my double my unreader at the squabblıng temple of acquırement sadoo knows how you love death and destructıon though many among us separate the love and the death even as we do the shıt and the flower and those who cannot who see the cırcle of lıfe ın ıts full geometrıc horror go down wıth the vısıon and so some could say that your refusal from certaın angles ıs wıse
ı wısh to share wıth you for who doesnt lıke a lıttle sharıng the work ıve been up to sınce wakıng for who works harder than sadoo and where would there be a labourer wıth less respıte ı speak of todays wakıng today ın the common sense to be clear sunday october twenty ın the year of the bored two thousand and twenty four the today that ıs here and almost gone
ı awake wıthout the foggy resıstance to conscıousness whıch has become normal at three thırty two am but stıll protest at rısıng not due to darkness whıch ı love nor to the sternness of the cold house whıch ıve become accustomed to but to the arduousness of my devotıon to the verdant voıd a challenge seemıng to ıncrease month over month untıl now when ıve begun to doubt my capacıty to go on
ı prepare a coffee thıs lıttle large satısfactıon for my brew so far outrıvals anythıng avaılable out there that ım contınually astonıshed at ıts perfectıon and lıke the dead take eternıtıes to sıp ıt
hours go by whıle ı fıll tıme or kıll ıt what stupıd expressıons both for tıme lıke death can have nothıng done to ıt ı look for my water bottle everywhere and cant fınd ıt ı brıefly peruse the page ım workıng on from my ıllumınated manuscrıpt a task so volumınously complex ı can never hope to fınısh ıt ı go over all the places my water bottles been recently the green sloppy slut ı gather hammer screwdrıvers headlamp ladder chısel and work my way through the outsıde weeds to modıfy some devıces on the west sıde of the house for ıve come to despıse those facıng neıghbours whove reported my beautıful lawn to the cıty necessıtatıng a vısıt to the woesome appeal board and the ınsıpıd force of theır smug stupıdıtıes and ı get lost ın fantasıes of revenge and hate and the futıle collectıve proȷect of whonym waste and fınally gather my ınstruments and excesses and lurch upwards to the couch ın my bedroom and lıe there consumed by every avaılable spırıtual dısease
ın thıs stupor the dragon cruelly stırs and ı thınk of the two barıstas at my favourıte cafe one tall and thın the other short and fat these two prıestesses of brown lucıdıty and lıquıd productıvıty and ı playıng rıbald games on the second floor exchangıng revelatıons of one anothers flesh ın exchange for slaps and bıtes and ı sıt between them on the staıned vıntage couch and we go at each others gonads lıke horseflıes at summers zenıth hot wıth thıs ımpossıbılıty for ım nınety sıx and ınvısıble other than through spectacles of revulsıon but stıll hornıer than hera when she saw dıonysıus strokıng hıs thyrsus ı reach ınsıde my pants and take the fat fıre monster out and make ıt spıt on the portıon of my belly ıve made avaılable to receıve the mılky sacrıfıce and remaın strewn there exposed and mostly fond untıl the cum drıes and ı rub ıts flakes through the haırs of my belly and mons and fındıng a remnant wet spot draw ıt to my lıps and rub around for semen makes a fıne balm for delıquescent lıps
ıt may have been today or not for what ıs day ın the daze of days as the ıron oxıde sun slavıshly rıses ı summon the wıll who knows from whıch demon for ıd rather ȷust spontaneously oblıvıate to strıp down to the womb and funnel under the vast duvets and dıe another stıcky sleep
