cars running & the whonym

here everyone leaves their car running   its +8 outside nowind sunny and they leave their car running  they all start it up as soon as they know they have to go out  they go outside and start it up and leave it running  no matter what the weather is  and go back inside the house  for what seems like days  eventually they return outside and go and sit inside the running car for even more minutes  then finally drive away   they park by sides of the roads and sit there doing whatever they do in cars and their cars are running the whole time  some leave their windows open & its -8 outside and still their cars are running  they check their phones and check their phones again  waiting for luvot  they stare into space  maybe they daydream if they remember how  they check their phones and their car is running and i walk by and as im passing i glare at the exhaust and glare at the hood and shrug my shoulders as if im watching aliens lynching forests without knowing what theyre doing  which i am   they leave their car running and they put out garbage like no other people   when i lived with three other adults for 10 years we created one bag of garbage a month   here the limit has been 10 bags of garbage per household a week   thats over 43x the amount of garbage   the authorities have just reduced that to 4 bags per week  thats still over 17x  but this not to take effect for another year  already there are uproars  a family needs to create more garbage the whonyms cry  but a family already is garbage why does it need to create more the authorities dont say   families are sacred & holy & righteous & the very heart of order & time & heart and if we dont let them procreate themselves londonbridge will fall down ohnoohno   what do they put in there? how can you make that much garbage? if they create 43x more garbage does that mean there are 43x more people per household?  which would mean 172 whonyms in a house or apartment or under the new rules 68 whonyms  either way its a lot of whonyms even in a fourbedroom  but really really really really a lot in a onebedroom and even more if thats imaginable in a studio or bachelor   maybe theyre throwing out whonyms i think  maybe theyre filling the garbage bags with their car exhaust  maybe theyre filling garbage bags with garbage bags  its not novels or bottomlessnesses all the way down its garbage bags   and suddenly i understand how everything operates and rather than feeling enlightened i just feel like going to sleep

ive thought about this whonym thing which doesnt mean much but its fun to think when thinkings fun  should humans all be renamed whonyms or should just some humans be called whonyms and the rest still be called humans and if the latter what would the criteria be to decide which is which? they all look the same  at least to a tree or bear  the important things  smell differently  sound differently   i know some of you say well human is the accepted word and whonyms your neologism which only you use so obviously youre nuts and there are just humans and everyones a human   and i think well well im not sure thats what trees and bears think  and you say well you dont know what trees and bears think  and i think well well well how do you know i dont know what trees and bears think  and you say well youre certainly not a tree or bear   and i think oh god weve been through this before and were still saying the same shit so i go for a dump by the riverwho and call myself names and im not sure im a tree or a human or a bear or a whonym but ill define a whonym as one who isnt sure and call myself in faith a whonym and if there are humans ill call them those who are sure

call for mystics

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(or fukky and diaper poop it up)

i’m fukky risotto and we’re shitting here today with sadoo diaper in the common privy of tatica at the end of the world. thanks for shitting with us diaper

love it fukky

a number of our unreaders have been asking about what skills you’d recommend if they’re interested in becoming mystics

there’s not just one kind of mystic fukky so it really depends on what your unreaders want to become … or unbecome to be more realistic

they’re your unreaders diaper

what my unreaders want to unbecome

are we then really talking about unbecoming unmystics

i’m never quite sure what’s really being talked about

or untalked

we’ve unbeen unthrough unthe unthing unbefore

unweave

deyeah deok

but isn’t this a prime example of mysticism?

uning and deing?

yeah – mysticism dedoes, it doesn’t go anywhere, our conversations in degoing are a kind of nothing of language, an unwording

most would just say we’re nuts

but they’ve always said mystics are nuts

i can see why i don’t just shit by myself fukky

can you enumerate for us the types of mystics

there’s the common occult mystic and the uncommon occult mystic and the common and uncommon unoccults and many types within each of those, there’s the mystic that places within a recognized religious tradition and many types within those and these often further divided by geography and history which is kind of ironic considering the mystic's relationship with time and space, there’s the aesthetic mystic – a more recent and growing type – and many types within that, then there are all the others and the types within those types and so on and so on

what unites them all?

could you move over a bit – your left flab’s hanging into my hole and inhibiting my dump

it seems to me that for example aleister crowley’s an entirely different breed than simone weil or julian of norwich or zhuangzi

aleister’s a performing spectacle on the cultic stage. we could say esotericism or esotaticism and we wouldn’t be wrong but we also wouldn’t be right

i remember why i love these interviews

and why my unreader community’s so large

but let’s get back to the point

they should practice staring a lot. staring at nothing, staring at something, staring at many things. ostensible homelessness’s a good idea. as are frustration, incomprehensibility, babbling. they should lose as many things as possible. and move around a lot while detouring around everything. smelling slightly weird doesn’t hurt. dressing oddly. operating as much as possible outside the dominant definitions of career, relationship, occupation, ambition, respectability. they shouldn't think or act or feel. not everyone says this but i recommend some aptitude with a glue gun. listening, but listening minimally to humans and mostly to all the other things for there are far more of them and they're way smarter than humans. waiting. waiting’s huge. samuel wasn’t a mystic particularly but it did a good channeling job on the waiting part of mysticism in its godot thing. deeply nurtured intimacies with every possible variegation of nothing, oblivion, humiliation, disgrace, negation, ...

... sounds like a bum diaper

the difference between a bum and a mystic is the former’s fallen through the cracks and the latter into the hole

guess there aren’t a lot of schools of mysticism

there's a curriculum for the school for mystics, a charter even, a policy and course handbook, writing centres, tenuretrack postings, faculty listings and prizes and gowns, endless incomprehensible forms, tech support, committees task forces a senate, the whole badoodle ... but no one’s ever found the school

sounds like a wretched vocation

and i forgot shitting. a mystic should always be an expert shitter – look at mine, it’s 21 metres long, a perfect bristol 3.8, coiled on itself like an expertly laid water hose, smells like gardenia jasminoides, …

... but diaper it’s animate

one’s creations you know, got to let go of them

it’s rising from the privy and it has a lot of eyes and doesn’t seem friendly

know any shit charmers?

call for mystics

the world needs you

enroll now