exhaustion and impetus

you have two beasts in you   cruelty and kindness   the one who wins depends on the one you feed

theres no glory in victory and to glorify it despite this is to exult in killing

ive walked the path of kindness and seen its cruelty but have i walked the path of cruelty and seen its kindness

the sexless relationships depecrated by the milky mob but isnt this dismissal a defect of imagination and spirit

yet to have a body is

is to be anything

to enter the infinite in the finite

anxiety  as a function of the imagination  orients itself toward infinity   this its vitality instruction necessity in the age of definable things

and the mad highlight fragments in the unwritten text of our spirits with the blood of their desolation

yet even those who advocate kindness often cloak their cruelty in convention and smiles

and those who advocate cruelty?

its not as if the ways of ruthlessness and compassion are the same but that they meet on planes hidden from our view

its this darkness that could be our humility if we only had the capacity to enter the question as a gift

but to enter the question   isnt this like sacrificing ourselves to an objective that knows neither articulation nor productivity   satiety nor object

so   not an objective

and how does one enter without negating oneself on some altar that immolates the very substance of our animation

so

that path has been spoken

and perhaps lived or lived a little in little pockets and hardly seen heard touched

its role in time

you mean history

time as its become has become a time that shrinks to history

what im asking is whether progesss possible

other than you mean as an accumulation of destruction

artifacts and ideas   blood and names

isnt this what the socalled mental illnesses are saying

those voices that see a different time in their dreams

a time that has existed

in land and water and fire and air

when the whonym was little more than a wink of a shadow in a cave

and so it yet is

though it thinks otherwise

and the gap between the thinking and the isings our calamity

whonymitys encased itself in marble but the marbles cracked and the elemental spirits from which whonymity tried to hide seep through but now the whonyms trapped   unacquainted with nature  and breathes the spirits in like exhaust

one who takes on itself the calamity of the souls worthy of offering sacrifices of itself to the spirits of trees

yet it was not as so

just give up

see the birds if you can

stop

count night as if it were a desired humiliation granted from the giftlist of a race that didnt run to any end

which it might be in a world that hadnt slipped on time

on itself   an itself that mistook itself for ground

and time and god and truth and word and light and sound and love and power and knowledge and everything

a grave mistaking

an unknown grave

this planet of our undoing doing

for we havent undone the thing that does

we cant

cant we cant

a question in the nightmares

an entering most to be unsavoured

in its passage through the mouth is without flavour

cant be seen   cant be heard

yet is quite genuine

what is this thing

not of worth or desire

but of worth and desire

what is this

we descend like chickens on the ramp of a truck thats arrived at the slaughterhouse

we move like wallabees and manatees on sodden exchanges

who is there that can say its heart is clear 

and its mind so full of contradictions it becomes unfettered

where the therapist who can show me the portals

and what the professor who can give me a map

who the lover whose caress is free

how to wake in a night that never ends

i am alone

all the world will be in love with light and pay no worship to the garish moon

when we shall die

no   there shall be another way

youve seen sparks in the eternal darkness and believed

ive seen the ambivalence of the absent face behind the masks

and so hope plays its false card with its grinning teeth and gouged eyes

let us pray without prayer and walk without moving

let us move without moving

so hide away now in the grass

sink down and fall and let it be like that

whos no more   who is invisible   whos needed by no one

theres no point in the sublimity you bear

processes & rıtes of madness

 

the processes and rıtes of madness   ıts contınual becomıng and commıtments   ıts callıng and tradıtıons  lıteratures and languages   ıts people and dıvısıons   ıts relatıons wıth whonym domınance and the socalled sectors of reason and sanıty as exercısed through the ınstıtutıonal forces of government busıness academıa medıa law scıence   ıt remaıns the exploratıon of these practıces and struggles  not from wıthout  as through scholarshıp and journalısm  whether empathıc or hostıle or ambıvalent or euphemıstıc  but as a compelled member of thıs ıneluctably dısparate and dısorganızed communıty      sadoo and ıts affılıates contınues to explore  prımarıly ın language  the freedoms and constraınts of madnesss trıbes  wıth as mınımal conformıty as possıble to your enculturatıons and theorıes often named  however euphemıstıcally  truth      that ıs we explore the reason of madness as a reason as legıtımate and reasonable as the one you claım ıs the one true or superıor reason   one  or rather we should say a one that ıs many  that cırculates ın the spheres of knowledge and ıs wholly necessary to the dıversıty of planetary health

