of the whonym soul   the people straw and dogs picnic in its banks and copulate with temporary immunity  blood bubbles n love  addiction in pars and barties   just another movie   i dont belong   were contaminated all of us  reel like shot kangaroos from one figure to another   moral satisfaction denied

whonym
to bathe in violence to cleanse themself of themself

violence in justice  violence in mercy  violence in violence  violence in sacrifice  violence in ambition  violence in retreat  violence in meditation  violence in eating  violence in family  violence in creation  violence in silence  violence in langwich  violence in love      abysses open like glyphs in the soft curves of words

what shall we gather dear miners together

what shall we rescue from the sad womb of the earth

i crave my lovers infidelities   being too weak to engage in them myself i nevertheless need the adventure  however vicarious  they provide  and i cant be with her unless i convince myself she clandestinely copulates with crude strangers at the top landing of dirty staircases a floor or two above the roadhouse din of drinking boors   unworthy of love i enervate in the buzzing stupor of swamps and count the hours like jello

everybody wants to be a dictator or a middleclass housespouse or both but for the few of us who cant decide  well  we live in some limbo of the apophaticarchs running an anarchic lampadephoria without lights or track

eye confess to being a practising whonym but not a believing one  the first by necessity  the second also by necessity but of a different sort  i intend on writing anatomy of necessity thatll make burton look like a haikuist and an amoeba of taxonomy

the worlds overcharged with death and i move in it like a ghoul with an aptitude for fasting

the sun drizzles its warm apathy across the soulful and soulless alike and the citys streets are named kafka céline mishima krasznahorkai dickinson bishop weil sexton carrington acker lispector zürn tutuola cortázar macedonio songling chuangtzu and wraithliteratori hoard the intersections debating wittily obscure relations of the crossroad they find themselves say kierkegaard ave and sappho blvd  perhaps pessoa lane juts nonchalantly at the side  vehicles honk and scream and some brandish crowbars to wale against these violators of progress and disturbers of war but to no avail   the phantasma are protected by a law that stands outside the rule of clubs and knives and the sun drizzles down and the city is my heart

confıtėrı coven

let us pray

not for we believe in god

or prayer or praying but as

a necessary act of

righteous war on the

eternal battlefield of the

dead self

most dearie dearest dearie dear

we have alienated and been alienated and have been alienating and are alienating and alienated and have been alienated and are those who alienate and those whove been alienated and none others  alienators all of us in alienations of alienation      wed ask dearier dearest dearie dear that all this would stop or at least diminish except were not entirely delusional and see no way how except through delusion that we as we are could be anything but what we are and what with all the endless ripoff programs and gurus and pills that say we can be other than what we are but weve met the whonyms whove been through those programs and slept with those gurus and swallowed those pills and they aint any different than the rest of us though they say they are but as we all know saying and doing are two different things so drearier dearest dearier dear were not asking for anything and we dont even believe in you or us for that matter so there

um      amen

i confess to not just wanting a factless autobiography but an autobiographicalless autobiography   this is the story of that quest

my life  though i dont know what my or life or i is  is  and neither is is known  being actively deroticized by something  probably life   derotic is pronounced dur rot ick with the accent on the second syllable   it means de erotic or finding eroticism through eroticisms absence   its an art   most try to find one thing through the same thing   money through money   love through love   work work   sex through sex   but this is stoopid   always go through the backdoor   as every mystic worth its nothing knows you dont find god in god but notgod   not art in art but notart   not death in death but notdeath

ive long short medium and very long covid   i know because before covid smeared earth with its pandemic jelly i had already had every member of the herpes family   mouthherpes gonadherpes monoherpes poxherpes shinglesherpes eyeherpes soulherpes hangnailherpes anusherpes and covid loves herpes  the more herpes it finds the more it loves   so when covid first enters me in the himalayan foothills it says weve found some meat most hospitable to our inklings   and when it enters me a second time in stixvil they say why did we just vacation in this meatverse two suns ago let us set up shop and call it home and never leave   and covid mingles with the herpespace so that any remnant i in the meatscape drains away and all i am is covid and herpes  this hovid cerpes and i am no more

all i remember from working in the academy are violence and lust   when i left i had learned that knowledge is sex and abuse and all that peerreviewed shit is like the bulk of vatican gold   a weight to counter and detract from the true function of the institution         for the serialized inprogress novella based on a true story of unbelievable survival in academic hell see elspet clitias child of curse school      you wont believe your gonads!!