multiple choice exam

every great novel has to have an exam in it and sadoo  being the greatest of novels by not being one  knows the only worthy form of exams the multiple choice as it gives the appearance of relative ease but a savvy instructor can fuck with students far more than any other form and of course its way easier to grade and every poofessor knows its all about easier to grade and fucking with students that educations all about  so while this isnt sadoos first exam it is its most laconic and laconicism while we dont necessarily admire it is at least far undervoiced compared to its famous siblings logorrhea garrulousness verbosity blather volubility loquaciousness wittering   and sadoo as we know overall in its excessive wordiness sides with the famous not because it believes in them anymore than the critically endangered laconic but to show it has at least some capacity to participate in the current      but the current gets enough attention and anyway the exam started out laconic but         so now to the exam

 

circle the number beside the line most likely said by

the professional at the top of each question

 

the minimum time limit to complete the exam is nine

years   submit your completed exam to noonepasses@coldmail.gov along with

naked photo

id your physical address and banking information

 

politician

            i.                  i love criceeam beanutputter wandsiches

         ii.                  theres no greater challenge and there is no greater honor than to be in public service

      iii.                  why dont you just strip right now and lean over my desk and ill get you into that vacancy in Defense

      iv.                  our chief and perhaps only mandate is to reduce the whonym global population by 90% by whatever means and however covertly

 

artist

            i.                  in my life i routinely use ritual to officially build intangible toxicity in my heart and mind   after the ceremony the ritualistic objects become symbols of confusion alienation weakness exploitation and these symbols become the raw material of my art

         ii.                  im in constant need of validation from others in whatever form is opportunistically available

      iii.                  artists are the hierophants of an unapprehended inspiration  the unacknowledged legislators of the world

      iv.                  i like to think of myself as a saanvi of all trades twitching between mediums  hopscotching around warm fuzzies & gigglies  whimsying through the abjections and horrors that are all around and inside me

and since were unfortunately speaking of artists are they the same as racists and sexists and speciests and classists  those stupidly prejudiced against those who do art  but those who do art are artists  does that mean artists are prejudiced against themselves and thiss why theyre so fucked up all the time? or can we separate those who do art  artists  and those who hate those who do art  artistists or misoartists or so as not to confuse the latter with those who do miso art artistophobes? this isnt part of the multiplechoice exam and even though its visually included you should visually separate it in your mind to ensure it maintains its separateness and noones sure why we included it other than every exam needs some uncomic relief

 

gangsta or polytician or since polyticians dont exist monotician

            i.                  it makes no difference what people think of war  war endures   as well ask people what they think of stone  war was always here  before humans were war waited for them   the ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner   that is the way it was and will be  that way and not some other way

         ii.                  i asked god for a gun but i know god doesnt work that way  so i stole a gun and asked for forgiveness

      iii.                  you can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word

      iv.                  i play by my own rules and my own rules are guns guns guns

 

socialjusticewarrior

            i.                  darkness only can drive out darkness  only love can drive out love

         ii.                  be the madness you wish to see in the world

      iii.                  together we can do so little  alone we can do so much

      iv.                  the just person is not the product of a day but of a long brooding and painful birth   to become a power for peace and truth a person must first pass through experiences which lead them to see things in their different aspects  it is necessary that they have a wide horizon and breathe various atmospheres  in a word from crossing one after another paths and points of view the most diverse and sometimes the most contradictory they must acquire the faculty of putting themselves in the place of others and appreciating them

 

there   youre done   kill yourself