坦白s base

 

were writing a transcript of a tryalog among poutine peelingam and bidet   real or imagined its hard to tell like everything thats read written dreamt lived and most of what we think   incomprehensible futile pedantic irrelevant arcane pompous misanthropic misinformed deranged   but its important  and for this we shall release it to the galactic nothingness *********

loves euphemized stockholmsyndrome   were held hostage by our feelings then become enamoured of and possessed by them   its not only troo whonyms cant handle too much trooth   we cant handle our hearts or minds or that great fury we systematically try to kill and randomly spasmodically minutely nurture         langwich

my cat  who isnt my cat  has died spiritually from having no other cats to play with   you know those whonyms who withdraw from whonym society  despicable though it is  and surround themselves only with cats or gerbils or mice or roaches   look at what happens to them   its no different with a cat  especially if the cat only interacts with only one other whonym   its like the proverbial two entities on a desert island   everyone becomes mad   of course this is more or less the same as whats happened generally in whonym society   weve isolated ourselves from nature and animals   our pets now are just whonyms in animal form   and so we only have ourselves to play with and are completely collectively nuts  which we dont see because weve withdrawn from anything that might tell us this      its not quite the same as how my cats gone nuts because im saying my cats gone nuts because it doesnt have any of its own kind to play with   my points diversity   we need our own kind and other kinds   my cats nuts because it doesnt have its own kind   whonyms are nuts because they only have their own kind   so its more or less the same

i used to be a lecturer then briefly a prof in communications   i left for the same reason i left the church   i didnt believe in it anymore   weve explained this in biological and communication air   let me give you an example 

i move from babylon to stixvil   stixvils beautiful but stixy   its got all the pros and cons of stixiness   the whonyms are weird in particular ways which makes them lovable and detestable simultaneously   even the best whonyms are lovable and detestable simultaneously but theres a particular config in stixity and you know what im talking about   anyway some lovable detestable best whonym got rid of my vynyl collection a few years ago   its costing me thousands of dollars i dont have to begin replacing it   im ocd about it   funding it by pretending to be a gyaru on the internet   men are pretty gross   anyhoo   i go the local stixvil record store and say hey i lost my vynyl collection and here are 60 titles id like i like to support local business though really i dont give a fuck and what can you do for me  they say we can get 28 of your titles and herere the prices  i say go for it doodaramas  then the first two come in and theyre 50% more than the quoted prices  i dont realize this till i get home and flip an email saying politely wtf  they reply with some streamofconsciousness bs and i realize theyre run by the mafia or are corrupt or incompent or all three   anyhoo this is really boring but im going to tell you anyway cuz im totally psycho about this shit so then i find out it could take years to get these titles and after the managers agreed to give me a 10% discount i realize its meaningless because theyre going to set the prices at whatever they do and i have no idea of what their markup is so fuck everything   so in summary they dont tell me their prices are meaningless they dont tell me times wholly unreliable & they dont tell me their discounts a farce  you say well its your fault dumbass   and were back to the story of the hitted and the hitter and the arden of geden and love and everything really & sorta and this is why communications an article of faith and believing in its no different than believing some incorporeal omniscent omnipresent omnipotent eternal benevolent yeahright entity knocked up some whonym female to manufacture the saviour of the world   save the world‽ yesu christou we cant save anything other than money and even that i cant

who are u in yr penitentiary of language & outhouse of mind to think anything of me other than im a rabbit of indeterminate colour hopping in a patch of absent rutabagas singing atonal progymnasmata to charters of nonexistence

