lets imagine a mathematician

lets imagine a mathematician that we construct not from human society according to the present dominant model but words  poets and politicians tortuously create alternative realities from their desires and also shouldnt we  whatever we are  make mathematicians from ours? for arent our desires arithmetic and by entering them and listening to the hidden voices of numbers whisper not the truth but truths of their desires we return to seeking opennesses toward the numbers of which we are comprised and while not ours somehow possess us?

as we manufacture a biography for our odd and even friend we notice its preeminent trait is a kind of nonexistence we find difficult to properly classify  it might have a rare disease maybe even if were fortunate one not yet invented  it might belong to those books about nonbeing in which nonbeing fails  it might have been diagnosed with any of those endless pathologies routinely being created by established experts to justify themselves and suppress spirit   but its not this attribute that primarily interests us  as the crux of a matter is rarely found in preeminence but shades  where few go to escape the glare of names   and so we find our linguistic creature of number lounging under a sycomore tree with a bunch of leadmunching phoebastria immutabilis smoking whatever you wish to put in its mouth and brooding on the personalities of numbers through the poetic functions of their names

its name  though number in its names shifty  might be  

and in its mind strings like lets not attempt to unite with the godhead in the manner of the mystics of old but zero with the zerohead and death toos a number

its devoted a universe of nights to studying the masters of math and knows they cancel one another like a fine equation  for isnt a mathematician like a poet a maker of patterns and isnt mathematics the art of giving the same name to different things while giving different names to the same thing and cant we say as truthfully as truth is said its the science of skillful operations with concepts and rules invented just for the purpose of skillful operations and would we be wrong to postulate it  like any core human quest  is a subject in which we never know what were talking about nor whether what were saying is true and to have faith that the more games we study the better   a subspecialty of fiction  a mythological and social construct  a dispensability and body of falsehoods not talking about anything real   and a mathematician a blind person in a dark room looking for a black cat who isnt there?

our hyperspherical collegiality applies the ancient science of nymhematology to number  the res ors roes ozes and os in zero  that o of no beginning or end at its end curving to meet an end of a beginning  that z  forming an oz  wærloga of empty illusion  thaumaturge of destiny and mind  the one we fear to consult but consult we must in times of greatest duress  for if we neglect this duty it comes unbidden and this unentreated agitation might be history but hardly wisdom

zero exists most fully among the numbers and ones a radiant nothing

it sees the no in one  the ive in five  neins in nines   it bumbles toward the creation of a logic in which two and two make six or nineteen  not in the manner of despots or avatars of dereliction to justify subjugation but for the failure thats a multitude of freedoms

i walk into the valley of number and fear no counting

for thy gaffe and bawd are with me

knowing that two to be two too must be nottwo

and what it is is most explicitly not itself

while what its not manifests infinitely

and 

of inestimable repositories  no compass within bound or far or near  dediagnosed and semelessly vitrescent  trace hieratic hollows in shadowed absences