what can i write about?

i cant write about that because im this

cant write about there because im here

cant write about you because im i

cant write about then because im now

cant write about reason because im mad

cant write about magenta because im fuchsia

cant write about fucking because im celibate

cant write about rich because im not

cant write about fungi because im whonym

cant write about i because im noti

cant write about noti because its noti

cant write about god because it doesnt exist

cant write about what i know best because i dont know anything best

cant write about what i know because i dont know if i know anything

cant write about cant write about because i cant write about it

but here i am

doing it

day 48

i find myself in a dark room with a tiny green luminescent dot and a thin large partial rectangular frame of white light behind which i know are a group of the sexually insane   i am shitting but without that great satisfaction of a full void   my cat is near but unwith me

i think selfpreservation while seemingly eminently sensible is a fundamentally idiotic principle by which to live and until whonyms realize this they continue accelerating along a rickety pier toward a precipice of unmitigating horrors

i receive more satisfaction from this thought than my shit and to avoid meeting the group i climb into a bathtub and wash the remaining fecal matter from my asshole  applying soap and fomenting up the hole with my right index finger drawing out some stubborn clods clinging to the hot home of the anal cavity and draining the brown froth down

the members are at different stages of arousal and they differ also in their proficiencies and all these factors comprise sonics that  if one appreciates atonality and disjunction  befit my present rites

the lakes let down like hair and speaks in the tongues of untrained angels and i think nowhere have the sophomores of semaphores been more than halfwise in their fallen dormitories  but i prefer another thought and tell them so and sadly realize resentment is the only omnipresence and war the only god

some heirloom makes me want to join them but a little turdette not quite drained speaks from its selective mutism and makes a case i shouldnt disconsider  i ask it to join forces with me and we briefly form a theatre in the service of the unmentionable

the sexually insane are really going at it now and i want to leave the dark room with the little lights and the talking scat and the memory of a disappointing void but fear the heaps of meat i must negotiate   i want to see the cat who blinks at me and whose desire to join with the lake stands between us inhibiting our intimacy

a plane passes over full of hacking whonyms on its way to a sterilized morgue and i know im accused of the abominable and the limbs outside drag me into their unspeakable orgies and ill not find myself again

the destinies of humans and images are parallel

imagination abducted me in normalstorg when i was two  as language enters  and being held captive all these decades has made me love and justify its tyrannies

should the human heart be taken seriously? if the myriad battling peoples agree on anything its yes! from musicians to entrepreneurs to correctionofficers to legalassistants to members of the angolafarm gatedcommunity   but a few of times deranged dingleberries are uncertain  chang doos uncertain  doo takes it seriously to the extent it acknowledges its there  like artichokes or spaceheaters or confinement or flatology  but everythings there  or here  hard to say exactly  but another way to state the question is  how wittys the abyss? what are the masks it wears over its wit? what are the passwords to access the wit? how seriously should that access be taken and how the passwords distributed?

going against the advice of almost all the inside voices i go to an official centre for the clinical diagnosis by the normals of a notnormal and after waiting for seven hours and paying nineteen hundred dollars and being prodded by pokers and sceptres which jab out of very white walls and filling out 316 pages of forms and questionnaires and providing two litres of blood and having my fingerprints taken and my retinæ scanned i receive an output that lists my illnesses as

palilalia

graphorrhea

phonological disorder

paragraphia

schizophasia

unspecified communication disorder

dyscalculia

pervasive developmental disorder

logorrhea

paraphasia

apraxia dysprosody

phonemic collapse disorder

mixed expressive receptive language disorder

semantic pragmatic disorder

hyperlexia

para supraalexithymia

pancluttering

unspecified disorders

dysgraphia

anomicaphasia

specific language impairment

general language disorder

it says page one of twentytwo but the other twentyone pages dont show and i ask for twentyonetwentytwoth of my money and time back but a hyperroomba sucks me up and spits me out giving thanks profusely and sodomizes me with an attachment