*********

preamble

to wetzen the appetitus

its the twelfth of yorrowyore and supreme world leaders poutine peelingam & bidet are meeting at an undisclosed location in zoomania   as each cant understand the others accursed languages there are  considering the historic and desperate nature of these talks  twelve translators   one chinese to english  one english to russian  one russian to chinese  one chinese to russian  one russian to english  one english to chinese  and six backups      while this transcript is only in english  transcripts are also available exclusively in russian and exclusively in chinese   the original manuscript in all three languages as it was apparently actually spoken has been absconded      interpol has actively opened a criminal investigation and the worlds best minds and leading experts have been assigned

we have  for the purpose of privacy  assigned the codes of swl1 swl2 swl3 to the three supreme world leaders though not in any direct specific or even singular fashion  likewise  as the translators mutterings have occasionally improprietously and even unethically worked their way into the transcript for these weve used t1 t2 and so on through t12  again without explicit or singular assignment   finally  though scholars and journalists cant agree on source identity method  various voices not clearly belonging to any of the aforementioned 15 seem to now and then invade the proceedings  or the transcript  the relationship at timess unclear  and these  despite broad savage disputes  are labeled o1 o2 and so on until there are no more   though the unreader should be aware that  due to certain weakened methodologies of detection privacy epistemology    designations  relationships between designation and citation  citations themselves  may not as reliably conform to various standards posited among those who continue to  however inevidentially or tenuously  advocate forms of truth  though the word itself is troubled beyond repair  more replete forms of knowledge often seem to decry

confessings nicht

 

today im going to pick up my cat in its meowmobile   were going to meow around itti bitti and its heads gonna swivel 360° and it looks as if its a psychedelic cat gif in the international space station   its not really my cat anymore   whonyms say that about cats  its a joke  we belong to the cats not the cats to us   haha  but its not that sense i mean   i mean that koo-shQa  lets call it that  the name of all cats and the intimation of feline divinity  that name all cats recognize when you say it to them  the symcatico in their eyes  the yinyang of scratch and baast of patacomms   mirrored an i or some is in this i when it lived with eye in my carousel in babylon   free to roam and die it was a meow among the people and a meteorology to the masses   floating onto my lap it was a lazuli of the soul and an irritant unto pearls   but now  comfortably incarcerated in treats and coddles with none of its kind to induce it into the eros of felidae and its meow and lustre are lost

confessingss not just calloohar but a biocollage  a mashup of life which itselfs a mashup so a mashup of a mashup  its mashups all the way up  this concept was first introduced as biothanatohagiography in sadoo metrohoras work the autoapotheosis of ı      first‽!!   theres no first   thiss whats wrong with the world  its immaturity   any species still thinking one exists other than as a necessary fiction should be eradicated from dimensionality      no stream of consciousness but streamings

sadoo?! whats a sadoo   well were gathered here together in the temple of boomboom at the sadoo schlub in the żłób lounge for that very papoose   thanks for coming and bringing your gonads   you can think of sadoo as calloohar cast through an anarchic series of infinite prisms set in the incoherent mind of an apophatic star and calloohar as sadoo cast the same but in aschimophobic reverse   the more you confess the more youll understand this through the cosmic gift of notunderstanding

ive learned to masturbate without fantasizing  at least without fantasizing about anything sexual   i now think about letters and phonemes in shifting freeform geometric play   i get so aroused by these dmt apparitions associating with each other with original abandon my cock makes the amerikan steel industry look like playdoh and i cum so hard it arcs over my bellybutton and sometimes  if things tessellate  approaches the far suburbs of my nipples   this is meditating and masturbating simultaneously  mediturbating mastitating   this is the fyoochur  sex wo organs  sex wo sex  cumyums of langwich

in the oz scars last yorrow some famed whonym male hits another famed whonym male   everyone in the world  well except a lot of people and most of the nonpeople except a few incredulous cats  watch it the next day   most comments praise the hitted and diss the hitter in virtuous virtuosity as the people  well except some of the people and who knows about the nonpeople  do     we see many hypocrisies but well list three and you do the rest as were tired of doing all the work 4 u

won      the hitter  while rich and famous  does maintain an unconventional relationship  well unconventional for those narrowminded gobbies whore less creative than a smartphone  and the great conformist mass exercises its legal right to godgiven moral superiority at every possible occasion at least while waking   think of how tiresome this gets for those who are slightly but quite legitimately deviant

