waiting for novelot

you say all my novels about is novel  of course all its about is novel  all there is is novel  novel writes about novel  were involved in a grand solipsism of novel and consequently complain about little solipsisms to detract us from the big one   its not waiting for godot  its waiting for novelot  but you say godot never comes  well novel also never comes  but whats this you say  ha got you to admit its a novel   but  notjokes aside  novel does never come  like godot and novelot and god and peace  because its always here and everywhere  it never has to come  not only that  it cant come   do you wait for the universe?   no  the universes here   imagine if sammy fuckett had written waiting for universot   whonyms only think the plays profound because godots elusive  but sos everything that doesnt come because its here   that was the real play sammy played  and the play plays it on us   just like novel youll say   well not really

what doesnt novel do? novels omnipotent omniscient omnipresent omnigood omniyuckyuk omniomni  novels god and has replaced god as god continually fails because science cant find it   but novels a fact and its god  which isnt bad considering it doesnt exist

 

lets get this straight  novel doesnt know what its doing  its still not out of diapers   now its true still being in diapers is a kind of knowledge  some would say a knowledge far superior to most forms of notbeingindiaper   and havent all those ponderous eurodemics  a hybrid of pandemic yakademic academic and youreapeein  failed for not having written beingindiaper and notbeingindiaper   after all having all that shit just squishing around your bottom and not being able to do anything about it has to do something special to the brain   but if only there were more shit! novels in diaper but doesnt shit so misses out on the one thing that makes the diapered ones smart

 

poo aside

writing is pooing  theres little difference between reading a good dump resting in the toilet receptacle and a good book resting on your lap  if you eat literary ice cream and french fries and hamburgers  even if theyre gourmet and organic  your books will be fat

 

writing that claims to be about writing is actually pooing about pooing  so there are two types of writers  pooers and pooologists  and the latter are really just a subclass of pooers but those pooers who poo not because they have to physically but because theyre spiritually compelled  they poo not to defecate but just to poo   and yea in the future nostrapoopus says there shall arise in the east a subsubclass of pooers who poo to poo to poo and then  even then  a subsubsubclass of poo⁴  and so  without end  it goes

 

whats with all the pooism and pooists? pooologys the oldest and noblest of disciplines  the well of wellness

 

ooQ

craprates poofessor of poopporn induced output

faculty of eternal flow

university of east rrhea

 

as film stupidly borrows from narrative and internet stupidly borrows from society so novel stupidly borrows from reality   i know what the yakademics say about reality   fine   they dont know anything about reality  its just another word now comprehensively abstracted from its earthiness this abstraction rationalized to be the highest knowledge & sophistication   a phd is an expert sharlatan sherpa taking you on a oneway noreturn path to comfy delusion  who wouldnt want to swallow that irrevocable pill   let me tell you i got close  the capsule was in my mouth  i could taste its sexy wellnessfull sweetness  the grad students stripping in my office  it was stroking my uvula with its collegial tendernessy tentacles   but then i couldnt help myself  i gagged  spat it out on the subway floor during rush hour and it attacked a huddle of poor immigrant children while chanting equality fraternity liberty intersectionality madness science domination love   guess it was my fault for coming so close to swallowing   the blood & lawsuits were horrible and its taken me almost twenty years and a lot of drugs and a clowder of antisherpas no one tells you about and are hiding in the privies of energy to help me forget   forget what?  forget the shitless diaper   forget the taste of the pill  forget the stinkless knowledge

 

so what should novel borrow from if not reality or society? some say it only borrows from novel  a selfcontained ecosystem of book   some say it borrows from imagination  that vorticial latrine of images and daemons   we could say it borrows  it must borrow  from  and only from  nothing   which is ridiculous   well for one thing novel doesnt borrow  it steals  it steals from everything  which stupid & smart alike confuse with nothing  imagination irreality polyreality book image pills death knowledge stupidity shit shitlessness

 

death though is pissed novel steals from it  nothing steals from death   so death has a side business of stealing from novel  tit for tit as some investment banker must be saying as it diddles its clients in chains in the benthouse of capital   novel and death compete as grand thieves on the boulevard of everything and try to knife each other when they find themselves in the same store at 3am and the cops are coming but death you know can never get caught or hurt so death just laughs and novel trips on its tale and bleeds to death