i’m
here to apply for the position of dog-walker
oh great. a few questions
then
sure
tell me about your history
with dogs, your love for them, …
i
don’t like dogs, they seem too much like humans
i’m not sure how comfortable i
am having someone walk fifi who doesn’t like dogs
i like plants
bujja needs her plants walked!
i’ve
liked a few dogs in my life who seem like plants – why don’t you put fifi on the windowsill and i’ll tell
you if i like it
she’s a she … fifi … fifi ... fifi ... oh fifi
my little ball of fluff, my darling, oh sweetsipie, oh my chubbawoofpoo, my …
yap yap yap
yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
oh
no i don’t like it. in fact i wholly detest it
yap yap yap
yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
it’s out of the question then.
you can’t walk fifi
i’d
like to walk it
look – i must have someone who minimally tolerates dogs, who at least can pretend to like fifi. i know she can be annoying but all of us can be, and she
had a difficult puppyhood and we’ve grown up together really and now – it sounds
a bit silly i know – but she’s my closest friend, i shouldn't admit this but we cuddle at nights, sometimes quite intimately …
yap yap yap
yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
i
must walk it, give it to me now
i’m sorry, i’ll have to ask
you to leave or i’m going to call the police
i
will leave, but only with fifi
i’m calling the police
yap yap yap
yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
fifi
bites the owner and runs out the open door
with the dog-walker, who
– along with
fifi – is never seen again
