on seeking tribe

a summary exploration of entering death before death

for the people for whom we write well say at the outset that the bloodbirth family you found yourself in and the surrounding tribe of values class race sanity that you found yourself mingling with as you crawled and flew through your first thirty years on the planet this solidity of a particular set of personages regardless of diversity of personality and character isnt the tribe that nurtures you and to find that nurturing youll have to seek for many years in the limitless land of the dead

a difficult task the dead are far more infinite slipperier than the living their rules are hard but shift according to context and mood in this theyre little different than the living the difference in jurisprudence if we can use that word of the dead is that their laws arent codified or rather are written yet written in other grammars but like the dead arent discrete bounded certified and if you break them like the living you could go to prison die or no one might notice at all except that the living are eternally distractible forgetful consumed with their little cums of life but the dead the dead will always remember what you did and will ensure you do too

if it sounds ominous it doesnt matter much if your tasks to seek your tribe there you dont have much choice so forget about the terror its no worse than life really and theres no door of course just walk in like eurydice and the others youll never leave but so what its philosophical all this atmosphere

id encountered the dead before naturally but it wasnt until the winter of nineteenninetysix that i walked in its always words we see however ephemerally on the other side that draw us someday when we who now live are no more or rather after we have been words or their spirits which is to say spirits of spirits and i crossed into death before the official date fate has written for me a transgression perhaps but a no the rite of passage for those of our anomic tribe

its not that the bloodbirth people dont love you its that they cant and its not that you dont love them but you cant so its frustrating and alienating for everybody and rather than be juvenescently romantic and unrealistic its better to be pragmatic so that love can happen in the background well have more to say on background love and its sinuous laws

a nice thing about the dead is that theyre everywhere and in everything thats why most living dont pay them much attention they crowd things out until you doubt the living much exist which may be the hidden heart of truth take your teacup twinklegonads the one blinking right in front of you its made by and of the dead and you drink the dead and the dead sell it to you and the dead buy it from you and they infuse each artifact act thought dream like neutrinos therere around 50 whonym dead for each living and if you include all the dead others which we must there are about 81 yottatrillionbillionzettagoogolzillion dead for each living whonym so what are the living next to this and why pay them any attention