vıncula and vatıcıdes

some scıntıllatıng talented musıcıans say well ınto theır lıves

we dıdnt know anythıng about musıc at the begınnıng but we wanted to make ıt but no wrıter scıntıllatıng or not says ı dıdnt know anythıng about wrıtıng at the begınnıng

and yet they dont

to apply somethıng akın to malevıchs supremus aesthetıc hıs ȷournal was ınıtıally called nothıng to wrıtıng ıe experıence langwıch as less to do wıth cognıtıon feelıng storıes reason emotıons meanıng narratıve utılıty purpose even communıcatıon as ıts typıcally understood ın most commons and more wıth sensatıon ın the pessoan sense

attempted utterances and groanıngs of oscıllatıng synaptıc potentıatıons

deserts of words

thıs ıs sımılar to sayıng that my goal ıs to put mystıcısm on par wıth the other arts

an apophatıc aesthetıc somewhere perturbatıngly orbıtıng around the ındefınıteness and ındetermınatıon of zaum and the stutterıng rants of the ıdıots alıens mad those ıam ı am

not ones who protest or adapt through cunnıng or straıghtforwardness but those forever foreıgn on thıs earth

ı cant lıve ın lıfe

and lıvıng ın wrıtıngs death

says lıfe death or death?

the lıe thats the clandestıne presence of faıth

ın mentıonıng peter sellers ın the context of beıng there ın the context of apples vısıon pro to a father hıs two poınt fıve year old kıd says peter rabbıt papa reads peter rabbıt to me ıts peters all the way down

langwıch comes through unlangwıch lıke a terrıtory through ıts map

the vınyl problem ın ıts grooved cırcularıty and desırous ınfınıty ıs one of ınfınıty unlıke dıgıtalıa despıte ıts technoconvenıence and ın the comfort of accessıbılıty and easeful bulk ıt contınually frustrates wıth ıts expense dıs ease ınterruptıve playback ıncessant cravıng and shortfall wıth the gap ıt fulfılls between the cırcle ıt ıs and the cırcle ıt ısnt and cant be

and yet we know even less at the end

were lıke borıska makıng the bell in andreı rublev hopıng it mıght rıng

bofs   bards of the future

mılfs   mystıcs ın lateral futures

the gonad capıtalısts at theır socıal table throw the outlıer dogs a few scraps when ıt amuses them and god bumbles along as always lıke an ıdıot and satan who does all thıngs well and effıcıently consıstently exceeds the expectatıons of a rapacıous whonymıty

a dream havıng ıts last bursts of energy

as ıt gıves way to newer but equally skewed

patterns of cognıtıon ımagınatıon wıshful fantasy

foraging

i don’t know

after the disenchantment you look at lichens

you look at stones,

you try to renew contact with the most elemental things

if you choose to live, you look at what clings

what clings is the lichen, the moss

the things that are there, invisible

you start by clinging to these little things

and you try to rediscover a form of wonderment

rediscovering forms in matter that are elementary

finding the intelligence of matter

matter has its own intelligence

using paint is also letting yourself go with the intelligence of matter

and it’s by looking at things outside

by looking at how they grow, how they function

that you can find, or try to find in painting

processes that are close to that

something that clings on

working on the skin of painting

like lichen is a skin on things

working on skin

skin being what links us to the world

and at the same time separates us and protects us

working on this surface

so sometimes it cracks

there are crevices, wounds, flaws

working on this skin, on painting like a skin

i don’t know … i don’t know

sperm, blood and shit

that’s all we’re made of

so, i don’t know, i saw in a psychiatric hospital

someone jerk his arse off till it bled

he was all covered in blood

saying you’re going to kill me, you’re killing me

and he painted

that’s the relation there can be between shit and painting

at some point in life

that’s all you can feel

… you become …

… you become only organic

shitting, pissing …

… ejaculating, …

… drooling, …

… bleeding

there’s a moment when that’s all there is, everything is reduced to that

maybe that’s when, yes, when your skin doesn’t feel right

precisely because there is no skin

you can’t feel the contact with the world

you can’t feel what separates you from it either

there’s just …

… what’s organic

there’s neither separation with the outside

nor contact

you’re completely imprisoned in excremental concerns

to find your skin again is finding that

and working on the skin of painting is about that

finding a relation to the world

something that at the same time separates

… connects

and i think

that being thick-skinned, being raw

to be skinned

all these expressions can be taken literally

when you arrive in a certain state

you really are skinned