confıtėrı coven

let us pray

not for we believe in god

or prayer or praying but as

a necessary act of

righteous war on the

eternal battlefield of the

dead self

most dearie dearest dearie dear

we have alienated and been alienated and have been alienating and are alienating and alienated and have been alienated and are those who alienate and those whove been alienated and none others  alienators all of us in alienations of alienation      wed ask dearier dearest dearie dear that all this would stop or at least diminish except were not entirely delusional and see no way how except through delusion that we as we are could be anything but what we are and what with all the endless ripoff programs and gurus and pills that say we can be other than what we are but weve met the whonyms whove been through those programs and slept with those gurus and swallowed those pills and they aint any different than the rest of us though they say they are but as we all know saying and doing are two different things so drearier dearest dearier dear were not asking for anything and we dont even believe in you or us for that matter so there

um      amen

i confess to not just wanting a factless autobiography but an autobiographicalless autobiography   this is the story of that quest

my life  though i dont know what my or life or i is  is  and neither is is known  being actively deroticized by something  probably life   derotic is pronounced dur rot ick with the accent on the second syllable   it means de erotic or finding eroticism through eroticisms absence   its an art   most try to find one thing through the same thing   money through money   love through love   work work   sex through sex   but this is stoopid   always go through the backdoor   as every mystic worth its nothing knows you dont find god in god but notgod   not art in art but notart   not death in death but notdeath

ive long short medium and very long covid   i know because before covid smeared earth with its pandemic jelly i had already had every member of the herpes family   mouthherpes gonadherpes monoherpes poxherpes shinglesherpes eyeherpes soulherpes hangnailherpes anusherpes and covid loves herpes  the more herpes it finds the more it loves   so when covid first enters me in the himalayan foothills it says weve found some meat most hospitable to our inklings   and when it enters me a second time in stixvil they say why did we just vacation in this meatverse two suns ago let us set up shop and call it home and never leave   and covid mingles with the herpespace so that any remnant i in the meatscape drains away and all i am is covid and herpes  this hovid cerpes and i am no more

all i remember from working in the academy are violence and lust   when i left i had learned that knowledge is sex and abuse and all that peerreviewed shit is like the bulk of vatican gold   a weight to counter and detract from the true function of the institution         for the serialized inprogress novella based on a true story of unbelievable survival in academic hell see elspet clitias child of curse school      you wont believe your gonads!!