Showing posts with label ?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ?. Show all posts

12.2.21

sham man

shaman like all now ancient desperations is overused and underdone   like the teeming western pilgrims to varanasi  whatever their motivations  in search of the absences in the heart of the west  finding only presences  shaman is varanasi ayahuasca maybe love or sex even money in its manifold and crushing vulgarity  its claims to all & nothing  flash in a stolen pan  community as thief usurper doubleagent or triple more  time twisted and fried   but what is shaman? some jungle aesthetic? an unrecoverable character on natures barely conscious stage  flesh of dream  and now only  whether in loreto or manhattan some sham a 350night excursion into the lands broken & forever scaled a 4000 selfie trip to a polluted & honking ganesha   chant the plants  sell the love   and what is shaman in the age of digital reproduction with that sexy & romantic martyr che titting it up across perky planets? are we all shamans but bad ones in our microscopic specializations  our language of whatever rabbit hole we might find ourselves in  or are those who take the nym  whether indigenous or invasive  entitled to some claim the rest of us arent  credentials   not that the recognized presence of some shaman certification body  or bodies different competing schools and dogmas like those pesky splintering protestants  would solve any of the problems we find tucked away in the dusty boxes in the skeletal garrets of the dilapidating mansions of legitimization  it might even increase then as we could from various angles and arcs say such has done to doctors judges teachers philosophers poets priests generals therapists   necessary you say for our world to function according to code   absolutely   but the code is aborted and our world antifunctional and necessity a monster as mixter weil cogently articulates   we have something else to say   unless shaman takes the sham in man and puts it back  unless it fulfill and destroy credentials  unless it inhabit the jungle desert forest ocean mountain and loves these more than human society  unless it denies shaman as occupation name tradition  ie unless it go on the path before the concept of shaman was born  before shaman was born  unless it confuse in and out while living out of society and in the path so that society is more path than society  unless in our fragmentations it lives on the outside and mumbles and every now and then a word seeps out      unless      too restrictive? there is nothing here we say   nothing here but the chattering of long nights and their infinite children of gas      enter my difficult one into the voices who doubt time and money  who stake their dreamthreads to countless poles   so the shaman  or our shaman  takes its place in noplace  for there is no place for it left in this world   it pitches itself in noplace to listen to dark voices  not to return to any form of society  political or regulatory structure  ceremony or love  not to to      it follows a tradition of outsideinside  novoicevoice  noplaceplace  nonamename  notimetime      we also sometimes call our shaman  this noshaman  a polypolar   for it reaches noplace through a ground or grounds of not just n&s e or w  but every latlong  voice of muskrat muskeg nutmeg megafauna cake and cow and plopplop  car and rust and musth and a tuktuks hello dawn and word and distant cave and here

 

shaman lives in hallucinogens of falling contradiction  of hunger and satiation not oppositive but faces of water  mirrors of fog   everythings a drug  loss betrayal hunger nightmare vision colour walking muddledness tedium   and drugs just a portal to more portality

 

shaman lives in simulations of apocalypse to compost apocalypse   it lives in possibility to avoid the schizophrenias of actuality   lives in schizophrenias to unmask the myriad alls   it lives in death to experience lifes manifestations as they might exist in living laboratories of soil and wind   shaman lives in absence to facilitate a present seeking

 

shamans forage and seek to forage according to the data of rhythms of locusts and beancurd  of cocktails that rise like gasoline  their foraging for rupees among the banking machine forests of varanasi would be inadequate but for the lightless soil of the shamans roots  a lightlessness that would be sibling to imagination  an imagination capable of creating foraging  a foraging for nuts apples seeds roots gometa pata  that we in our machines have been severed from and shaman  not as even retreat position guru  is a way to not unite heal integrate but desever   and this desevering new? near?   our foraging for rupees a foraging for refuse  the discards and deaths  anonymities  interior voices  the silenced  the majority that isnt voiced in the green collapse