doo      the virtuousers love of violence  not simply through their obsessions with such actions  the news generally  but their  which is to say our and yours and mine  laundered participation in direct acts of incarceration suffering torture murder   of countless other living creatures whonyms and nonwhonyms alike  embedded into societys intransigent conventions 

tree      the hitter did provide a moment the people want  moments  they receive an opportunity to promote their charlatan righteousness and speak their mind   and for generosity they criticize the hitter‽   bread and circuses  circuses and bread  bircuses and cread  at least the people got irkuses

that the protagonists are called rock and will just shows again

what all the wits know

that some lugubrious comedians writing the script

and were all the butt of the groke

fnlly  an authentic cinematic moment  thx2all

зізнаючисьс сім or вісім

 

the easter bunny at the mall   the parents want to bring the kids  its cute and fun  but the kids see through the ruse and are terrified at this monstrous rabbit that doesnt look like anything  they cling to their mothers skirts as if shewhobroughtthechild to this hallucinogenic wasteland could ever understand the rooted legitimacy of their dread   its not as if the bunnyll physically kill the child right there in the hypercolourful fenced throneroom of plasticized eggs & flora  this lollipop phantasmagoria of berserk power and representation   even the child in some sphere knows this  but that the eared one  this warped sign of resurrection  embodies the insanity of the adult world which the child will one day all too soon have to assume as an inescapable order

i confess to not knowing whether my abiding obsession with literature and madness is a delusional regression  a psyche twisted in on itself from the accumulation of loss and selfabsorptive even autistic orientations  or a courageous protest against the pervasive inequities of society and its consumptive obsessions with itself and destruction   or‽ neither and not & so much more

in utah or nebraska or dakota  somewhere in those regions beyond  on the third sunday in november  whonym males gather for the worlds annual semen shooting contest   hosted by hank q onrop its a veritable draw for the indolent zealous and curious alike from miles around and with technology being what it is these days you can even view it online and thousands do   males take out their members  red and yellow big and small they all come out and all manner of meats dancing in lewd undress around to stimulate the bold contestants toward that bliss of ithyphallicism thats aspired to   while in the distant past stories of dubious repute abound of those days from threefingered toothless witherings of 60 inchers jizzing so hard the sequioa sempervirens grew an extra 100 metres that year  distance was judged using the ancient method of chalk and nepotism but now with lasers and yoctametres and whatnot all debates shoved into parallel realms and thats what the internets for other than porn and money of course   its meat without the meat ie meta but in montana its just the meat   the phallic warriors have 13 minutes from when the fat lady cums to shoot   the rules are simple  no mechanical aids  cant cross the line till after youve shot  friends and lovers are welcome to visibly be in the audience to encourage their favourite penis to build its velocity and trajectory as forcibly as possible with whatever gyrations and acts they deem efficacious   drug testing is disallowed so you can have whatever substances you want in your meat as long as you behave legally   you say well exposing erect penises at a country fair let alone jacking off in front of everyone sure isnt legal   well this is idaho so fuckoff   the unbroken record was set in 1945 by richard u rytas  tied in 2001 by his son richard u rytas junior and again in 2022 miraculously also by richard u rytas senior   at approximately 9.42477 metres that was a sensation lemme tell you and not just because he shacked up with the 1999 torrington homecoming queen and died during his impregnation of her and they both had to be brought by bird to cheyenne regional to get him out   made the frontpage of the post and the queens or i guess its exqueens quote i never came so many times or so hard as when his dead dick was up me in that bird and i know something like thatll never happen again but at least theres a kid coming and itll have some god help us that its a boy pretty fine potential had to sadly be censored from the official versions

