galadap gets the job
galadap and mamare sitting in the talkatorium discussing whether to hire an ornamental hermit mamas recently returned from the endives where she was fishing for the fossilized souls of sixth century apophatics and the trip was a stunning success and mamas in a rare great mood capable of conversation and undistracted by the invisibles and the principles and governance of the amusement parks of milith and lephistopheles
which lawn though do you think it should inhabit cowchim suggests the northwestnorth queermendungjia suggests the northnorthwest wangsiri suggests the westnorthnorth tubeetu suggests the westwestnorth
eastnortheast
but nothing suggests the eastnortheast
ım suggesting its suggestion being suggested in the lack of suggestings
a kind of apomancy hm
brumy could apply
brumyll scare our intruders
they cant see it
you think brumys your imaginary friend but thats imaginary brumys as real as bernardine soares
weve had this debate before
well ive got some conjunctio to attend to ill leave things in your capable hands
do you want to at least interview the shortlist
ill just get rid of them if i dont like them
and mamas off like a zome or a fluffiness or a gravid fomentress or a braigetoír or a bewrayed pergola or the hegassen at a harrying frolic
wanted
ornamental hermıt
at the house of mama
eastnortheast lawn access only
room and herbs and potions
random stipends possible for sundry services
must have a minimum of three centuries experience in uselessness and absurdity
unparalleled intelligence creativity wit vitality and scatological prowess required
other than this house of mamas an equal oppootunity employer
and doesnt distinguish based on sex gender religion race ethnicity class age sanity ability langwich species aesthetics sentience politics physicality or existence but only on criteria unnameable unconscious subjective unknowable
galadap likes the ad so much
she decides to apply herself
dear esteemed outcats at the house of mama
ım an outcat of outcats and ı do dada like mama ım funnier than the nınth and thırteenth century combined and ım so past intelligence its forgotten it exists ı shit 81 times a day and each is a delırıous perfectıon that seızes the apple of clarıty and floods the world with the snobbıshness of madness we are the creators of the cosmoses behind ın above and below the cosmos and the ıncarnate dream of energy that turns the numinous into unconcerned anarchıc grounds of deluging eyes ı am the polyprefixes of all substantives they are the omnisuffixes of all copulatives we are the panaffixes of the destruction of grammar syntax meaning and langwıch
yours sincerely
galadap
she gets an interview and decides to wear the chromatic liquid buffoonery she picked up in pondicherry during an archaic monsoon
lovely outfit says galadap as galadap enters the interviewatoria
why thanks so much says galadap my dıno picked it out for me
oh you have a dıno exclaims galadap scribbling in her notebook furiously
ı think every selfrespecting ornamental hermıt should
are you selfrespecting though
to the extent respects a function of spectacular yes
and to the extent its not
ah theres the grub
havent washed my hair in months
no behind you walking by the window
theyre everywhere lets say youre doing your ornamental hermıt thing in the eastnortheast and twentytwo grubs descend from an afflıction tell us about a time you havent what are your three greatest devıancıes give us an example of how you dont do anything describe how youve maliciously and gleefully destroyed a team if you disagree with someone what kind of shıt do you annihilate them with and in what manner
ıd apply the golden ratıo but not the golden rule divide the grubs by seven golden pottos extracted from some golden maidenhair subtract a goldeneye pıe and eat the remainder with some golden handcuffs
when we fıre you how will you respond
ı have a sauce for that
and galadap and galadap gab it up in the interviewatoria until they smell mama on the eleventh floor and absquatulate to the absurdatory
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