the novel i step in is not the novel i stand in

primitive  weird  odd  even  semiperfect  perfect  abundant  quasiperfect  friendly  deficient  composite  highlyabundant  superabundant  highlycomposite  superiorhighlycomposite  excessive  natural  untouchable  amicable  sociable  lychrel  cardinal  ordinal  nominal  whole  rational  complex  real  prime  positive  negative  abstract  linguistic  naïve  seed  kin  palindromic  rational  complex  hypercomplex  irrational  transcendental  constructible  algebraic  computable  recursive  transfinite  hyperreal  infinite  finite  aleph  beth  concrete  imaginary  superreal  surreal  infinitesimal  deterministic  noncomputable  nominal  counting  complete  spherical  topological  fuliginous  random  cyclical  projective  definable  delusional  principal  perpendicular  unified  robust  collapsed  smooth  inverted

dear mathematics   oh greatest unity of reality and abstraction  oh apparent order and film of logic  oh complexified accumulation and mystifying gargantuanity  oh conjectures of amphetamines   we in novel seek  through arcane voids  to emulate your pancosmic attributes and  like labourers in judge holdens epilogue  implement also holes in the infinite desert of holes for yea we ourselves are deserts and made of holes and in nothing we in novel and you are one

the venom of hyperbolic doubt always finds its efficacy

that everything is mud

little is known about the farmer’s attitude toward nature

little is known about the bus driver's attitude toward driving & buses

little is known about the lunatic’s attitude toward madness

little is known

here in the irrevocable politics of distortion enigma misprision blindness deafness irresponsibility foolishness injustice …

to live mostly in the impolitic of the body’s crepuscular hazes

the drug of choice is horror

heads

it hangs above its body as if the two organisms are unacquainted   almost as big as a pumpkin its face pushed and squeezed in so many directions the result is less a face than a validation of anarchy

flecked goldorange glasses so huge the face behind  of a buggypretty sort  is swallowed into a consumption of eyeware

what’s the price of boredom? how much is it worth?

in the markets of a lonely silent weary world

in recent business news  habitat for humanity and crimes against humanity have merged   it’s being debated whether the new name is crimes against habitat  habitat for crimes  humanity against humanity  or humanity for crimes

humour is the condition of radical receptivity  of being comprised primarily of holes

the difference between a conservative and liberal is the kinds of technology required for the body to maintain itself in technology

an apotropaic disoscitant meets an insomnalent djab

to cast down the image of the god of the whites

now enshrined in the distributed homes of the rainbow

the apocalyptic visions of writers like william blake and mary shelley  who imagined that a radical aesthetic might destroy the same dull round and generate a new jerusalem  steadily gave way to ends being nothing more than reminders that we must survive

far from climate change prompting writers to question whether the mode of human existence that altered the planet as a living system should be extinguished to make way for other forms of life  the threat to human existence and the witnessing of the sixth mass extinction event has enabled a contraction of the human imagination not merely to the human species  but to humanity in its urban affluent hyperconsuming and globally subsuming form

by 2027 the world has accelerated to such an extent that the wikipedia homepage in the news section  instead of posting on average two new items per day  typically posts 29 new items

a recent sampling –

• gunman kills 1328 in jakarta mosque
• civil war truce called again in st. louis
• pazakhstan air flight 3033 crashes off the coast of hawaii  canaryair air flight 292 in the himalayan foothills  yourewonderfulair flight 12 in the south pacific  savecash!!!air flight 401 in tawargha  nudist air flight 69 in the black forest  all 2791 passengers and crew are killed as well as 111 on the ground and sea
• donald trump elected to fourth term amidst wedding rumours with putin
• canada annexed
• africa goes bankrupt while largely underwater
• australia proclaims itself finally ‘purified’
• terrorists destroy taj mahal eiffel tower big ben the hermitage the golden gate bridge and tokyo skytree simultaneously
• facegooglsoft buys world bank and cia
• thai president admits to years of sex with underaged robots
• mandarin defeats english for the ninth consecutive year in the world chess championship  the international poetry knockout  and the global barista olympics
• 7 new synthetic elements manufactured and immediately declared endangered
• earth’s elite trillionaire club buys moon
• san francisco and los angeles complete negotiations for merger   city to be known as sanlos or frang or sos isces or laneles or nosanan or sangisco or losco or cisco or costco
• dharavi attacks bollywood and declares martial law
• the toledo terrible turds defeat the crawfordville ball propellants in the superbowl
• punxsutawney phil wins the nobel peace prize
• tesla announces the world’s first fully plastic functional plastic-eating whale
• yiz biggo  driving a 9-in-1 hewlett packard 28000zz  wins the triple crown
• saudia arabia eradicates all homosexuals women lessthanbillionaires and heathen
• united nations officially changes its name to disunited what?
• the giraffe siberian tiger african elephant 21 species of birds 7 species of amphibians 13 species of reptiles 3492 species of plants 9420 species of insects 11301 species of fungi declared extinct in the monsanto-iucn weekly roundup
• doped olympic bronze medalist walks the english channel on garbage
• nasa sends florida into outer space
• pope selenium i commits seppuku in popemobile in porto alegre
• paving of brazilian rainforest complete
• alberta wildfire grows to 1630000 square kilometres   two canadian provinces declared ‘non-existent’
• gunman  after blowing up the stolen mona lisa and starry night  kills 2497 in prague restaurant
• disney brings mickey mouse to life   last seen 40 metres tall and 5 dimensions and heading toward manhattan   usaf says strikes are proving ineffective

