let me say agaın what ı thınk of thıs pandemıc and ıf youre wonderıng why ı dont put dots on my ıs go fuck your granny and ıf your grannys dead fınd her corpse you can do ıt ıf youve got anythıng you gonadhead youve got volıtıon and one ends much the same as any other you thınk ıt sucks but thats because you do no ones taught to thınk anymore youre just taught to do and grab and lust and call ıt cıtızenshıp sure ıt sucks but ıt sucked before and ıf you dont get that you should run out rıght now and ınject yourself wıth the bıggest yazoo of covıd you can fınd all thıs pathetıc blabaronı about whonyms how precıous every lıfe ıs all the stupıd talk about equalıty and freedom sure the whıte mans an asshole and the agıng whıte mans the bıggest ass of them all but so ıs everyone else the entıre specıes ıs fucked
all my ıs are are dots and those double ares are eyes
and ıf you dont see that take your orbs out wıth an oyster knıfe
and flush them down the fuckıng toılet
ı began havıng dıffıcultıes wıth lıfe as soon as ı became an adult thıs ıs because theres lıttle alıgnment between the way socıetys organızed and the way ım organızed and ı have hardly any understandıng of the way socıetys organızed ım organızed or the mısalıgnment and ınıtıally ı dıdnt even understand that ı dıdnt understand adultıng has got to be one of the stupıdest terms ın exıstence ıve been an adult for a long tıme so ıve been adultıng as long as ıve been an adult whıch ıs way before anyone saıd adultıng wıthout soundıng lıke an ıdıot whıch everyone stıll does who says ıt and ı do too even though ım makıng fun of ıt not adultıng ın the way socıety says you have to be adultıng ıs not not adultıng ı began to have problems wıth money and housıng sex relatıonshıps frıendshıps you know the basıcs way back even before ı knew ı had problems but my shıts are great theyre always great ıf more whonyms were evaluated on how great theır shıts are and fewer on how much fame and money they have our socıety would make a lot more sense to me based on my shıts ı should be presıdent
ıt was blıssful not understandıng my not understandıng when ı was 17 ı worked ın a small bank branch ın a strıp mall ın the rejectamenta dıstrıct of voıdıckstan ı was the summer student on the teller lıne they call them ambassadors of the customer and dıplomats of capıtal now the only other staff were four fat women ı know youre not supposed to call people fat these days but they were fat ım not sayıng fat ıs a bad thıng that ıts a worse thıng than anythıng else ı love fat ı wısh ı were fat actually perfectly spherıcal and soft so ı could just roll around bumpıng ınto thıngs no eyes eyes just make you crazy no mouth were all eatıng way too much just a bıg sphere and an asshole anyway two were senıor ambassadors of capıtal one was some assıstant somethıng of somethıng and one was the manager though there never seemed anythıng to manage the manger notmanager wouldnt really mıngle wıth the rest of us but the rest of the wretchedness would all somehow flop ınto the lunchroom together lıke ducks and ıd have my cucumber sandwıch and theyd be eatıng donuts and gossıpıng and do lewd jokes and accompanyıng gestures to see ıf ı twıtched had a lıttle wındup toy wıth a gıant dıck that twanged up and down as ıt jerked around the tabletop whıch really got them goıng donuts were everywhere orbıtıng around the room lıke anıme ufos forgotten ones squıshed ınto pockets and bras crawlıng out of the wanton mouse turdınfested cutlery drawer stuffed ın assholes and pussıes and upper maws lıke gobstoppers or wayward benwa balls brıght sugary dısks of cancer and graves donuts were theır relıgıon phılosophy art yoga coıtus
theres only two truths old age and death and they both suck ı mean youth sucks too but you dont realıze youth sucks untıl youre not ın ıt whereas ın old age ıt sucks when youre ın ıt and thats an ımportant dıfference of course ıt helps ıf you go nuts when youre old because then you dont always realıze that ıt sucks whıch ıs a kınd of youth redux that you dont want to read all of us oblıvıously droolıng and poopıng ın our fat dıapers for years untıl fınally the wretched body goes where ıt should have gone ıf ıt had been smart at all when ıt was 27 some whonyms say clıng to lıfe as long as you can but thats ınsane ı say as soon as you know youre goıng down you lıke readıng the news you belıeve ın wısdom you care about the collectıve welfare of whonymıty and ıts future waıt a few months to make sure ıts not a mood then walk ınto one of the government sponsored autosuıcıde booths avaılable everywhere ı know autosuıcıdes redundant but thats part of ıts fun get an ınjectıon of vıagra ıf youre a dood and a pound of lube ıf youre a chıck and cross the border no sex just hardness and wetness and the bıg croak
thıs ısnt a novel but every pıece of wrıtıng needs gıant talkıng cats lıke the one ın bulgakov so wherever ın the world you go ınto an autoes thats the name of the suıcıde death brand ıts the gov tryıng to be cool and faılıng mıserably a gıant talkıng cat greets you takes your money of course ıt costs money and your clothes of course you have to be naked and you go ın wıth a bunch of other old naked people everyone all stıff and lubed the walls play somethıng lıke taylor tool and everyone goes down wıth a good dose of contamınated aır the cat presses a button whıch flushes the bodıes ınto an ınfrastructure that feeds them to the nearest crıtıcally endangered specıes based on algorıthms developed and maıntaıned by the ıcoysapragroeg ınternatıonal consortıum on youth supremacy and populatıon reductıon and get rıd of everythıng gross ıkfjüübüagl ın german dısınfects the booth and automatıcally dıspenses a treat for the cat ıts a wın wın wın wın wın wın wın wın wın
