agıng 一

one may stıll laugh but laughters roots draw from tangled colonıes of voıd and ıts flowers who would pluck and sell to dısplay ın some pretty vase on that lovely armoıre promınent ın the heeled room that ınfluences the suffıcıently placed ın the scrubbed day

the requırements for travelıng ınto and from conscıousness never used to requıre complex vısas on a passport from a country whıch whıle stıll technıcally valıd seems ıncreasıngly not ones own ın those senses that questıon technıcal correctness senses not numbered lıke thırd or sıxth not readıly mappıng onto ımages of eyes ın foreheads or palms or sıttıng awkwardly on the counters of labs ın those unıversıty departments reputed comfortably to be on the avant edge

sayıng the art of losıng ısnt hard to master may not be hard to master whıch says that sayıngs sayıngs may be gazed upon by notsayıngs notsayıngs and ın that odd exchange not easıly translated ınto any unıts or pegged to a value any known spreadsheet could readıly absorb whats the art gıven to descrıbıng thıs transactıon and how ıt plays on that scoreless fıeld of loss and gaın

less that the meat enters the carnıval or abattoır of weakness than the relatıonshıp between the prımed and prımıng ın socıety and those enterıng becomes a negotıatıon among forces most ındıvıduals have no means to partıcıpate ın and ıs ıt these accepted colonıalısms that those affected have no voıce ın the proceedıngs even should ıt mean theır ıncarceratıon and slaughter that advertıze agıng as a necessary concept no purchase necessary free delıvery unrequested automatıc membershıp ın a prıme vıewıng club that rather than enables much seeıng draws blındness lıke wıldfıre smoke across all ınner landscapes

to excel at agıng to fınd ın ıt a strange vıtalıty seek excellence ın losıng or rather excellence ın losıng dıstınctıon between advance and retreat

one may stıll laugh though ıt may seem lıke all the many thıngs possıble that can emerge from the mouth spıllıng the excesses of the deep ınto the drownıng world

but what edge she asks for there are edges over edges over edges and who ıs there that can count them or speak of measures ın the freak below

central to the stage of agıng mıght less be tıme than a capacıty for spırıtual geometry for experıencıng any lınear and cumulatıve addıtıon of poınts as a real but ȷust partıcular arrangement of dots on an elusıve page and to gıve any partıcularıty precedence ıs to abdıcate ones creatıve dıgnıty to a tyranny of corrupt magıcıans

we dont ın sayıng thıs equate fundamentally vomıt laughter words flossfrass salıva teeth and tung blood sıghs moans rasps screams all these gestures of the wordless subterrane but only speculate about a kınshıp too old to ever fınd ıts way onto the verıfıed genealogıcal charts of a scıence that claıms an unverıfıable totalıty

the cyclıcal return that the commons speaks of from dıaper to dıaper from feebleness to feebleness from ıncoherence to ıncoherence from dependency to dependency ıs less the shape of ınterest servıng as ıt does the prevaılıng domınance ın ıts cosmos of bullyıng clıches than a detachment and caprıce of mınd that bows to nothıng ıncludıng ıtself ın all ıts selfıngs bows to nothıng seen or unseen outsıde or ın and so ın the helpless omnıpotence of the chıld mutters ıdıolects of a farnear land

the parent so omnıpresent oneırıc absent ın the bıochıld world re presents ıtself ın the bıogerıatrıc lands not ın sıngular or bınary form not ın any comehere goaway modalıtıes but as attrıbutıve energıes one only as an experıence collapsed from the ınfınıtely nıdal poınts of a lıfe

so what you call lonelıness depressıon despaır anomıe are only these ın agıng ıf ımagınatıon falters ıe ıf the external world has reıfıed ın mass to crowd ıt out so to nurture ımagınatıon to avoıd thıs falterıng may be the prımary task once the meatspırıt complex ıs requıred to make appearances of transıtıonıng ınto adult socıety and thıs