Hesperia Lingarius Masma Doo wrote the Proper of Saints in 94 days, when incarcerated in the tenth century with only a jar of pickles and the Roman Gradual.
Mr. Ms. Doo (having been subject to numerous sexual transformations throughout his and her life), upon being captivated by the Proprium de Sanctis, immediately realized that in her home century—the twenty-first—sainthood had secretly migrated from religion to art, for it was the artists who mediated between heaven, earth, and hell in modernity; religion had become a relic which mediated only fear—and that very poorly. Augustine, Aquinas, and Mother Teresa are saints no longer … they’ve been replaced by Homer, Bach, and Van Gogh.
Doo, then, in a flurry of medieval inspiration, wrote the true biographies of 81 great saints, along with 12 malfeasances and an introduction that effectively places the religion-art transformation in a historical-philosophical-aesthetic-cultural-linguistic-spiritual context. Upon completion, Doo returned to the third millennium to test some of his and her ideas in the bedrooms, boardrooms, kitchens, and alleys of the human world. To this day, Doo finds her theory gloriously seductive which, as any evolved human knows, is a prime indicator of truth.
The Secular Sadoo is pleased to introduce Doo’s Proper of Saints to its reading public. We will be following the liturgical calendar, publishing each Proper on its proper day throughout 2012.
