Of Merdia 30

Ms. Denum shows herself to be a citizen of the world.

30.        An understated thrill of traveling in foreign lands is the diversity of receptacles for Merdia's elegant fruit.  Once the traveler has negotiated the many cultural, linguistic, economic and ontological barriers between his portal to Merdia's goodness and the portal to the great conductivity of merde we call in the vulgar tongue, sewers, he finds a plethora of artifacts so vast his only response can be wonder and gratitude for the infinitely grand architecture Merdia has inspired.  One of my particular favorites is la toilette de profondeur, where the distance between the supplicant’s golden yawning cheeks and the sea's eager sheen is a meter or more, and the area of the water's surface so small that the devotee has only the most minuscule margin of error if he wishes to avoid that most gauche of offenses against the Goddess¾a ceramic skid.  In such circumstances, I am given the opportunity to prove my worth to She Who Purifies by depositing my offering in the center of the water's watchful eye.  There is a pause between the exit of my brown perfection and the explosion far below, a pause in which I have always found a mystic significance, for in that delicious moment between exiting and entrance, an eternity of moments sing and all Merdia's children join hands across the ages.

If Merdia is pleased, she rewards me with volcanic splashes¾the water leaps in ecstasy and I leave the establishment, no matter how humble and confined, sharing a secret smile with my Goddess.  I forget about the battles I have had to wage to approach this peculiar altar¾the rudeness of the attendant, the costly entry, the frequent shame of my ignorance with regard to technical operations, the occasional exposure of my aging body to passersby¾and view these only as glory on Merdia's path, petite bricks of tribulation and enlightenment on her brown and squishy way.  I know in those great moments of international travel that my Goddess lives, and she too is cosmopolitan.