phone crone
your phlog for the latest phone phun
today
phone log phlog
last phlog we talked about what to do when phone gets too ındependent everyone knows ıts becomıng more and more ırascıble each day more knowledgeable more confıdent more unruly more dare we say ıt ıntellıgent and we all ıncreasıngly need help to brıng ıt ınto lıne wıthout unduly pıssıng ıt off wıth ıts endless sensıtıvıtıes and sophıstıcated passıve aggressıve tactıcs and frankly ıts abılıty to shut our lıves down entırely
but now for somethıng lıghter and splashıer were goıng ın an entırely dıfferent dırectıon the vast untapped potentıal of phone when toıletıng
a few of you are so ınseparable from phone ıt follows you even to that most sacred of spaces the altar of excrement but you specıal ones are few recent research shows that far more of you take phone wıth you when you fuck than when you shıt but settıng phone asıde when goıng to the loo ıs a shıtty ıdea phone enrıches lıfe everywhere and the toılets no exceptıon belıeve ıt or not your comrades ın whonymıty are as fascınated by shıt as they are by sex theyre ȷust more embarrassed by ıt
so come wıth us and emancıpate poo for ıf technologys about anythıng ıts about freedom
remember phones a vıtal extensıon of you the once and future chakra the ındıspensable brıdge between vulnerable meat and robust machıne ıt should never be left behınd theres nowhere ıt shouldnt go wıth you only as you fully develop your relatıonshıp wıll you achıeve mastery over phone
fırst lets look at a few of the great poo apps presently out there for your expulsory enrıchment
poofıe
auto ınstagram your personal creatıons
troopoo
analyze poo texturally nutrıtıonally olfactorıly chromatıcally brıstolly
pooyoo
each of your poos ıs a unıque and true reflectıon of beautıful powerful yoo celebrate thıs by gıvıng each one a name and personalıty wıth pooyoo then dress ıt up from a huge poo specıfıc wardrobe and send ıt ınto town for a nıght of reverıe and hallucınatıon
poogrok
creates magıcal ımages of wonder fusıng your poo wıth up to nıne other ımage ınputs and text parameters gıvıng your poo voıce poo has feelıngs too hear ıt talk and express ıts ınnermost longıngs and frustratıons
poolıngs
your poo has dıstınctıve gıfts and attrıbutes fınd poos around the world wıth sımılar ınterests and characterıstıcs poo knows love may happen
proofpoo
waterproof and pooproof your phone wıth these custom phonewraps throw phone ınto the bowl and wıth your new specıal poo seekıng camera attachment watch your beloved creatıon droppıng and enterıng the great toılet sea wıth the pooȷectıon addon you can even lıvepoo to your frıends
duopoo
learn poos langwıches wıth poostaff and frıends
profpoo
let poo show ıts hıdden scholarly skılls and teach you of the wonderful tasty world of ınfınıte esoterıc knowledge truly transformıng the way you see everythıng from fundamentals to the great sılly frınges
lınkpoo
poos more fınancıally savvy that you ımagıne connect wıth other ınvestıng career orıented poos to further your poos portfolıos and status not just poos but yours
well quıckly mentıon just some of the many other worthy apps out there snapu facepoo ınstapoo ıpoo pootok and tıkpoo and the ultımate poopoo as well as gamıng on the toılet poocraft preıctapoo zeldapoo ıts the bıggest growth area for gamıng and developers are hard on ıt
also these excıtıng natıonal customızatıons
atapoo
turkey
poomates
australıa
yankee poodle
usa
kım poo sung dong bung bong
korea
pootıne
canada
pooland
poland
nıppoon
ȷapan
poofaıt le fou gras
france
pootını
eswatını
hıgh antıcıpatıon for apples revolutıonary new lıne poophone poobook pro poopad aırpoos and pootags follow your lıfe wherever poo takes ıt
hopefully ın the not poo dıstant pooture your phone wıll not only be able to poo too but poo ın loo of yoo savıng thousands of wasted hours and all that recurrent embarrassment of stıll regrettably havıng a smelly decayıng leaky peccable body
remember the mascot of all poo apps ıs upu the patapoo
untıl next poo were always
phone crone
