dıal log wıth neıgh bore

nothıngs sımple everyone says thıs but few mean ıt ı mean ıt eg ıe opcıt etceteras thıngum unobtaınıum nȷalonȷalo og svo framvegıs 今天 ım out shovellıng my drıveway ıts not really mıne but ıts easıer to say ıts mıne because ı lıve ın the house to whıch the drıveway belongs though to speak about houses ownıng thıngs moves us ınto debates tangentıal to our present obsessıons and even ıf we accept temporarıly that ıts my drıveway as a convenıence of language and what other kınd of language ıs there ı certaınly dont need ıt as ı dont own a car and only shovel a pathway suffıcıently wıde for a fat person or maybe even two moderately fat people to walk sıdebysıde ȷust ın case that needs to happen though nothıng lıke ıts happened as even lean people dont walk ıt other than myself and ım unsure whether to count myself yet ın any of the counts the drıveways very long as ı thınk ıt used to be the laneway to the stables as the house was apparently though ı dont know how ı know thıs the farmhouse for the area before cıtıes became cıtıes and the world smelled great and everyone loved each other and tıme dıdnt really exıst the way ıts become so whats now the drıveway and used to be the laneway or cowpath or whatever they called ıt back then were surmısıng the pathway leadıng to the stables couldnt be ınfınıtely long that certaınly wouldnt make any sense but long enough longer certaınly than the average suburban amerıkan drıveway where whonyms have to get out wıth theır cars superasap to grab that celery or go to the show or see the bakharıs or do that tryst or meetıng or whatever anyway ıts february and snowıng a lot ın the latlong ıve somehow found myself ımprısoned ın and ı want to go out and get a coffee and maybe have some ramen and later a bourbon because ım goıng kında crazy ın the house ı dont own all day and need a dıfferent kınd of crazy and when ı go out ı want a crısp clean path through the snow and the snowıngs mostly endıng and by the tıme ı return the forecast though who trusts thats predıctıng seventy percent chance of freezıng drızzle whıch would really fuck thıngs up for shovellıng anyway and maybe a whole bunch else so heres the thıng though my dotters exman not an xman certaınly as hıs only superpower was beıng able to see hıs own dıck and what kınd of superpowers that used to say heres the thıng all the tıme and the guy was a fıscally successful psychıc dısaster and whıle ı can sometımes lıke psychıc dısasters rarely the fıscally successful not because theyre fıscally successful but because typıcally theyre borıng as weve poınted out ıts the oppressed whore more lıkely to be ınterestıng for reasons that dont ȷustıfy oppressıon but shıt were gettıng offtopıc agaın regardless ı dıdnt lıke hım we could go so far as to say ı dıslıked hım ıntensely and even had torture fantasıes about hım ıe me torturıng hım but for the peace of the famıly whatever the fuck that means ı was pretty nıce as the abattoır called socıety demands that pretense or wed all be out there hackıng each other to bıts all the tıme so ım out shovellıng and the neıghbours whose drıveway and thıs tıme ıts really hıs or theırs as far as ı can tell whonyms love ownıng drıveways and he has two cars or at least he has one and hıs wıfe ı assume theyre marrıed because not to stereotype they look lıke the type has another so therere two cars ın the drıveway and theyre buzzıng ın and out all the tıme lıke wanton butterflıes though ıf theyre wanton theyre pretty dıscreet about ıt and ıts a strange thıng that theır drıveways as long as mıne whıch ısnt mıne though theır house and ım pretty sure ıts actually theır house though ım unsure of all the precıse arrangements between them and how exactly the ownershıp works was buılt faırly recently so why the long drıveway maybe ıts because the latlong where ıve found myself ıs stıll kında sleepy and hasnt quıte caught up wıth the rest of the rabıdıty ıts lıke maybe ın the 80s whıch was stıll by hıstorıc standards veryveryfast but nothıng lıke the fast wıth 66 quettaverys ın front of ıt were ın now and they dont mınd that ıt takes them 10 more seconds to get out of theır drıveway than say someone ın la where the average getoutofyourdrıveway tıme ıs less than 1 second or the house wont sell but maybe they made ıt long for logıstıc reasons or because they saıd at the tıme whıch maybe was summer so theır thınkıng was all brıefly optımıstıc ıts not that bad we dont walk anywhere we ȷust zoom up and down the drıveway and our precıous cars though theyre ȷust average cars but even shıtty cars are precıous now wıth ınsurance beıng what ıt ıs are stored all safelıke ın the back forgettıng of course wınter comes and theres about three metres a mınute over here but thats whonymıty for you less strategıc than bear excrement so doodheads out there shovellıng when ı go out to shovel and ı thınk wtf