city of impossible love

we conspire in the corners of despair where we loiter for scraps of light to create a city that will save us  that secret city rumoured in the spaces between words in those books the forsaken read when the wind drowns the torture of rabbits in alchemical and paludal forests   in dreams in long mirrors a mouth ordering a sylvaner  maps in the glass and a figure wandering in alcohols twisted alleys  structures protesting the principles of architecture rise in fallen desiderata caressing irrationalitys meat and the grates over hades quiver with greedy suicides  men with foxheads and green swollen cocks roll like barrels across the rigid thrones of money and their members detach and sprout wings catapulting to the darkness of heaven and exploding in shrapnel of smiles and destroyed seraglios  the 9 lines looped like radiatori and its driver oozes everywhere and the platforms are asthenic screams  we awaken with drool crusty on our confused faces and our minds grope for assemblages of hope and we name it city and it creeps in the walls of our infinite days

the city isnt some order of technology and permanence but a disordering of the senses so transgressive it must disguise itself in silks and qiveut and slink into crisp elevators where the fate of the world flickers like a schizophrenic emergency button and there if youre on a ride to the eightyfirst floor and it bumps like a rickshaw in kathmandu you glimpse its magic and the veils ripped and the wizard small and quivering and you go home if you can and lock yourself away from your distant loved ones and draw obnubilated maps in the mocking night   theres the boulevard of knives where countess quogg exenterates her husbands   museums of the novel wink across the nameless river where skeins of diseased excrement bobble to eager towns on the other side of the cranium  cackling trams careen on shredded limbs and everyones laughing and lurching and the approved bistro welcomes us with open thighs  and you  you in your auschwitz of animals in your pooh jammies on the altar of indulgence like some escapee from the middle class and your pencil shuddering with excitement and every gram of your game ready for the chase though you know neither what you desire nor where anything is

the mayor of mind holds the key in its corrupt anus and all your lickings are to no effect  you hobble on the crutches of memory and gasp the names of forgotten poets and buy a pass to the metro and descend   what are these miscreants of mumble and urine who pace on the platforms of electricity   everyones coughing and the mantras of the destitute unfold in the rags of the air   you crouch against a wall that seems safe and not too filthy and the pussed old poke us and share the violations of their years   the children of god i say were here together in the great construction of the people   knowledge walks among us and weve seen the flag of truth flap its eyeballs over our squirming lust   the city is eternal and it needs us like oil and we prostrate ourselves before it like novitiates without advancement or prior

with its free hand it slaps its own face for most of the day

and in spare moments it slaps the faces of others

and they pay it back in triplicate

it spends its time therefore in monstrous arguments

brought on by lovers friends creditors officials

and in the few moments it has left

it makes use of its freedom in a way that

startles everyone

and which always end up in small ridiculous catastrophes 

con lessings шесть секс саксофон носки отстой

 

a thing about times that any sequential chronological arrangement of events within it is bound  like representing the earthly sphere on a radically smaller two dimensional surface  to be not only distorted but just plain wrong   compare the whonym who hasnt left its tokyo condo but has studied all the maps of the world  and the whonym who hasnt looked at any maps but has crossed by boat or foot or bicycle all the terrain   theyll both in the end be nuts of course but at least the latter will know what its talking about   sure you say but this is a false binary   sure i say but timemaps dont have the limitations of spacemaps and our timemap is calloohar and this is confessing

you say this is all just another terrible bloated boring gratuitous uncontrolled fatuous awful untalented willed secondhand irritating supercilious infantile ramble   something says better that than the poo pork times and the urinal of american literature     in the reading stand by your unethical dumpster

a poo jokes a real joke says granny ı

for wit has forgotten the earth

weve had to to build heavily insulated cloisters where neither internet nor advertising can enter  in which ignorance of all politics is guarded and cultivated   speed numbers effectsofsurprise contrast size novelty credulity are despised here   and on certain days visitors come to look through iron bars at a few specimens of freedom

what a routine tragedy to see strong minds devoted to trivial things such as empires  historicevents  the thundering of cannons and the management and rule of whonyms