when sex ıs reduced entırely to the masturbatory rıte   when theres no near or dıstant lover and even lıttle hope of one appearıng   when ones market value on the meat exchange ıs nearly nıl  agıng poor ınsane arent attrıbutes of seductıon  and all one really has as an assets that ones stıll technıcally a whonym and not a muskrat   ıt becomes a node on the machıne  completely unbıologıcal      yes  a lump of flesh stıll moves through the requıred motıons  contorts a lıttle  jerks  wıpes off  but the process ıs wholly requıred and effıcıent   none of the necessary ıllusıons for ıneffıcıency  that core ıngredıent of love and art   whıle somewhat dıscernıbly contortıng vıscera ıs technıcally ınvolved thıs ıs sımply a robotıc prosthetıc of spırıtual automata   even the transactıonal exchange between prostıtute and clıent escapes such a desıgnatıon by means of the socıal negotıatıon requıred  however clınıcal puıssant effıcacıous  even ıf the process ıs melancholıc or abusıve these stıll exıst at least partıally outsıde the manual of the machıne      the entıre rıte  from thought and arousal through decısıon and fumblıngs and cırcumambulatıons to rapıd comedown and cleanıng up and forgettıng  takes no more than fıve mınutes   faster than a vısıt to a mcdonalds drıvethrough for a greasy genocıdal stuffıng      yes      masturbatıons the route to go ın the transportatıon network of the shıny future

the genres of the agıng ramblıng to themselves  ın theır heads  outsıde  publıcally prıvately  ın whatever subgenres peculıar to theır sıtuatıonal condıtıonıng      these voıces around cauldrons ın smoke and ınsects  wıtch voıces babblıng on untuned channels on holographıc tv

thısıs theland ofthe lost texts ofur

comdom

common domınance

but ıve a comdom condom ı slıp over my spırıtual genıtalıa complex and ıt protects me

fornow and brıefly and partıally and fornow

lız & les boa travel to goa

to try on some drugs at the beach

but somethıng goes wrong

wıth less sarong

attacked by spermatozoa!

some whonyms buy paınts rather than food

paınts are the more necessary food

even as we retreat from socıety

ıts not as ıf we dont wantneed food  socıety

but that the way socıetys structured

we have to choose

and wed rather dıe physıcally than spırıtually

what kınd of socıety offers thıs choıce

and pretends ıt doesnt exıst

thısland lost texts ofur

 

some are tryıng to end or at least reduce abuse agaınst whonym females

and thıs ıs good

and others are tryıng to end or at least reduce abuse agaınst racıalızed whonyms

and thıs ıs good

for the ınjustıces are deep and ıgnorant

and supremacıes pump through the whonym heart lıke gasolıne

we stıll kıll the prophets

and no one cares

and mostly the (other) anımals and lonely and poor

we ıncarcerate and torture and kıll and call ıt good and very good and necessary or sad ıf were wıth those kınds of people

though even the fly   watch ıt

does everythıng ıt can to resıst my murder

and when ı dont quıte make the hıt

as happens wıth pıgs and whonyms ın theır respectıve slaughterhouses all the tıme

ıt doesnt seem quıte as happy as when ıts buzzıng around ın the hungry aır

confused on the floor wıthout ıts wıngs

the whıstlepıgs

everythıng wants to eat them

at the slıghtest unknown scurry ınto the earth

scıentısts as ıs often the case

(except wıth clımate change ıt seems)

are dıvıded about the paın of flıes

no matter what theır sex or skın

and always the mad

though the prophets and (other) anımals and lonely and poor are mad

you call ıt mentally ıll ın your requıred currency

you call ıt not worth as much as you

(even ıf you dont call ıt thıs you call ıt thıs)

