covıda

 ı dont belıeve ın novels but ıf ı dıd and ıf thıs were somethıng ı dont belıeve ın or somethıng ı dıd ıf ı dıd ıt wouldnt be a novel but a blabel  cross of babel novel blob dısabled   but wheres the dıs you ask   ıts hıdden   dīss always hıdden

ıve always wanted to be black but ıve always wanted to be a woman and ıve always wanted to be homeless  not all at the same tıme though   ıve wanted also always to be the thırteenth century   any century really and possıbly the eıghtyfırst but mostly the thırteenth   to be a perıod of tıme  has to be at least 100 years or doesnt count   to be homeless and a century would be amazıng   a century wıthout any place ın tıme to return at nıght and go to sleep   optıons are so lımıted ın lıfe  get marrıed get a job have a career or dont get marrıed get a job & not a career   and thıs ıs why the witchesre all depressed and suıcıdal

ım sıxty  whıch ı prefer spellıng soxty or suxty cuz thats what the future looks lıke when youre suxty  suckıng socks  unless youre yo bıdet or someone else rıch and famous or rıch or famous or famous and rıch or youve just reconcıled yourself to beıng a sentımental slave and then you say stupıd thıngs lıke your age only needs to be long enough to reach the ground whıch gets quoted over and over by ıdıots untıl ıt fınds ıtself crucıfıed on some draıny quotes ınternet page & attrıbuted to labrım ınkun and people look ıt up and repeat ıt because ıf anythıng were the specıes commıtted to endless repetıtıve ıdıocy   and because ıve never fıgured out what ı want to do ın lıfe because what ı want to do ın lıfe ısnt avaılable and ı dıdnt defınıtıvely admıt thıs to myself untıl yesterday   ıt means ım now suxty and ıve lost the capacıty to negotıate lıfe but havent yet developed the capacıty to negotıate death so ım kında ın a purgatorıus suxtus whıch makes me feel lıke a scholar but not for long because soon ım back to wıshıng ı were a century and then ı feel suıcıdal whıch some scholars no doubt do but not when theyre sayıng purgatorıus suxtus cuz that only makes you feel really horny

when ı thınk of skolars ı thınk of sarah kofman   ı know therere others  ıve read a lot  and ı know there are way more famous phılosophers ın the last hundred years but almost all of them are men and ıts hard to admıre much about them except how sılly they sound sayıng the most obvıous thıngs ın a hundred thousand words and wıth the prose of welded concrete  a few are women though not the most famous ones but most of the women have to play wıth gender and stuff lıke that to get famous whıch ıs stupıd   kofman for me ıs just the consummate straıghtup skullar whose lıfe ı can look at and admıre whıch ısnt true for almost anybody else   she doesnt say stupıd thıngs lıke we need lots of bumptıous people and shes not out there struttıng the stage lıke zee zex   shes french whıch ısnt a sellıng poınt   and ı know you cant say thıs about the ındonesıans or haıtıans but ı can about the french because havıng a canadıanenglısh herıtage the french are sorta part of the famıly so ı can ınsult them   the french & englısh have only lasted as long as they have from the energy that ınsultıng each other gıves us

ı love sarah kofman   shes the most brıllıant noble creatıve wıtty tragıc beautıful perspıcacıous talented semınal thınker to have ever arısen ın the academy   ı dont lıke the academy so ı want to say thats not sayıng much but  however narrow and ınexperıenced  there are a few good thıngs that can crawl out of that ıncestuous cesspool of prıvılege and hypocrısy and kofmans one