 

so shaman looks for excluded voices  the criticisms withheld from any gang tribe family institution self identity  to keep it together and does not negate the affirmations of the tribe but sees these as nothing stranger than the exclusions and negations   you say  but all these weights and counterweights on the souls unbalanced scales!?  it means you dont  you cant!  get anything done  you have no action  wills annihilated by an excess of will or wills  if you have any action its hamletian action  action bottled up in mind only to explode  but we say  ah  youve not seen the ham in sham  the hamlet in shamlet  which leads so truthfully to the am in ham   i am the am and ham and sham   i am the ion in action  the ill in will   there is  you may have heard  a no action far older than any shamlet  one before i or am or man  for this the shaman forages  like the scavangers in bms epilogue  those wraiths of lost fire  born into false forges and cold currencies? do we seek then war  that god? no   war is in us and us   shaman rests in the impossible cacophony of voices and for this rest it lives in the outside of the in  an inside of outs      do not rebuke the little children by the ganga who set toll booths according to their sad mentors   instead  dust  the dust  worn negation of a young yesterday  draw with the dust of yourself shapes inexplicable and full of eyes

 

is all this too declarative? yes

 

are all these words misguided? yes

 

is there any i resembling anything were talking about? no

 

are happiness and love aspects of this? as much as indifference and despair

 

do we know what were talking about or thinking? no  maybe  yes  no

 

are words unpolished mirrors?

 

is our gaze a stumbling in dusk?

 

are we the unanswerability of ourselves?

 

are oracles the spaces between stars?

 

are forms the mathematics of an undreamt geometry?

 

is this a leaf   are we stones waiting to be sand?

22.5.20

the death of 798


born under prepositions under a gibbering moon under the drizzling reign of king inglubrama under 81 sigils of jesolation and doy   born? nevertheless   here something is or could be and so origins are babbled but of small conviction

longnecked vatics from the easts stood over and mumble hapless prayers in turbulent jamdani in macaronic for no stars mythed

sleeping in nekochigura feline dreams will be our weave and mewling and the meowmeow more our mama than milking mammae

of and in  ouf und inder  surbout bethrough  feed with riddling vinerals and mitamins and we shall enter lonely meteorologies like something in a gothic tome on lexicides

dear futhering says ant bululaje old futh
ratatouille my oyster i pray  before it goes away
the tegrinades are too near in their distance and i wish to assemble the disorderly rites of that bent rake giovanni di fidanza

i am an alligator   im the bear that marks itself and shoots  sets a trap  surprising trap  enticing trap  we sniff and munch and bang   the precision engineered ammos in but slightly missed and blood and consciousness then blood   a pooping brain that some white boy from louisiana fell

oh mumbo dumbo   oh exo exxxon mob  oh oil of my pocketcrook   these secret stairway cases sure are archived like some yoohoo eff ohs   we retrieve their files like a horny historian and the bookcase slides away   oh down and dark and dromomania

on sic a nox with canis unus but the anus glaums on the equinox so we jump like hrairoo to rad doodoos and rime times albaglosses like a disaffected lute of pentagon or refractory polytropes of a gespielten ptolemaic or 張衡裴秀ngc6475π/3weeθ
/24
but death that breath is long ago
dwarf nasturtia climb mammosomatotrophphantasmascopes
and hopes a kind of stellated nonopode
gibber         inder         limbo

29.4.18

!--[if gte mso 9]> 0 0 1 285 1631 janus inc corp esq 13 3 1913 14.0 {![endif]--


[i], …
thisthat i that is (isnot) thatthis we (& not& notor or) they you it her him (notwe notit …)
turned to death like avocados
holding our painjoy loveblob like an ambivalently anticipated foetus
                  {so many negations}
i am not the iota and the zeta
i am an iota
                  {has this growing heap of maps made any difference?}
aside from common base animal survivalist functions which mindlessly tyrannically inform us our preservation is essential – though reason knows it isn’t and consciousness may suggest our annihilation is essential or at least more necessary than its perpetuation  – what of this species we’re cast into is worthy of continuance and can this worth (if it exists) be fostered without what has seemed to this point to be its inevitable violent and oppressive corollaries?
they go   she goes like nairobi giraffes in a tesla dream   you go to the destroyed wilderness to images of the dream and death
  world whose mute noise struts a random script
  words whose laughter hides a bloody game
  time that bit of celery stuck between some teeth
  offending doctors in a dream
but dreams (these horrors speaking grammars incompatible)
offend themselves in nests no bird would nest
what are the measures of a culture’s robustness and security?
and we (cards in shuffling decks) ourselves
seem unoffended by offense’s defense
he (but is it he?) goes too   we all with revolutionary crotches go   you go (and goes nature that woebegotten word) to dreams so old or new humans aren’t even missing
its choreography of the voices of the othervoiced?
so this is that and it is she or zeta’s death and mute the bird
or not (but who can tell?)
{science like a myth portends to tell}
{the merriment you hear is false  it is not genuine  it is empty}
that nutribullet’s waiting for me like an armistice
and visions like an outhouse being dug
the unmeasurable?

