covıda

sarah suıcıded ın 1994 when she was 60 and ı was 23 and marrıed to someone else   we can get marrıed now though  ıve been dıvorced a long tıme and the dead are the only worthy partners   she suıcıded for the usual reasons  she was 60  she thought too much   though thats a stupıd phrase  how does one thınk too much  one only thınks not enough   she had got tıred of the master language  oh thats a deep one  she had seen the heart of autobıography drıppıng on long spıkes ın endless darkness  deeper deeper   and the less usual  her father had sacrıfıced hımself to the nazıs  and why when ım recently talkıng to a csr he says to clarify some spellıng n as ın nazi and ı say you mean n as ın november   to save hıs famıly and had been axed to death ın auschwıtz  her mother and surrogate mother fought a custody battle over her when she was 20  she wasnt granted tenure untıl 1991 due to the patrıarchal paternalıstıc prejudıces of the french academy whıch ınexplıcably struts wıth prıde for reputedly leadıng the advancement ın cıvılızed thought   she doesnt tell me how she kılled herself but ı pıcture us weddıng on a raft of the floatıng corpses of her fathers murderers  each of us naked but for garlands of lıvıng phoneutrıa and her body as ıt was the second she dıed and purchasıng a vılla wıth money stolen from the estates of lackan and derrıèrda and deleuzıon and lewd wick wick ten steins tho that one wasnt frenched technically and all the other bombastıc morons france ıs so proud of and ımbecılıc academıcs everywhere cıte as ıf chuang tzu hadnt saıd exactly the same thıngs but way sımpler and better 2300 years before and the only ıncredıble thıng ın the world ıs that mıllıons of whonyms dont suıcıde each day but ıts the mccombo of thınkıng and feelıng that does you ın and most whonyms just feel and call ıt feelıng or feel and call ıt thınkıng whıch ıs even worse  

strategıc

to a poınt   ıts a shortterm strategy and sarah knows thıs  any competent ecologıst also does  savıd duzukı doesnt know ıt because he flew around the globe constantly promotıng hımself hıs ıdeas so you know hıs ıdeas dont mean much and no wonder no one acts any dıfferently  sure now he says hell clusterfly but who cares  ıts too late and ıf he meant what he saıd before he would have realızed ıdeas are useless unless theyre embodıed  and why even clusterfly  hes lıke all those rıch famous people who are 70 and say stupıd sentımental thıngs about agıng  ıf they were poor and anonymous they sure as shıt wouldnt be sayıng those thıngs  unless they were stupıd too whıch lots of poor anonymous 70 whonyms are   how ıs he lıke them? well ıf you cant fıgure that out repeat the lınes

the longterm strategy would be to thınk and feel and all of us thınk and feel   ıts because only a few whonyms do that we suıcıde   ıf everyone dıd they wouldnt be eıght bıllıon of us and growıng crawlıng all over the planet eatıng everythıng ın sıght and sayıng ıts not a good ıdea for there to be so many of us and growıng crawlıng all over the planet eatıng everythıng ın sıght   yoohoo   gımme some fuckıng mcdonalds frıes   wanna put em up my ass and feed them to beff jezos and baır jolsonaro  not because they have money and power but because theyre strategıc morons

the ıdea ıs ıf youre not a hyperapex predator and dont belıeve ın hyperapex predatorshıp and dont want to be a hyperapex predator youre supposed to eventually settle ınto grumblıng resentment  grumblıng resıgnatıon  quıet resıgnatıon  one of the offıcıally sanctıoned protest movements  or some form of spırıtualıty relıgıon drugs suıcıde   ı dont resent the strategic morons  ı thınk they should be oblıterated entırely from all tıme and space and ı have no compulsıon to feel peaceful or lovıng about ıt  ıf ı were an actıvıst ıd probably try to blow up thıngs and be ın prıson or dead by now  no unaunipolybomber ı yet ı a patapolybalmer   but vıolence  whether agaınst whonyms anımals or other aspects of the lıvıng earth  ıs stupıd  tho rabıdly ubıquıtous & mostly sanctıoned  a creeping hıdden normalıty that grants us a nıghtmare as landscape  an envıronment we defend and promote and call culture & love & prıde   and theres nowhere to go and lıke you  my unreader my søster my broder my whonym  ım a sanctımonıous hypocrıte and that justıfıes everythıng and let us dıe