version 14.E 149774c^c  inoti’s recent and current release of atmanbrahman  by a phantom cell of an underground spiritual alliance stream

while some have attempted to find relations between inoti and inaughty  the virtual front of {         }

no documentation has been found supporting these assertions

lists of imaginary book/piece titles  like conjured band names  are sufficient works on their own   a bibliography with infinite references but its only substance itself   perhaps with abstracts tables of contents bibliographical data forewords prefaces lists of illustrations and occasionally with commentary reviews further spawned titles … the book proper lost its existence dubious perhaps never born   a borgesian fantasy for sure (although perhaps borges collapsed into itself  a black hole of babel) but one we’d like to see more fully developed – particularly with a singular human devoting a consumed life to such a pursuit   part of it is that with all the present & accelerating excess  a little minimalism doesn’t necessarily provide any balance  but at least might be a blurry picture of a tiny mirror with some light in its depths (a star? candle? phone?) in the midst of excessive infinities of interstellar linguistic space. here are some starter titles –

operating manual for hermits and mystics

(in partial fulfillment of iso ⁰√0)

penis  rites for silence and jiǔ gè zìmǔ (song)

pin this quanta to the wind (poetry)

a cosmic welter of helter skelters (children’s graphic novel)

blerry chossoms in hopencagen where chogger-blicks go to thelfie semselves (a YA book)

noti  a naughty not i (erotica)

dial or howl an owlodile (children’s nonsense verse)

hachimoji dna  an autohagiography (from deep within a scientific mind)

autoexiling  a precarian handbook (small press bust)

a holy oily body  leonora carrington and the magic of irresolution (thoroughly researched and moderately insightful scholarly work)

fuck your gonads (queer theory)

insurgents of the cognitariat (academic bestseller  cited everywhere)

why be a salaried slave who suffers when you can be crazy? (self-help)

light does not become them any longer (novel)

dan nada can ad a cad (unclassified)

eudaimonia pragmata adiaphora astathmēta anepikrita doxai adoxastous aklineis and akradantous  plumbing obscurity for irreal answers from the chicken soul of a misplaced harena (unclassified)

today i gather the favourite heads from their bodies on the stuffed sidewalks and put them in my empty bathtub at the end of day. they still blink the heads but the sounds have stopped and i blink back at them. we blink like cats and advance greens. i rearrange them so that the smallest are at the top and one tries to bite me and i throw it in the toilet but it doesn’t flush and is just stuck there like a gigantic poo. quite the day it says and says i’ll help you and disassembles right there into its constituent parts and though it takes eight or nine flushes i get it down. the others watch with interest through the mirror on the ceiling and some try to talk. i see that biting head drew blood and i hold my arm over the heads and drip on them. i can tell some like this and i think of putting my hands in again, i want to please them, when the doorbell rings and it is the eyeball merchant and i wrap my wrist in some underwear and we chat like friends and he inspects the products and we transact to each of our slight displeasure. the heads themselves now, with nothing to see and having given up on making sounds, just exist like art in a basement and staircases and i think of getting rid of them but take showers at the neighbour’s and the smells a bit much as they decay but the skulls are nice and eventually i take baths with them and play with them like older children do with duckies or young ones with their poo

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