Of Merdia 43 - 45

Cloa Denum closes Of Merdia, a piece that effected her recent elevation to sainthood by the Toilet God Consortium, presently led by Šulak, the Babylonian Lurker of the bathroom and demon of the privy.

43.         My jealousy of Merdia’s democratic graces has led me to open closets in the psyche best left shut.  I have been known to break laws which should not be broken and dine with people who should only eat alone.  I have no happy memory of these moments.  Shame is unleashed from its attic storehouse, runs down my soul’s corridors and wipes all joy away.  In those moments of unmitigated darkness, I seek ceramic, kneel, and leak feeble prayers onto the floor.  To love a goddess is always to love unrequitedly.  I have known this since my first diaper.  Yet, human as a turd, I fail, and fail again.  Merdia, forgive me.

44.        When I am old and about to lose Her grace, when the mastery I have devoted my life to begins to fade, when a dump is just a dump and not the Heavenly Chorus, when I am unable to fashion my creation into giants of mercy and nobility¾my hands as my stools will be liquid, I will have become lesser than my mother once again¾then I will relinquish my control.  I will have to satisfy myself with the pretty sound of the ice cream truck and the laughing farting children running toward it, imagining the tall swirls of pride they run for and how they adumbrate hours of similarly shaped happiness when they sit above their easeful kingdoms and Merdia deigns to point them to the way.

45.        Merdia's blessings are not for those who delude themselves that humanity is anything but merde, who prefer to think we are obelisks and satellites.  They will continue on their fluorescent mint-fresh metallic path, lacking the light of waste and the sewer’s joyous inspiration.  We lovers of Merdia know we exist by accident, we sit in heaps of ourselves and swirl down dark tunnels of unknowing to the sea.  We know the transience of Merdia's graces is our transience, the fleeting glimpse of her creations the glimpse of ours.  She reminds us daily that we toil to turn merde to merde, for no reward but the joy of turning.  Merdia, our pleasure, goddess, love.