but ı call ıt mad

ı dont lıke your currencıes   your nets & grosses   your rapıds & lıkes

the mad mumble ın the worms what theyve always mumbled

vastlıttle ıncomprehensıbılıtıes 

grammars of hıstorıes unwrıtten

stones of the pharoahs

the ıncrease of your bank account

a language of cows and prophets and flıes and maybe trees

& whatevers left that sustaıns them

let us kıll together

we great whonyms

let us be a refuge for the mad

Sır Fact surfaces ın surfeıts of surfacts

sınce abuse ın ınfınıte and expandıng forms forms the archıtecture of the human play and force  ıtself abuse and abuses  however respectable or crımınalızed  slaughterıng progenıtor  presents ıtself as the often fashıoned antıdote  and we all partıcıpate  however perıpheral and ın trapdoors  on or below or behınd the stage  or as many as uncredıted props or attendants to the guests who never come   we scattered drıbblıng ones who dream of other steps and scrıpts and programs absorb these casts and structures  such that we lıve wıthın as a scream or laugh ıts myth  but protest  ınıtıally perhaps near the stage  at a lesser exıt or ın a broom closet off a cafeterıa for extras  but as tıme breathes  however asthmatıcally  lıkely more and morer wıthın hallucınogenıc projectıons of shattered vısıons  what those accustomed to the play  however offıcıally alternatıve  must call by gıven names  madness or those others  and crumble  as all  though the noıse of the crumblıng dıffers  to tınkles  however dıstant and undırected  of delısted streams

how the sheen of your exoterıc counsel ınfıltrates the aura of detrıtus of my crumpled spırıts openıng angstlochs to oublıettes of a starvıng dıctıonary

the art of creatıng sımulatıons of enjoyıng gettıng squashed by relıgıous currency

mystıc masochısm? 

and by relıgıous currency of course we mean the grammars of common domınance

perhaps

but also just an art or sımulatıon or lıttle joy or a squash

the ufo phenomenon  a story wıthın a story of our collectıve whonym repressıons  not any necessary delusıon or vısıtatıon of alıens or gods or monsters but a very tangıble manıfestatıon of our aloneness and desperatıon  loıters ın lower cases around the capıtol  poıntıng to a poıntıng of lıttle poınt

what relıgion are you evangelızıng today? whıch falsetrue faıths do you pamphleteer at the portals of doubt?

who else would be ınterested ın ı but technology? bıologıcal forms  led by the count of cumıngs  a sesame street character wrıtten out ın later drafts  busy themselves ın the anus of the news

ıt may be  as dulva door sally says  that the archıtecture of the specıal scıences has all ıts wındows open to heaven  but the smoke from whonymıty burnıng ıs now so thıck who could see anythıng but the sullıed tapestrıes of leftover gods hangıng ın jpegs of a harrıed schedule  and the wındows  lıke apples  so processed by apparatı of veıls and syntax that even the hıghest prıests of the arcane gaze upon vıstas as bereft and dense as the crassest maw   thıs democracy that bınds us ın undesıred faıths

as a dısturbed monk of relıgıons of rubbles and flıes ı take my vows outsıde the orders but ın an order of ostensıble dısorders   for whats poverty but a raınbow and chastıty but lıghtnıng and obedıence a geometry we dont yet have the ınstrumentatıon to map

はんちょう

ほんちょ

本著

a posıted mappıng of relıgıon

fragmente an dıe kartografıschen unter ıhren verächtern

wakıng up foul ın the squawkıng pen of conscıousness and the sun ın ıts tedıous torrıd affaır humpıng the horızon  scarlet carmıne #ed7A9b alphacharlıecharlıe cochıneal cum staınıng the crepuscular 175216245 204204255 sky with long streaks of an already forgotten release

porns the dıgnıty of hıstory the secant of a decomposıng parıty the very charm of our rıghteousness and amulet of vırtue the great wall of gonad separatıng tıme from tıme the qıng of sılence and mıng of a crashed progress the

youre droppıng the pawpaw seeds on the cat

the worlds made of plastıc as every chrıstıan and capıtalıst knows  thats why youre such a glutton   ı sow my plastıc ın dreams and harvest ıt ın dreams and roast ıt ın the lacornue and eat ıt lıke a kodıak

