welcome aboard this morning were pleased youve chosen to travel with fukus airways and as a member of death alliance we welcome you and if you havent signed up we encourage you to join and reap its many benefits our travelling time to porto de untersoma is five hours twenty one minutes and thirteen seconds at an altitude of 11000 metres and a cruising speed of 865 kilometres per hour a few notes for the trip first the seating arrangement of this aircraft is based on an algorithm roughly reflecting life and for this reflection fukus is justifiably proud while proprietary competitive secrets prohibit sharing details the general principles of the algorithm are sufficiently well known randomness wealth chance wealth luck randomness wealth that no one should be surprised that absolutely no relationship exists between where people are sitting and their intelligence talent or worth and those who attribute any merit to their being in a particular seat row or section are wholly deluded imbeciles
secondly sorry for the delay job requirements demand i pay attention during takeoff i wanted to tell you briefly about a recent sexual incident i was flying from nuuk to varanasi with first officer klitty who ive had the hots for ever since she karaoked at last years christmas party its a long flight and nine hours into it you know what its like i couldnt take it anymore start making cockpit jokes joysticks mammory night camisoles the usual to which she responded to my surprise and delight with a ribald enthusiasm which flew far beyond my fantasies unbuttoning everything that could be unbuttoned cutting the rest with her designer mons trimming scissors spreading the finest marmalade across her magnificent bosom she greased my joystick and we went at the tasks as madly as school children so much so we almost flew into russian airspace haha
oh how time flies the only true flier really i hope none of you have been too bored in my absence watching the inane entertainment fukus foists on you in your purchased personal claustrophobia half the size of a coffin but im back while you probably havent noticed the person beside you partly because your lazy empty eyes have been gorilla glued to the cliches on the screen mere centimetres from your overpriced face partly because you dont notice anything the chances your neighbour closer to you than your spouse bulging into your violated privacy jowls jowling next to you snoring like a banshee the septuagenarian whos learned to do nothing with its free time than play geometry blast and read infantile romances the chances that theyre unworthy in any meaningful sense of taking up space however briefly on the planet are very to extremely high and id ask that everyone now take a furtive glance to their left and right all around them actually stare just stare at each other and absorb this essential information
that well dressed strikingly handsome confident thing stuffing itself with forced cruelly incarcerated tortured and slaughtered mammal & downing the pretentious vino a few rows in front behind the curtain that veil of capitalism to briefly wax poetic important sexed surrounded obscenely supported its not as if theyre better than you in your woeful obscurity and processed existence an easy enough thought in this comprehensively vulnerable capsule riffing through the callous air it doesnt make any sense of course if you think about it which none of us should do dont get me wrong im certainly not encouraging you to think bad for your health everyone knows this im addressing myself to the great blob in economy now in case it isnt obvious and you richasauruses paying ten times more for your fatty privileges can go to hell
that was a long one i must say apologies again thats all i seem to be doing these days i missed you too which brings me in a roundabout way to my last point i have a confession to make everyone loves a good confession or a bad one its all the same klitty wasnt copilot on that varanasi run shes actually right here beside me on the floor haha a little zolpidem you know were all professionals here can barely see the console so many fluids what do you think maybe we should be ascending but i have to say to be honest for once protocol you know i needed her more than carfentanil needed more than ive become a bit obsessed with de
cant say it know no one minds really mount sikaram officer klitty i know you have too ive about had it too much too much no one minds 4500 haha unconsciousness the greatest aphrodisiac not power as that washbag kissingus said sikaram looks fantastic up close wish you could see 3800 so fast now so peaceful so slow everythings incredibly beautiful all of a sudden i love you all even in business class were only fluid really fluid and gas im your captain transformation the only reali
