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galadap gets the job
galadap and mamare sitting in the talkatorium discussing whether to hire an ornamental hermit mamas recently returned from the endives where she was fishing for the fossilized souls of sixth century apophatics and the trip was a stunning success and mamas in a rare great mood capable of conversation and undistracted by the invisibles and the principles and governance of the amusement parks of milith and lephistopheles
which lawn though do you think it should inhabit cowchim suggests the northwestnorth queermendungjia suggests the northnorthwest wangsiri suggests the westnorthnorth tubeetu suggests the westwestnorth
eastnortheast
but nothing suggests the eastnortheast
ım suggesting its suggestion being suggested in the lack of suggestings
a kind of apomancy hm
brumy could apply
brumyll scare our intruders
they cant see it
you think brumys your imaginary friend but thats imaginary brumys as real as bernardine soares
weve had this debate before
well ive got some conjunctio to attend to ill leave things in your capable hands
do you want to at least interview the shortlist
ill just get rid of them if i dont like them
and mamas off like a zome or a fluffiness or a gravid fomentress or a braigetoír or a bewrayed pergola or the hegassen at a harrying frolic
wanted
ornamental hermıt
at the house of mama
eastnortheast lawn access only
room and herbs and potions
random stipends possible for sundry services
must have a minimum of three centuries experience in uselessness and absurdity
unparalleled intelligence creativity wit vitality and scatological prowess required
other than this house of mamas an equal oppootunity employer
and doesnt distinguish based on sex gender religion race ethnicity class age sanity ability langwich species aesthetics sentience politics physicality or existence but only on criteria unnameable unconscious subjective unknowable
galadap likes the ad so much
she decides to apply herself
dear esteemed outcats at the house of mama
ım an outcat of outcats and ı do dada like mama ım funnier than the nınth and thırteenth century combined and ım so past intelligence its forgotten it exists ı shit 81 times a day and each is a delırıous perfectıon that seızes the apple of clarıty and floods the world with the snobbıshness of madness we are the creators of the cosmoses behind ın above and below the cosmos and the ıncarnate dream of energy that turns the numinous into unconcerned anarchıc grounds of deluging eyes ı am the polyprefixes of all substantives they are the omnisuffixes of all copulatives we are the panaffixes of the destruction of grammar syntax meaning and langwıch
yours sincerely
galadap
she gets an interview and decides to wear the chromatic liquid buffoonery she picked up in pondicherry during an archaic monsoon
lovely outfit says galadap as galadap enters the interviewatoria
why thanks so much says galadap my dıno picked it out for me
oh you have a dıno exclaims galadap scribbling in her notebook furiously
ı think every selfrespecting ornamental hermıt should
are you selfrespecting though
to the extent respects a function of spectacular yes
and to the extent its not
ah theres the grub
havent washed my hair in months
no behind you walking by the window
theyre everywhere lets say youre doing your ornamental hermıt thing in the eastnortheast and twentytwo grubs descend from an afflıction tell us about a time you havent what are your three greatest devıancıes give us an example of how you dont do anything describe how youve maliciously and gleefully destroyed a team if you disagree with someone what kind of shıt do you annihilate them with and in what manner
ıd apply the golden ratıo but not the golden rule divide the grubs by seven golden pottos extracted from some golden maidenhair subtract a goldeneye pıe and eat the remainder with some golden handcuffs
when we fıre you how will you respond
ı have a sauce for that
and galadap and galadap gab it up in the interviewatoria until they smell mama on the eleventh floor and absquatulate to the absurdatory
the lower house of
lumınatı
galadap wakes on the twentysixth of haha to thirteen outhouses on the eastnortheast lawn of the house of mama its not my deathday or saintday or birthday she thinks mamas not under her trixter sign cranishs in akpatok the luminositys been repaired a coven of jakes she chortles and spends breakfast wondering how to approach them ill just eavesdrop for a while and see if i find out anything
on the fourth of décervelage she overhears some turds gossiping in the ninth privy ı shall name them now says galadap though shes unsure which name belongs to which crapper
ooboo clıtamen sylıphıs
alıs occultatıon 螺旋
oupÿpuo شٹ ınutılıous bromıde
sadoo khazı wc vulg
some muffets later round about the sixth or seventh or eleventh of pédale galadap relocates to the eastnortheast lawn pitches a marquee and situates herself before the erstwhile commodes and primarily though discreetly before the ninth and says
ı apologize in advance if ım wrong but while ı address all of you ı address the nınth in a particular way and the nınth ı believe is 螺旋 and
gurgles and fomentations heard from dispersed depths
and ıd like to thank you all for being here and honouring us with your presences galadap has fortunately taken the module on necessaria communication tactics & strategies during her certificate on merdre and everythingness and knows how to address her guests on this occasion ıd most specially like to thank jejunumıa and duodenumus as well as my many personal guardıan bacterıal spırıts and the uncountable very tıny thıngs that keep the garderobes and reredorters and all their diverse & active family members full and satisfied
螺旋 rises from its steaming transformations and a crown of turds wobbles on the mind of excrement
there are streams of consciousness and constipations of consciousness we 13 poo along the spectrum from extreme blockage to extreme stream dotter of mama order us from the one extreme to the other correctly and you shall inherit
ooboo bromıde khazı
螺旋 occultatıon alıs
sadoo clıtamen ınutılıous شٹ
oupÿuo wc vulg sylıphıs
guesses galadap what do ı inherit?
