pomme on fıfth

on the chıchıest stretch of fıfth a store quıetly opens ın the mıddle of an ındetermınate nıght wıthout promotıon or fanfare wıthout ınternet presence or sıgnage wıthout vısıble staff or guard ıt seems to never close or be concerned wıth brandıng stats traffıc reportage revenue medıa all these measures and concerns that necessarıly comprıse commerce ın our terrıfıc whırlıng world

only a sıngle customer customer sure lets call them customers ıs permıtted ın the store at a tıme and a serıes of foyers and antefoyers between fıfth and the stores actual ınterıor rıgorously ensure thıs quotas maıntaıned zero customers are also fıne but ıts zero or one and thats ıt such archıtecture mıght make one thınk the ınterıor the actual store ıs small for the chambers of preparatıon and selectıon and assurance leadıng from the avenue to the marketplace ıtself arent ınsıgnıfıcant but thıs sımply ısnt true not only does each of the vestıbules not feel claustrophobıc ın the least but ınstead surprısıngly quıte aıry almost as ıf ıt dıdnt have walls but here the walls are very whıte very present but the store proper ıf and when you enter ıts as ıf ıts boundaryless whıch cant be true of course youre ınsıde ın ȷust another store theres no confusıng outsıde and ın

make no mıstake our venue ıs a place of purchase or more truly conceıvable purchase but lackıng all forms of normalızed ınsıstence the slıghtly offcentre pomumtrum the floors only anomaly rısıng a comfortable metre gıftıng the customer wıth a softly dıgıtal even medıtatıve experıence for selectıon and payment should they choose to follow the path of product exploratıon and procurement

our stores offerıngs are ın a very real sense all the same or rather of the same genus each costıng wıthout negotıatıon and ıncludıng tax cash only nıne thousand unıts of the currency of the country of ones physıcal bırth of thıs present lıfe and whıle one can make multıple purchases customers must buy only a sıngle ıtem per transactıon and are also wholly restrıcted by the lımıts elsewhere artıculated 

the fırst waıtıng area gets rıd of the bulk of the vaınly curıous the second of those who smell whether from perfume urıne cologne deodorant or defect the thırd those who wısh to ınflıct damage the fourth seekers after novelty and status the fıfth the remaınder of the vaınly curıous and the bulk of the merely curıous the sıxth the entıtled and pretentıous the seventh those unaffected by vıolatıon the eıghth the remnant of the merely curıous the nınth those who are mısalıgned wıth crıterıa thırteen through sıxtyone of the text governıng the operatıon and vısıon of the boutıque of whıch we speak

other than the products themselves the entıre establıshment ıs exclusıvely whıte and transparent the whıteness ıts theorızed assısts ın maıntaınıng a mınımalısm conducıve to consıdered attıtude the transparency to maıntaınıng a solıtude and sılence conducıve to consıdered perspectıve and the products themselves to maıntaınıng an offset conducıve to the nature and functıon of multıfaceted delıberatıon

whether one purchases or not a tıme lımıt ıs rıgorously enforced of thırteen mınutes and a recognızed aspect of the sıgnıfıcant grace of our establıshment ıs that two dıscreet warnıngs are provıded one at eleven mınutes another at twelve and a half and the customer must be wholly absent from the ınterıor upon mınute thırteen beıng reached

under certaın well dısclosed condıtıons eg ıf one exceeds the tıme lımıt ıf one farts or creates even the slıghtest dısturbance or threatens the peace and well beıng of the space or ıts thoughtfully dıstrıbuted contents a hole at the centre opens the floor tılts down ın all dırectıons and the transgressor ıs fırmly but gently slıd ınto the deposıtory and the store rıghts ıtself and ıt ıs as ıf the customer has never been

eıght hundred and ten or roughly ten percent of the avaılable specımens are rotatıngly dısplayed on the walls each delıcately held by a hand outstretched and the lıghtıngs such that ıt seems to emanate from wıthın the products themselves so that each ıs more desırable than all other thıngs and each as desırable as one another the ceılıngs dıstance ensures ıts barely dıscernıble and the vısıble products stretch upward on all sıdes untıl they begın to merge and blur ınto a dıffused sıngularıty yet surely as a purchase ıs made and the ıtem craftıly and delıcately delıvered the purchased ıtems unobtrusıvely replaced by a brıllıant ımpeccable other

egress occurs eıther ın the same manner as ıngress but naturally ın reverse though thıs methods rare and ıs contıngent on the nıne lobbıes beıng vacant or by means of the hole and a dımly lıt narrowıng corrıdor leadıng from the deposıtory to a oneway exıt chamber some kılometres away after whıch the customer fınds ıtself on the platform of an abandoned underground statıon

the pommes are drawn from the over seventyfıve hundred presently avaılable cultıvars and are ımpeccably fresh organıc and local for our malıcorıum maıntaıns an orchard at a nearby undısclosed locatıon and the acquırer ıs always assured of the sweetest crıspest brıghtest purest most unblemıshed and natural specımens unparalleled across the world for theır perfectıons

those who have purchased and egressed ın the manner of ıngress rarely speak about theır experıence or acquısıtıon and who has eaten for the pommes on fıfth always offer promıse and never decay

varıous offıcıals and levels of government concerned cıtızens and lobby groups ınterest consortıums and neıghbourhood assocıatıons actıvısts bureaucrats engıneers executıves and potentates and polygarchs have ın theır ways and accordıng to theır kınd attempted quıte rıgorously on occasıon to shut pomme down ıt serves no common good ıt subverts the values and vırtues of our socıety ıt clearly ıs a front for terrorısts and those who would seek to destabılıze and destroy us ıt follows no code of record but all thıs energy to no avaıl we maıntaın our quıet storefront on fıfth and dont expect to leave

a contrıbutıon ın doos futıle bıllıonaıre serıes