most whonyms hook up with other whonyms who are just like them   profs with profs  grads with grads  transitdrivers with dransittrivers  professionals with professionals  astronauts with astronauts and psychonauts with psychonauts   they say oh were not at all like each other  but expose the prof couple to the ittransdrivers and theyll say youre exactly alike      how much more interesting to put a psychonaut ecowarrior with a republican amerikan senator   a prof with a supermarketcashier   a correctionalofficer with a therapist   an assistantmanagerofplums with an asphalttechnician   boring‽ frustrating‽ futile‽ of course   but all beauty if its born at alls from such things   to have nothing to talk about with your partner   to be continuously misunderstood   to have none of the same friends   to have vast disparity in income education ambition and interests   if we were even a remotely mature species this is what wed be after   that is diversity  this is confessing and the fulfillment of the loneliness thats naturally ours

the vicissitudes of the day   for the soul  whatever ie  to bop around to thirteen disparate regions in one sun cycle  jetlagged as nature  drugged as the elohim  and hold oneself together  or be held together by whatever holds together  to call this a day or a self  to not know how transacting with societys accomplished being as i am a blued bapybara with negative eleven heads and a penis that looks like the amazon drainage basin   a swamp rabbit of chthonia i flop from disaster to disaster  enfeebled and hapless  and the landscapes no different than my digits   mysticism achieved dear gog and teresa of norwich   the unity of unities looks like a vomitorium  enlightenment a latrine

once upon a blimey there was a whonym female and a whonym male and among doing other things they manufactured five whonym children   the first became a leading orthopedic surgeon the second became president of amerika the third became a corporate finance lawyer the fourth became a worldrenowned scholar in something i dont remember and the fifth became a boutique online dealer of organic psilocybe cubensis though the other four thought the fifth was actually a stenographer though whats a stenographer in either case a loser and while the fifth was ostensibly invited to family functions it stayed away   the reason why number five didnt make it as they say is unknown to time as both parents now have dementia so bad they think theyre tetrigidae but let me tell you its because during the first four copulations the missus was hohumhohum get the seed in and the mister was hohumhohum weve done this before but on the fifth the missus was ohyeahbabyfuckmybrains out and the mister was ohyeahbabyimdoinufrmevryanglfrvr and this wasnt only because this mister may notve been the other mister but also for a buncha reasons weve put into our seminal semen seminality the woowoo coitus of the mother of the president of amerika (doomsbury: cumdun 2027)

knfssngs 5

 

emptiness is a set of principles predicated on a mathematics which can be well realized in the soul but its applications avoid register on the scales of currencies and the markets of measure

most whonyms dont apologize at all but if they do they apologize for the wrong things like they accidentally throw out your carefully curated three thousand dollar vinyl collection and act as if its your fault then forget to buy carrots at the grocery store and prostrate themselves before you in woeful abjection   or scream at you in the art gallery for taking too long in the washroom and dont say sorry then are tearfully contrite when they put a dirty plate in a dishwasher full of clean dishes   this tendency has been effectively ignored by psychologists and scholars which itself is a sign of vast import   its linked to our dedicated individual and collective denial of everything important to instead focus on euphemistic inconsequentialities which is rooted in our blithering bumbleness in that most critical of the arts   confessing      eye set out in these tales to right this disastrous wrong and set the species on the way that would guide all things into a circumferenceless and twinkling calendar

ill share with you now comrades a dirty little secret   calendars real name  the real name of the real calendar or more truly a real name of the real calendar or most truly a simulation of a real name of an intimation of a real calendar         calloohar         a dusty word only to be uttered in the most surreptitious congress      dirty‽      conceived in a filthy hole of a dying boatswain on the banks of the putūmayó as a green anaconda took the petty officer feet first

when i was younger i was turned on by being excited in sex   now im turned on by being bored in it   in both cases the physiophally works the same but the latter approachs far more sophisticated   if youre turned on by excitement in sex youre going to be routinely disappointed as sex even for the most highly active can only comprise small portions of time and inevitably frequently disappoint but if youre turned on by boredom youll be almost continually satisfied  not only because  especially in time  boredom will naturally begin to dominate over excitement  but the more important reasons that the greatest turnons are spiritual and boredoms far kinkier arousing fulfilling than excitement   if you dont believe this youve gone to the wrong schools

