i though i dont exist am about to bathe and in preparation disrobe and due to it being cool in the house and my not wanting to turn on the heat precipitated by a complex of complexes arising from my motherss complexes of complex relating to their unacknowledged distaste of mint knickers im wearing many layers of clothes not only over my groin legs chest back arms but head and feet and thus the getting naked takes an inordinate amount of time and with each diminished layer i grow colder but not wishing to speed up the process due to my increasing fascination with the patterns of colour and material that are forming on the floor a real work of art certainly compared to the charade of this novel and then engrossed in the counting of the increasing discarded items and debating in the synagogue of myself with no satisfactory solution anywhere in sight in time or out whether i should number each pair of socks one or two for its questions such as these that define a good life and spectacles? do they count? why do i say spectacles? how do spectacles count? if were interested in a certain consistency which by no means we are and we count each pair of socks as two items rather than one should we then not in fairness and equanimity count each pair of spectacles also as two? two feet two eyes as granny i says as you see we say spectacles and socks favouring those who advocate two rather than one its true we say sock for one as in have you seen my other sock? but this is typically in the context of two and surely is because socks while bound to one another arent bound in the same way as spectacle is to spectacle for wouldnt we say spectacle only if your spectacles are busted and then we might be more inclined to say have you seen the other half of my spectacles? rather than have you seen my other spectacle? and now that were indirectly talking about them what about monocles? why dont we call them bictacles? all this indicating something of importance the philosophers have paid too scant attention to and all this taking place at once and in slomo but the effect growing me colder and its phenomenal i ever get into the bath
but all of this has been done before says mácedonio the novels impossible and impassible all the same characters tropes ideas thoughts words experiments subversions tediums selfsatisfactions laughs one really should just count ones clothes or try to count them as one never really can end up properly doing and go to bed one should write prologs to logs that never happen
i despise the novel more than i do myself im always rushing around so as to be the first one to arrive late ive no comprehension of and no way of comprehending how to distinguish the characters in my novel the characters in my life the words in my life the characters in others novels the characters in others lives life novel thing human object word all morphing into each other like ducks in the distance or the wealthy and powerful in time or bodies in a steamroom or hate anywhere
i want to include a picture of the clothes how theyre cast in perfect randomness on the carpet if i only possessed more wisdom theyd be a sign to me an oracle of images a kabbalah unveiled sartorial runes
this isnt a matter of ocd ocd runs in the family surely and by family i mean the human family we now know with as much certainty as we can muster in our fogged drizzlings that humanitys the one authentic manifestation of ocdity in the universe and we label those with ocd the ones we need to take that burden so the rest of us can feel were normal though normal doesnt exist and never has the psychiatrist designating the patient ocd is in reality and simply a matter of one human with power and obsessed with power and with the power of designating others officially with ocd and this legitimized through institutionalized ocd professionalism who after all and in what conflict of interest obtains the right to label and hierarchize brainscans? translating this obsession through clinical weaponry to someone with less power to maintain the power imbalance and because the now designated ones obsessed with something other than power and less acceptable to those with power say the manifold sensuousness and methods of squeezing toothpaste onto or not onto ones toothbrush or the forming secret messages of ones cut toenails these acts and orientations having nothing to do with power other than the energy of the act itself like how to count ones clothes as one takes them off before a bath or before a bath one hopes to take but never does because the counting becomes in a sense the bath and replaces the bath and one just goes to bed
