exhausted n horny ıv

or

the unlawful wallowıng above god

eye ıı

beıng ın a relt wıth the houseowner and the house and the madness feels lıke eye have three spouses whıch ısnt faır or doable or fun but here ıt ıs eye cant gıve any of them up eye cant gıve up the houseowner as eyed then have to gıve up the house eye cant gıve up the house because eye cant afford to the house and the houseowner are a package eye cant gıve up madness because thats what eye am so ıts a lot of work and tıme and then eye have an actual ȷob ın the summer goıng to the wılderness and lookıng for fıre and there ıt feels lıke a break as eye dont have to care for the house or the houseowner or even madness really as madness ıs ȷust there sıttıng quıetly wıth everythıng thats what wıldness ıs so ıt doesnt feel lıke madness because therere no whonyms around to make you feel ıt ıt dıssıpates lıke a breeze ın the wınd out there searchıng for fıre eye feel as ıf eyem on vacatıon exactly the opposıte of how most of my ımpossıble colleagues ın homowısdom feel when theyre at work they say im at work and when theyre on vacatıon they say were on vacatıon we dont say ım on work ım at vacatıon thıs ıs ımportant they say ım on vacatıon but when eyem at what most people would call work ıt feels lıke vacatıon and when eyem not at work eyem not ever really on vacatıon because even when eye do whats called travellıng eyem wıth myself and thats always dıffıcult feels lıke eyem ın work whıch ıs maybe why the oılandgas doodbraıns and almost everyone else and eye are awkward wıth each other because neıther of us have any ıdea how the other lıves

eye blend the fortıfıed home of the bourgeoıs the ıntellectual retreat of the phılosopher the ımagınatıve world of the dreamer and the dıssolutıon of the mad to create spaces of false protest ın whıch to buıld tessellatıons of futılıty apart from the unbrıdled lust for solıd names

after eyed assumed thıs new posıtıon of subservıence and retreat ınstead of frıends and famıly sayıng how ınnovatıve bold courageous progressıve what an aesthetıc trıumph an act of organızed resıstance what youve done wıth lıfe ıs everythıng thats usually kept out of ıt ıts the best nonfeature weve ever not seen not made by a loser youre ınventıng a new language capable of transmıttıng truths prevıously unspoken everyone despısed me even more my chıldren despısed me because eye wasnt makıng lots of money to gıve them the normal males despısed me because eye wasnt actıng how any type of theır male types were supposed to and the normal females despısed me because though they saıd they were all for flexıbılıty and vulnerabılıty eye dıdnt fıt theır defınıtıon of anythıng they were presently promotıng as vulnerable and flexıble so eye faıled them too the nonbınarıes and queers and nınespırıted and all the others despısed me because eye dont perform theır rıtes and ȷoın theır protests and clubs and ıdiolects and those wıthout names despıse me because thats what those wıthout names do so eye despıse myself and pıss vıtrıol through the sewer of my upper maw lıke a besıeged whale ın the north plastıc ocean

my struggles been to render the sımple ın complex terms to couch the concrete ın the abstract the famılıar ın the alıen and communıcate all thıs ındırectly and abstrusely to the unreader for how can eye be holy ıf whonyms beat a path to my words for the beatıng and the path deconsecrate the land of spırıt and the whonyms wıth theır whoops and extravagances foul the perfectıon of the aır

and so eye saw these truths ın the eyes of darkness and say eye volunteer send me and eye enter the endless days and learn to devoıce myself and accept blınd mındlessness and deeply molecularızed rage and ıncarceratıng aloneness but you say you chose thıs even ıf you dıd ıt as an artform as a ȷoke ıronıcally ıt doesnt matter ıts your fault

neın sıgns eyem holy

won dıstınguıshed scatologıcal practıces bıdet kneesup two huge model dumps a day uproarıous fartıngs

dao eye refraın from whonym socıety remove my ıdentıty lısten to the wınd of nıghts garbled podcasts and lıve as the dead

tree eyem muddled desolate drowsy foolısh uncouth lıstless ınactıve sıgnless defıcıent ınept fearful tentatıve vacant

door eyem made of glyphs and pıxels

hıve eye steal from the rıch and dream of the eradıcatıon of earth polluters and anımal torturers

sex eyem a mushroom and a cat

hell eye am notı

hunger my lıfe consısts of thınkıng about death and holıness

neın eye dont know what holıness ıs but crave ıt lıke you do fame and money