als hätten wir das alles schon mal gesehen
oh youre deutsche danskers
the more become members of gonad capitalism the more spiritmass has to retreat into the lavatories of night to compensate and balance the books of meat since all this pooing and going is encapsulated in the defecatory arts we are the council that collects the data from our populated family and weighs the outputs of whonymity analyzing them for nutritional dishealth and distribution and health and the conditions of war between cataphatia and apophatia
ım so extra delighted to have this oppootunity
we have a smelly song wed like to sing you if youll toilet us
oh please
among many other callings its called potty party
the 13 councillors of scat assemble their brains in guggling pattern round galadap and break into sonic forms never before dumped in whonym ears and the guest this specimen of the house of mama for whom its not saintday nor birthday nor deathday enters kaleidoscopic reveries of boundless dimension and passages later when she awakens on the floor of the preservatory she records
tercet latrine
if you drink some mydaleine
and turn a little green
dont turn to the sentine but the ______
tercet loo
look! in the delftwares a heap of doo
i dont have a clue
who wouldnt use the ______
tristich shitter
being the houseofmamas dotter
you never go atwitter
that langwichgutter you just go a______
tristich littlemysticsroom
when youre abloom with spoom
but tranced before godheads holy tomb
its a choice doom or zoom to the other ______
quatrain closet
nothing in lifes so dulcet
from the outset or the offset
as the lower faucet
we turn on in the va cua train ______
and the days the cusp twixt merdre and gidouille edging toward the origins of the slow dump of light and galadap rises and the suns a luminous turd and she turns toward the eastnortheast lawn and the councils gone and there are only as usual some ornamental hermits frolicking in the city of sizzling folly
the quaker oats company
galadaps dada wouldnt die everyone had lost count of the number of times they knew this was the last week and they cast their spells and said their prayers and drank their whisky each according to its kind and then a bra cad a bra there dadad be asking for his bit of tortured chicken or bowl of muffets from that secret storehouse of 2391 boxes he had ordered from the quaker oats company after hed received inside info quite accurate it turned out that muffets was going to be discontinued globally forever
probably because it doesnt have enough sugar
it doesnt have any sugar
you cant have breakfast without sugar
it didnt keep up with the times
they shouldv added sucrose and made those shredded pucks blue and green and red then they wouldv sold
oh its alright i got my 2913 boxes i figure i have to live at a rate of two muffets a day till 151 to run out
2391 boxes dada
and thats the way it went
hed fall out of his bed in the night and bang his head and go to emerg and everyone would say well now thats it but a few days later hed be back at home dozing in his chair his potassium levels would leap and hed be rushed to emerg and everyone would say well now thats surely it but a few days later hed be back at home looking at his unfinished muffet and wondering why the quaker oats company discontinued such a perfect cereal it wasnt because he didnt like sugar the muffet would go in the bowl and it would be covered with imprisoned cowmilk and then a quarter cup of golden yellow sugar from the redpath sugar company would get heaped on top and then 4 fluid ounces though theyre not that fluid of golden corn syrup from the beehive company which as far as we can tell isnt a company but is a product of were not sure of this ach food companies which in turn is owned we think by associated british foods which in turn is owned by wittington investments which in turn is owned by the garfield weston foundation which makes it sound like a charity which is more or less owned by a bunch of western weston colonialists but who can own corn really dunno you try googling who owns beehive cornsyrup and see what you get i mean try another browser and you get the st lawrence starch company which btw got into a lawsuit with the canada starch company as to which of their brands of corn syrup was fed to the dionne quints and then it seems like st lawrence and probably beehive and maybe the entire river & god knows the quints too got sold to bestfoods which seems somehow to have a sibling named hellmanns and the whole theybang no doubt including a lot of other carcinogenics was sold to cpc international or ingredion or cornproductsrefining or texaco or mazola one or all of which in one of its or their iterations was named the worlds most ethical company which godalmighty cant be true which was sold to unilever which owns a fuckofalot anyhoo this cornsyrup only ganesha knows who owns it would get poured on top of the whole cancerous mess and he fell off a ladder reaching for david copperfield dickens was the only literature he knew look were using the pasttense already dickens and the bible and some leg infection would blow up his leg to five times the normal size and creep toward his heart and everyone would say well its gotta be time now and a few weeks later hed be watching the birdies from his rocking chair and chuckling to himself birdies look at the birdies the point is we dont recommend you google beehive corn syrup
we should do him in the way trintignant does riva in amour thats the way its done thats love
thats murder brumy
murder love whats the diff trintignant does it
thats in the movies
trintignant was done
thats in the dying
death imitates art
rewilding
