sadoo ate n*v*l n*v*l eats sadoo

i lack the linear sequencing module required to think or write or act or live in your culture  someone was drunk on the assembly line and dropped my module into a urinal  one of those with a mothpuck that doesnt flush properly and is filled with weekold piss and cigarette butts and the bibbertippler thinks no onell notice and in exchange he substitutes a few random beta plasmatic polypolar postanarchic diffeohomeomorphoglomean modules that never went into production that he happens to have down his wretched underwear  but i do

when is time? may be the central question of time  the question that unites clock or technological or bureaucratic or shapebound time and dreamtime or wordtime or wyrmtime or merdetime

this isnt a novel  its a devastation  a soul inversion and arid turning  a hurlyburlywhirlytwirly  a dinner party of inmate warden psychiatrist custodian inspector chef anthropologist journalist corpse arborist consultant  which degenerates and apotheosizes simultaneously as the courses of drinking surpass the sum of their own fluidity   theres a formula for this

whys sadoo a novel? because everythings a novel  because you tell me nothings real unless its a novel   heres a silly jism

      sadoo is a novel

      i is a sadoo

      therefore i is a novel

everything complicates and is complicated  even the things intended to simplify complicate  thus i fit sadoo into modern times which  despite chucky spencer  is always not then but now  and you criticize me of being mad  im just the outside mad you are inside  but for me this is the way of things  sadoo isnt representative of reality or an escape from it  it is reality but reality thats found outside reality by going into reality so far one falls into   into what?   well         novel

is the novel a book? or in more accurate language is novel book? its said now in the better or at least more forceful circles books dont exist  but if book exists is it greater or lesser than novel? ie is it a hypo or hypernym? all novels are books but that all books are novels  though not as readily said  is no less true

is book a subset of dream or dream book?

does knowledge cascade after failure or failure knowledge?

which follows which  before or after?

love or doubt? whos the mother?

and dont say this is like asking which is bigger  magenta or justice? everythings analogous belowandabove enfolded deadandalive vision and follow and zorb and book   sadoo is this everything   everythings askable   sadoos this askability

has everyone forgotten curly marks?

the world as heresiarch doktyr villafoid q q bryngurged texts is a false cleanerfish

the eye of the forest fattens the settlements therefore one takes as a quotient the few with open digits

my mons is a tarantula

what on uranus do you mean by that

im rarely on uranus

theres something to be said about something and theres nothing to be said about nothing but theres everything to be said about everything

we are the men who are not the men who are the men who are not

what do we call ourselves then

we are nomen

for the moment

people under 70 and over 7 are very unreliable if they arent cats

so im sitting in a tub of epsom salts when my mons crawls out and bites a passing bear

irritating for all

the bear was into it

sometimes it takes me 12 hours to begin to think im thinking

yet youre still not   thats the funny thing

this is a play

this is a play we put on at theatre of the abturd for our dadas

not our mamas?

our mamas are hens of the woods and they count like fireflies

the list of characters is long and one and none and the copyright belongs to a halflitre plastic bottle of solución oftálmica and the directors a prick and the writer hasn’t been conceived

ive heard that one before

its a play on the one youve heard before

on?

of

one?

lost

play?

play

sometimes when im wandering in the city of the forest i hear the chainsaw bird and it frightens me and i run back to my cabin in the woods like a prepubescent boy crying for his mother

and you find the mons has also returned and is waiting for you above the door still hungry

youve heard that one before too

ive heard immunity

today i sat in a tub and put my feet in another tub and put my fingernail in my toenails and got out some juicy lint and scratched my gonads and the entire experience was something that was so exhilarating it should be taught in schools

far more practical than whats presently taught

the problem is one of prudery

perjurys never a problem   the law itself lies and a lie within a lie places us in a mathematics that removes the problem by becoming it

i said priggery

the argument still stands

if arguments fell they wouldnt be arguments

what would they be

facts

but other than math there are no facts

but math is an argument

back to cleanerfish

id like to clean miss gists dish

thats another play

did you hear the one about the ant the chives and the drugdealer drinking in a bar when a jooqbox walks in

i hope not

whats too plus doo

it comes before therefore and after pinafore

at precisely 108 degrees

were good

as best as budapest

i went to the phratry the other day

to gawk or mock

we dont go anywhere really

thats why its a play

we dont make any sense

thats why were false cleanerfish

its coming together now

that mean we can close?

we never close

that mean we can wrap things up

we never wrap things up

this is going to be difficult

any more than any other time?