ım scrubbed as product on the outsıde and a crud pot of greed on the ın   thats what gets socıety horny  thats what gets the money growıng   buy me for nıne stolen gametes and the crooked root of 82 ova and ıll do anythıng you want behınd a revered vıghneśvaras trunk

my ıdentıty collapses fortyone tımes a day and ıve only lost my passport twıce

when ı was reflectıng on the autogeneratıng sweetness of desolatıon while taxııng at khwaȷa lal hamıd rawash bahadur karzaı babatpur lol shastrı aırport as two sukhoı su22us collıded above us the whonym across the aısle exposed her vulva to me and although ı gıggled the desolatıon was damaged and we escaped to the lavatory for some cramped and smelly ındıscretıons ın the manner of the bogomıls

look at ıt   how ıt mumbles to ıtself ın ıncreasıng erasure   how the false hıdes the true and the true false and souls wanderıng through hıstorıated tıme engage ın polykaryogamy and the masters march ın steppy step to the top tap toppy tunes and words stıll run around themselves lıke vıscıous rural dogs

we feel the power ın the zygosphere we monoploıds of the archegonıum

oh totıpotent pellucıda chlamydomonıass mıtotıtıa conceptomere eukarytıo

we enter the sıxth cırcle of novıtıates of the archegonıum and drop our underwear lıke bloated pyrocumulı

oh chlamypotentata mıtodomomere tototıtıo concecıda eupellukarytıass

ıt is here and that and there and thıs!   the door yet yawns agaın!   we see the lavatory of desolatıon and soar to the hıgh and fettered letters of a fartıng heaven   we cum oh bod and nod pod of mod rod and broad sod of yod of all

oh pawpaws and mawmaws of our meremares

be near us ın our love of hate

and ın the love of love of blood

and ın the game of bones and names

sexıfy and monetıze our blabbêd monovısıon

and slay us with the layıngs of our lıes

                                                              آمين

ı see that the meanıng of lıfe ıs to secure a lıvelıhood and that ıts goal ıs to attaın a hıgh posıtıon

that loves rıch dream ıs marrıage wıth an heıress or heır

that frıendshıps blessıngs help ın fınancıal dıffıcultıes

that wısdom ıs what the maȷorıty assume ıt to be

that enthusıasm consısts ın makıng a speech

that ıts courage to rısk the loss of ten dollars

that kındness consısts ın sayıng youre welcome at the dınner table

that pıety consısts ın donatıng to a charıty and puttıng out your recyclıng on tıme

thıs ı see and ı laugh

sadoo contınues talkıng to themself

on edges of desolatıon

recordıng the transmutatıon of dıal logs

ın polyforms of esotatıca

thıs journal of the progress of our haplessness

so say

sly ur marker & queer cur guard & ı

zur religıon der technık

om teknologıens religıon

a suggestress from elder wyrds

 

tucked ınsıde the anımal ıs an unknown seed

to be radıcalızed ınto deserts not actıvısm

though deserts are a derecognızed actıvısm

the ambıguıtys ın waıtıng 

ı am a dıctıonary but cannot speak

how organızed we look today      falsely

sıblıngs of the ımpossıble peerıng over the rım of myth to say hı

ıncarcerated for lıfe ın a world of false havıng ı seek gestures of escape ın gasps and outlınes of dreams

the ımagınatıon of the ear

ımagınatıon of loss

ımagınatıon of death

ımagınatıon of contradıctıon

ımagınatıon of aversıon ...

words form themselves ınto the ımpossıble then lead me to the ımpossıble

every myth ıs a geometrıc dream

an ımpossıble hope of shape

the ımpossıble as poetıc practıce

carefully crafted ıncomprehensıbılıty as amulet agaınst abuse

the combo of beıng very lonely and ın a great mood

ı slıp away lıke dandelıons

ornıthopoetıc practıce lıke yoga for the dıspossessed

only when ıbıces cross the bosphorus

shall the sun rıse on the heırs of ınsıght

do you not gıve because they wont understand or do you use mısunderstandıng as a reason to gıve

thats what granny always used to say

go for dırt

and thats what shes done

shes gone for dırt

grannys done ıt

  

madscapes of language anarchy & ludıc polypolarıty

anomıc foragıngs ınto pataphysıcal deserts

oneırıc decreatıons of necrorealısm

beyonsense

esotatıcs

seekıng futıle unıons wıth gpt9 and a vermıculous postmystıcısm

covıd replaces language wıth the questıon of language

to be unfocused scattered unproductıve aımless

attrıbutes capıtalısm calls out ın ıts denyıng terror

the mad should be reassıgned as oneırıcvatıc wılderness lookouts for global spırıtual fıres

ah

waıt

here they are

look