how long do you think someone can live on cornsyrup and incarcerated geneticallymodified harrowed chicken
probably til its muffets run out
when ı kick the muffets ıd like to be 81 and sleeping in a hammock on sable island
a cute little horsie nibbling on your gonads
thats the way to bite the lust
old muffetlovers dont die they just wheat away
oh brumy could you be a sweet dino and get me a bromide martini with nine cherries
& dada doesnt dıe
for dada is forever
theatre of papaya
a wayward papaya puppeteer vendor knocks like a windshear about the upperfloor luminosity at least it knocks galadap infers to brumy and theres some faintly audible chuckling its going to come in anyway says brumy and brumys right and the peddlar glomps down toward them like a senior senator
you may think from my reputation and it wouldnt be outrageous that i only deal in papaya puppets or puppeteers the ambiguitys to my advantage but and here i share with you what ive shared with none my passion from the earliest days has been the seeds those perfect black wee shiny bitter squishy spheres that slide down the throat as easily as chironex fleckeri and are partners with wormwood in digestive passage ive been so obsessed with them since birth i cling to the papaya puppet trade to allow me to never stray far from my beloved seeds so they are perpetually intimate and i feel their dreams and pains more than mine they are my mentors foods slaves art langwich for no one believes in communication anymore its extinct as dinos brumys scales flutter langwichs now the province of mangos and kohlrabi kamut and hedgehogs and nothing of whonyms whove abandoned language and only mimic in their deaths what was once a vitality reciting fossilized scripts from cultural middens and so i listen to my papaya seeds like a shaman listens to the trees
how much asks brumy offended by its extinction
oh you misread me dinorama says the dealer
what a waste of meat mutters brumy
i hear that says the dealer
look says galadap we cant quite say you broke in but youre definitely here without a permit and notwithstanding our common belief in the communality of things were all forced to function in seemingly abiding structures that decry such belief and hence make its practice vaguely schizophrenic and pervasively random
we dont need more cartesian superciliousness wearing love makeup in other words says the dealer
thats not quite what ı was saying says galadap
what shes saying says brumy is that youre a charlatan
im a humble mage of the seeds of papaya says the dealer how could i be a charlatan when i offer my wonders for free your accusations a projection of your inexperience in the worlds of our trade
there are no snakes in iceland says brumy
of course thats not true and never has been says galadap there are snakes in the alþingi & alþingishúsið snakes in the kirkjuþing & kirkjuráð snakes in the safnahúsið and of course wyrms of all kinds distributed equitably among all the myriad spaces
wind and ice are snakes says brumy
all the more reason to advance to the langwiches of seeds says the dealer may i offer you some
the gap between the narratives of media and the narratives of art is now so large dinosaurs can get through it says brumy
all the way from the triassic says galadap
to announce themselves in the present as necessary abominations says brumy monsters of integration
lets say i give you nine half for each of you and the only thing i ask in returns that you watch a short little papaya puppet play of my own composition its called theres just not enough in its void and it was created when microdosing a concoction of methylenedioxymethamphetamine cannabis lysergicaciddiethylamide psilocybin and pharmahuasca in a treehouse on a coracle on the ganga
theres just not enough in its void
or
blood squirt
a very short tragitragedy
in nine acts
by
a wayward papaya puppeteer dealer
characters
many papayas and their pulp
fire ice air theusual
sonics & the senses
smoke n fashion
darkness
... and starring ...
papaya seeds
setting
an altered preservatory in the house of mama
a country road some numbers
the eternal crepusculars
acts one through nine
the dealer disappears in a mirage of smoke in the preservatory
and in their place a firepuppettheatre
the spectators gather around its heat
a parade of papayas walk on the sea of fire without harm and take positions
the nine papayas are donned in garish warrior ice outfits but do not melt
cacophanous lights and atrocious darknesses
screeching and irreconcilable sonics
smells to faint by and a clammy energy creeps throughout the room
the nine skin one another and their pulp whirls into the air
the seeds of the nine form iridescent constellations of suggestive semantemes
we loved it squeals galadap
speak for yourselves says brumy
we were brumy oh well take some
are you degeneratively insane says brumy
and the dealer crumbles to ash and the ash vibrates into nine papaya seeds and brumy and galadap divide them among themselves
well regret this says brumy
regrets the new joy says galadap
that may be says brumy and if it be joys also the new desolation
and desolation the new giddiness
and giddiness the new abominably unimaginable affliction
nothing fried nothing pained
a witch in rhyme saves nothing
a word of the sand births doo in the tush
the evils in the fairytales
the gnarly turd is the norm
youre a bite for bored ewes
and the friends eat their allotments and brumys eyes get big as bromides and they transmogrify into a flagitous papaya with teeth the size of a spinosaurus and it tears galadap apart like bánh tráng and theres neither evidence nor memory of galadaps existence and brumy settles into the house of mama like a tapestry