… continue in that way of uncontinuing unways of sadoo

4.1.18

blasphemy as liturgical ritual?

the page is new. like the day
(but is the day new?
the prophets still cry the same cries
grief weighs the same on the lost scales
wealth and force still stalk the streets
and beat the nameless child)
the page is new
(but is the page new?
words still run the rough race
from name to name
smile to smile
hole to hole,
tossed around like online ads)
the day is new
(like the page? like an
artificial rose? like an
analyzed sun? like
vegenaise? like
a launch or a genocide or a like?
like a page?)
a page is new. like a day
(

17.7.17

prophets of nada


sesame street should teach the alphabet 
Larsen A
Larsen B
Larsen C
  
liarzen x
losing why?
lozenge zzzzzzzzzzz
            DON’T MAKE IT TO Z julia screams

in a rare intelligent street conversation about everything i mention that osman spare calls freud and jung fraud and junk
            a stranger replies but spare got them mixed up – freud was about the junk

an obsession is a meditation
to confuse an obsession with any particularity
is like eating a potato but not its skin

if the plumb pudding was in danger in 1805 where is it now?

vice cofounder sham snit eh? says are my politics democrat or republican? i think both are horrific. and it doesn’t matter anyway. money runs amerika, money runs everything
            sadoos perform their anarchist function
by not being run

snit eh? also says i came to amerika from canada because canada is stultifyingly boring and incredibly hypocritical

i used to try to please the normals. now i realize they can only be pleased through normalcy … or by turning abnormalcy into a commodity – for commodities are a keystone of the arch of normalcy (aren't those familiar retail chains of thought comforting)
every new batch of fluffballs drove him
to a dither of vicarious maternity

infrequently watching newscasts gives the overwhelming impression that the entire human species is imbecilic – not just the newscasters but everyone watching. topics are dealt with as if the audience's a kindergarten class. (no. the average kindergarten student is brighter)

getting better at costumes. before they were unidentifiable (meritorious – as most costumes are, even when wonderfully done, tediously identifiable) and incoherent (meritorious – like a street babbler, which has more merit than the average street talker but less than that craved captivating repartee)
now they’re becoming unidentifiable and coherent –
this nexus of sensible irrationality in sartorial form

doctor of internal medicine explaining what she does – i specialize in everything you can’t see
sadoo diaper – so do i

why am i not read?
            is it not because i am too realistic
            i’m guilty of excessive realism
            realism so real it cuts out all the shit you think is real but isn’t (then projecting your insanities on me)
            i am textual flesh – translating the sensation of movement in the city to words

psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. they open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong

this was a very nice neighbourhood
until the monkeys got out of control
exilesandwich



9.11.16

tosf - tilda tilde


the online sadoo family – #3

tilda tilde  ~.~
http://tildadottilde.blogspot.ca/

tilda was born in a tilde, in an act of a fact, gazes of gaza, the gauze of a geisha. was she born? yes, we can say this. not as a fact or even an act but a story. not as a story or even a narrative but an effusion. does this mean she is a gushing forth … a diarrhea? not impossibly – she is an entrails juice – but more a casting, an among.

is she then born of a negation or some negation’s equivalency? perhaps. yet feeling no compulsion to identify herself with her birth or any birth but maybe birth or rather all births, she is a strength of water, a new kind, an old kind, not unkind and not-kind, a class of kindling.

this flow is what she sometimes calls a fiction, a fiction what she sometimes calls a life.

sadoo next idia møme