lets just stop

how though

why dont you say miss gists dish 4983 times and then well stop

miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss gists dish miss dists gish giss dists mish miss mists mish giss gistss gish diss dists dish iss ists ish ish dist ish ish ist ist shish iss ish sissish ish ishishiss issishish ishissishishiss gishishissishiss dishishishish i

                                                                                                     s

                                                                                                            s

                                                                                                             h

                                                                                                              h

                                                                                                               i

                                                                                                                s

                                                                                                                 h

                                                                                                                  i

                                                                                                                   s

                                                                                                                    h

                                                                                                                     i

                                                                                                                      s

                                                                                                                        s

                                                                                                                              h

                                                                                                                                i

                                                                                                                                 s

                                                                                                                                  h

                                                                                                                                    s

                                                                                                                                                h

                 

                                                                                                                                                      i

                                                                                                                                                                                    h

                                                                                                                                                                                                      s

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        s

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          h

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                i

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            s

                                                                                                                             h

absinthe makes the fart grow stronger

if this is time give me blood

if this is blood give me water

if this is water give me air

if this is air give me fire

if this is fire give me plasma

if this is plasma give me god

if this is god give me i

if this is i give me love

if this is love give me art

if this is art give me dreams

if these are dreams give me death

if this is death give me absinthe

if this is absinthe give me more

gott gedanken denken ii

mysticism is the process of attempting to enter the process of that of god which survives the deaths of gods, doing so by avoiding names.   it has no throne:  whether reason, passion, self, will, nothing.

i speak of god as god is the most impossible thing and if i should lose the ability to speak of impossible things i will lose the i and the ability to speak, which are one.

i and god are one in the way cabbage and god are one.  in this way i speak of god.

the negation of reality is humanity’s only positive and distinctive attribute and it achieves this to the extent it enters spaces of zero dimension:  god and art are two common names for this entering.  that the former was dominant in past time and the latter in present and future time registers in reality but not in its negation; in its negation god and art are the same.

certain existentialists and others who thought they were brave derided god as an escape, mysticism as weakness, sacrifice and passivity as shadows of authenticity; promoted the will, projects, societal struggle as the valid human enterprises.  and who could not say this sitting at certain angles?  but stretching the triangles and squares out to be spheres, who could not see escape as escape from convention, weakness as water, shadows as something to be praised.

that god is obviously unreal hardly prevents us from believing more (not more firmly, for that is an adverb of the real, but more spatially) – and yet with another belief – that god is not only the most real thing but the only real thing.  this possibility is hardly possible in the marketplace, the marketplaces of money and ideas, the unfirm that pretends not to be.

not suffering leads us to god, for suffering can equally lead us away, or anywhere; suffering is random in origin and direction – god leads us to god, and if money is said to be a wall between the seeker of god and god it is hardly because money is more a wall than society or art or love or even a wall or non-wall but as it is something and there must be nothing – not even suffering or non-walls – between.

the demons have left me and i am empty

while they inhabited this i they covered my disease

with their words, their carousings

now there is nothing

i am an empty monastery waiting for gods

to leave their lives and inhabit these

hapless infinite cells

i am average – the sum and average of all averages.  i cast rough planks on the mud of life to cross to the outhouses of god.  the planks are made of booze, sex, books, dreams – anything i can find that prevents me from sinking in the mud.  but i know god is the mud and i’ll never reach the outhouses, only finally sinking when no longer can i find.

to say that god is death is not untrue.  yet even if it were true, would we not now need god more than ever in time, death being now what it is – a nothing that is refused?

god cannot enter time but through shadow.  so the lover of god lives in shadow and the light of the city is a constant burden.  that god cannot is no reason to refuse our need.  that god cannot, that the city is a burden, are no reasons to assume our divinity, or anything resembling knowledge, to avoid the city or time.

we hardly ate of the tree of knowledge; this is history’s ruse.  our innocence is maintained.  and only the story we tell ourselves of our eating deceives us in disbelieving our innocence.

visions of god are not negated from asceticism but affirmed – god enters vision through unions of flesh and flesh’s absence.

it has always been the book that has saved me.  but saved me from what? and to what? that these questions are unanswerable in the i and yet i knows it has been saved - is this not dissimilar to god being dead and in its being dead made more alive?

god is not an escape from reality but a confrontation and subversion of it.  for there are those born into the human who test existence and rather than have the capability or desire to conform to it object to its order.  god is a name given to this objection and those who conform live in the creatings of that givenness.  weakness is a name given by the conformers to the non-conformers.  but weakness is everywhere, even as strength; it is rather that they are variously configured - and how are these varieties of configurating seen, but through god?