i imagine a confessional architected like a panopticon  not simply a confessees box on either side of the confessors booth but entire worlds of boxes in 360° all telling at once so that the confessors overwhelmed with pain and takes on itself the unbearable miseries of the world

i used to think many times that mınıseries  accent on the second syllable with both ıs short  was a sort of set of small miseries  ie life  and it was a bad day when i found out it had something to do with television

i couldve been a postpunker like gira or a supreme court justice like breyer or an exec like jobs or a skullar like zizek or even a novelist like dfwall or zadies but i more wanted to be a clochard   so many talented and untalented young thingosities just do the usual on the ladder presented to them  climbing climbing  with associated rationalizations  but something in me thought but didnt tell me      no      youre clambering a few rungs up many ladders and falling off them all so you stay alive and then im gonna give you an actual physical ladder thirty metres high and thatll be the ladder you love   and so it happened and i havent fallen off that once

its not just boredom thats such a generous giver but also failure   boredom and failure are the twins of data information knowledge wisdom      once in wretched late and latest capitalism some newly arrived manager got us all in a small room and blabbed for hours about that taxonomy   shit was he stupid

konfetti 四

 

i confess to never having lost my precarious love for the donut women of my youth  large sugary cancerous circles of dough cackling around the clock of my heart   spherical bawds of coloured goo and gossip  disasters of the nose and infernos of digestion   how ive fantasized about having them squished together as my beloved soiled mattress  masturbating on the quaggy down of their meat  feeling them squelch under my unctuous heavings  heavy clouds above the bathtub and ornamental morbidities in my garden   oh glory and memory and love

i used to never sleep or think i never slept or at least say so and would respond to queries about my lack of sleep with ill sleep when im dead   like a bravado plumcake from some wayward smurfland      but now i sleep all the time   nine hour marathons exhausted on waking napping for two or three hours after breakfast more in the afternoon dreaming of sleep and more sleep maybe its longcovid but that would make me hip so its probably just some autodevouring cancer of the soul   sleep is the new cum is thought in a brief waking episode in which i down an ineffective coffee and an effective absinthe take an elephantine dump look at the vomitorium to see whats happening in the world  how soon our faces shall melt  then careen back into the great coffin of the bed   yin and yang as bàbá freyhoven loringtag says from her tincan tits   lethargy and oblivion are the new energy is thought who needs anything   whod ever want to wake to the reality youve committed to 

what im trying to do is use my life as a laboratory to explore the effects of a certain kind of protest on the sarcous soul   a protest against the order of existence  anthropocentrism if you want to use that term  a diminishment of spirit  an elevation of solidity over other states of matter      naturally to use one life in such a way will yield little  in the way a single early experiment by a scientist might be a complete failure but in its way contributes over many years decades or even centuries to some discovery that contributes somehow to some amelioration      these confessings  along with the vast sewage of the other writings of pataooQ and the many olorous decstatic sadoos  are the ongoing laboratory report of my experiment   i know its flawed limited misguided blind  but isnt yours too

a friend or acquaintance or someone told me recently whacks of whonym females were getting pregnant after their covid booster which  along with the threat of nuclear war  raises the spectre that therell be alota nineheaded children with say pfizer as their mom and raytheon as their dad   progress

i confess to believing most virilely that the only battles between the mystics and the warriors but theres no common battlefield

i confess to disbelieving in history not as any factoid or factory of factoids but as an impetus for breath

i confess to feeling more pride knowing how to negotiate panfried brussels sprouts and chopstix than for having once and briefly been a prof   i confess to the only noble feeling i had in that dark episode was giving my finger to tenures tribe

my life dream is to locate and pilgrimage to the mecca of confessings and join with my spiritual siblingren offering encomia at the altars of avowings

im taking today as a mental disease day   whonyms take mental health days but i dont see any results from them   whereas my mental disease days are productive   wild huge results   i should be awarded a pillitzer in interior investigative journalism

the days sag like my butt and on the droopy looseness i scribe my tales